[Yuri Novel] The Girl Next Door Knows My Secret <7> [Creative Awards 2025]
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<Epilogue>
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Chapter 3: Mika's Chapter -An Unspeakable Secret-
1
"Mika, you are my—'special' someone."
Nana's words echoed strongly in my heart.
They were enough to make me reveal a secret I never intended to share.
"You see... I like women."
I kept my eyes fixed on my glass. I couldn't bring myself to look at Nana. What kind of expression... was she wearing?
In the quiet private room, only the sound of my own heartbeat rang loudly in my ears.
This was the first time in my life I had ever spoken to anyone about my sexuality.
Of course, I had absolutely no intention of telling Nana today. It was Nana's birthday, the sixth one since we met, and I had given her earrings as a gift, just like always.
But I had always wondered, "Is that really enough?" Nana would definitely be happy, but I worried that deep down, she might be thinking, "Again?" That's why I asked her if there was anything else she wanted—that was all.
I never expected her to say, "I want to come to your house."
I remember the day we met.
Nana was good at peeling away my mask. Even back then, I tried to keep up appearances but couldn't at all, and I remember feeling quite panicked. Now—it's even more than that.
"............"
I couldn't shift my gaze from my glass. How much time had passed since I said it? My heartbeat gradually calmed down, and I could faintly hear the sound of people laughing from a distant private room.
Was Nana not going to say anything? What was she thinking right now? I was scared. I was scared, but—surely, if it was Nana...
I mustered all the courage I had and turned my eyes toward Nana for a brief moment.
Nana was frozen, her body still turned toward me. A slight frown creased her brow. Her expression looked as if she had been betrayed by someone she trusted, or as if she were enduring some terrible pain.
"Women... you're... lying, right...?"
Her voice was thin and trembling. It sounded less like a question and more like a plea. Hearing that, I felt as if I had been struck hard from behind. What kind of thoughts did Nana hold toward sexual minorities? Because I had avoided touching on that topic for the past six years, I had no idea. ...I was afraid. I had come to care for her so much that I was afraid—what if I were rejected?
Nana surely had "never even thought" about such people. If you live a normal life, that is surely the majority. I realized then that she had never imagined that such people existed in society, let alone that one might be close to her.
"You're lying." That reaction was the very first thing that came out of honest Nana.
That was Nana's current feeling toward me.
...I could not accept that.
“————…Just kidding! I’m lying.”
I brightened my expression and laughed.
Glancing at Nana, who looked taken aback, I downed the rest of the wine in my glass.
“J-Joking?”
“Yeah. Because you were giving off such a strong aura that you wanted to come over. I thought you might be put off if I told you it was dangerous because I like women.”
I operated the tablet to choose the next drink. My hand trembled slightly, but I hid it with my body so Nana wouldn't see.
“My place is way too messy, so it’s really impossible today. But… come to think of it, it’s not good to lie like that, is it? Sorry, sorry.”
I felt my mouth running on its own. I could tell my voice was a little high-pitched. No, stay as usual. Look Nana in the eyes and smile. I absolutely must—I have to act just like I always have.
I put the tablet back in its place and turned my gaze back to Nana. Then, without looking away, I stared straight at her.
Nana looked back into my eyes as if to return the gaze—and then, the tension drained from her face.
“——Oh, you were joking? Stop it, you scared me!”
A smile returned to Nana’s face. She tapped my shoulder lightly and said, as if to gently chide me.
“That kind of comment is inappropriate in this day and age! Oh, you startled me.”
The atmosphere softened, and I laughed, saying “Sorry” as I offered another light apology.
A perfect smile, cultivated over many years, one that I was sure even Nana wouldn't see through. The one I couldn't manage well in front of Nana, I was finally able to do just now.
——By wearing the most solid mask of my entire life.
“Wait, Mika, your room is messy? That’s way too surprising.”
“Yeah, it’s a disaster, really. …I didn't want anyone to know.”
I put on a serious expression, placed my index finger to my lips, and pleaded, “Don’t tell anyone.” Nana seemed unsure how to take it for a moment, but then nodded with a serious look, saying, “I understand.”
…I wonder if she thought that was the thing I had been hiding.
As if to signal that the conversation was over, I popped a snack into my mouth. After that, we both spent the rest of Nana’s birthday happily, smiling. But inside my heart, I was caught in a storm the whole time.
I hadn't missed it. Just a moment ago, right before the tension left Nana’s face—for just a split second, she had directed a sharp, appraising gaze at me.
“Someday, I’m gonna make you let me go to your room~”
“Yes, yes. I get it, I get it.”
Watching Nana, whose speech had become slurred as usual, I gave a bitter smile and ordered water on the tablet.
——…I probably will never invite Nana to my room.
As I watched Nana’s fluffy, happy smile, a sense of loneliness spread through my chest.
◇
“Haa… it’s hot…”
Squinting against the stinging sunlight, I glare at its source. That said, no one can beat direct sunlight. I quickly look away and wipe the sweat streaming down my forehead with a handkerchief.
"What do you mean 'lingering summer heat'? This is a heatwave..."
I gulp down the now-lukewarm water from my plastic bottle, my throat clicking as I drink it greedily. Even though I'm on my way home from work and have nothing left to do but go back. Perhaps due to the lingering heat of the day, the temperature around me remained at an unbelievable level.
It has been about three months since Nana's birthday.
Ever since then, the frequency of my contact with Nana had dropped significantly. At first, Nana would reach out to me often, but because of my slow replies, our exchanges over the past week could be counted on one hand.
In truth, I should be acting as I always do, but it ended up like this after all. I feel like I managed to keep up appearances that day, but when I think about having to do that every time I see her, I don't feel like I can. However, if I were to see that reaction of hers right in front of me again, I don't think I could ever recover.
—...Just a little longer. I have to sort out my feelings.
I line up in the queue on the station platform. Everyone looks exhausted and lifeless, perhaps from the heat. I felt a little relieved that the heaviness in my heart seemed to blend in with the state of those around me.
That was when it happened. From a little distance away, I heard a voice that carried far.
"Mika!"
"...Nana."
I am startled and instinctively call her name back. It was Nana. Nana, who works in sales, usually has a later and more irregular schedule than I do, as I mostly do administrative work, so even though we use the same station, we rarely ever run into each other on the platform. ...And yet, of all times, why now?
"I was waiting for you, Mika. I thought you'd be here around this time."
Nana approaches with a light step and a smile. Ah, as I thought, she was waiting for me. I looked away for a moment out of guilt for constantly turning down her invitations, but I immediately turned back to face her, trying to keep up appearances.
"Sorry. I haven't been able to see you much. ...Did you need something?"
I failed to keep up appearances. In my heart, I regret the words I just uttered. It feels like Nana might get angry at me, asking, "Do I need a reason to talk to you?"
However, for some reason, Nana didn't even seem to notice those words and continued the conversation.
"Yeah, actually. There's something I wanted to talk to you about in person, not over email."
Perhaps it's just my imagination, but her cheeks seem flushed and her eyes are sparkling. I thought it was because of the heat and sweat, but I was wrong. This is makeup. Because she looked so different from the usual Nana, I couldn't realize it right away. Her makeup is clearly several shades heavier than usual.
Why would she go to such lengths? Why would she feel the need to appear before someone who just told her the lie—though it's actually the truth—that she "likes women," looking so put together?
...No, it's a misunderstanding. Even as I desperately tell myself that, my heart won't listen. It is definitely not for my sake. The idea that time apart makes you realize your true feelings—there's no such thing as a happy ending like that in reality.
I couldn't tell if my pounding, rapid heartbeat was due to this sweltering heat or the girl in front of me. "Maybe" is impossible. Even though it's impossible, her smile melts the reason that screams at me not to get my hopes up.
I found myself staring at Nana. When she smiled back at me and my heart reached its peak, someone—a man I didn't know—spoke from behind her.
"Nana-san. You're too fast, I can't keep up."
Nana turns around. Looking at her profile, I realized it even before I saw the man.
"I'm sorry. I was in a bit of a rush because I was worried you might leave."
Nana's voice is a tone higher than usual. Besides that, there's an atmosphere about her—like she's trying harder than when she's with me, like she's playing the role of a perfect Nana.
"Mika. Sorry for the suddenness. I wanted to introduce you."
Nana turns back toward me. Over her shoulder, I could see the man.
"This is my colleague, Sasamoto-kun. Actually—we've been dating since yesterday."
At those words, the bustle of the train station platform fades away. I can't hear the announcement of the approaching train, nor the noise of the people around me. Only Nana's happy smile in front of me is burned into my vision, vividly.
—Ah, I really can't reach her after all.
With a roar, the train slides into the platform, shaking the ground. The lukewarm wind dries the tears that had blurred my vision before I even realized it.
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<Epilogue>