[Permanent Archive] What I found after letting go of everything, having once had it all and felt empty
“Why a top salesperson threw it all away”—I have written this series over ten installments.
It is a 20-year story of a hopeless salesman who became the national top, made his family cry, saw his foundation crumble at the peak, threw everything away, and finally arrived at what is truly important.
But ten installments—honestly, that’s a lot, isn’t it? (laughs)
“I’m interested, but reading it all seems like a lot of work.” “I joined halfway through, so I don’t know the beginning.”
For those people, I have compiled it all into this one piece.
The overall flow, in 10 minutes.
And, if you think, “Oh, this installment sounds interesting,” I have included links to each one so you can read from there.
It’s okay to start anywhere. Wherever your heart is moved is your entry point.
Now—let’s begin the 20-year story.
1. Even though I was the national top, I couldn’t write a success story
The story begins with a certain “sense of discomfort.”
I was a pharmaceutical sales representative and the national top. Looking only at the numbers, I was a success.
But—I couldn’t answer, “Why are you selling so well?”I couldn’t.
Even when the company told me to “write a success story,” my hand would stop. All I could write were shallow words like “I stood by the customer...” Deep down, I was always thinking, “No, I don’t even know why I’m selling well myself.”
I was selling well, but I had no confidence. This sense of discomfort was the starting point of my 20-year journey.
▶ Read Part 1
2. When I reduced my working hours, my sales went up
A surprising story from when I started selling well.
When I “reduced” my working hours, my sales “went up.”
The secret was just one question. I stopped asking for “time when we can meet” and started asking for“time when we cannot meet.”By doing that, through the process of elimination, the times when the other person was free would emerge.
What I realized was—it wasn't about the 'amount' of effort, but the 'place' where I put that effort.
However, this efficiency later dragged me into a certain pitfall.
▶ Read Part 2
3. 'You're the only one happy in this house'
The story takes a sudden, dark turn.
While saying it was 'for the sake of my family,' I was actually sacrificing them.
On the night I got my bonus, the happiest moment of my life, I showed my wife the pay stub and she—collapsed in tears like a waterfall.
'Have you ever really looked at your children's faces?' 'You're the only one happy in this house.'
The next morning, on the highway, I couldn't stop crying. I wondered, 'What on earth am I working for?'
▶ Read Part 3
4. 'Have you ever been asked for advice by a junior colleague?'
I failed my promotion exam three times. Even though I was the top salesperson.
Not knowing why, I snapped at my boss, and this was the reply I got.
'Yamada-san—have you ever been asked for advice by a junior colleague?'
—I was speechless. I had pointed out plenty of things. But I had never once been relied upon.
While saying it was 'for the other person's sake,' the subject was always 'myself.' At home and at work, I was repeating the same mistake.
▶ Read Part 4
5. When I taught them the secret to success, they sold even more
Triggered by my boss's words, I started teaching my junior colleagues all of my 'tricks of the trade.'
Honestly, I was scared. Because I thought, 'If I teach them, they'll overtake me.'
But—it was the opposite.
When I shared my methods, my juniors shared theirs, and information started to gather. And then, I became even more successful at sales.
Talent doesn't decrease when you share it. On the contrary, it grows.—That was the moment I learned that firsthand.
▶ Read Part 5
6. "So, you can just go off on a trip all by yourself, can you?"
The peak day of my career as a salesman.
I had won the trip to a medical conference that I had dreamed of, and I went to report it to the doctor who had helped me the most, with a beaming smile on my face.
But the doctor, without even looking at my face—
"Both I and the patients are suffering, yet you can just go off on a trip all by yourself, can you?"
It was a look of utter contempt.
When I got home, I realized it. While I kept saying it was "for the patients," I was only looking at the numbers, only looking at myself. That's what I realized.
▶ Read Part 6
7. I had it all. Yet, the world looked gray.
And then, the deepest valley of the story.
It was the year that my "Dream Notebook," which I had written 10 years ago, was completely filled. I had the position, the annual income, and the family—everything was in place.
—And yet.The world looked gray. to me.
No matter what I did, my heart wouldn't move. I wasn't satisfied. The "more, more" wouldn't stop.
At that time, my wife asked me quietly.
"Where are you aiming for?"
I couldn't answer.
▶ Read Part 7
8. I stepped down from a place where I was guaranteed to win
The company was acquired. If I stayed, I would be secure. My salary and my team would all still be there.
——But I chose to quit.
To be honest, I was terrified. After all, I was voluntarily letting go of the 'winning pattern' I had spent 20 years cultivating.
But even if I stayed in a place where I was guaranteed to win for another 10 years——there was no excitement left there.
I wanted to bet on a 'life decided by myself' rather than a 'guarantee of certain victory'.
▶ Read Part 8
9. It took 20 years, but I finally understood. It wasn't my skills that made me successful
I let go of everything and started from zero. For the first time, I was able to take stock of myself.
And then——the mystery from Part 1 is solved.
I wasn't successful because I was good at sales. The real turning point was the moment I decided to 'make as many patients as possible smile'.
What made me successful wasn't technique, but 'conviction'.
The reason I couldn't write a success story was because——conviction cannot be written in a manual.
▶ Read Part 9
10. Not number one, but the only one
And so, this is where the 20-year story lands.
When I realized I was selling based on conviction, I——stopped competing with others.
My conviction is mine alone. It cannot be compared to anyone else's. Therefore, there is no winning or losing there.
What I should have been aiming for was not to be number one, but to be the only one.
Once I stepped off the leaderboard, the world changed. The people I had seen as competitors now looked like wonderful individuals, each possessing their own unique 'only one' quality.
——After having it all and feeling empty, I let it all go and finally found myself.
This is the conclusion of that story.
▶ Read Part 10 (Final Episode)
11. And, what this story wanted to convey
I took a 20-year detour.
The times I didn't sell. The times I made my family cry. The times I collapsed at the peak. The times I felt empty.
But now, I think this:
There wasn't a single thing that was a waste.
I was hurt, I was down, and I struggled. That is precisely why there are things I can tell you.
——Lastly, let me ask you.
Are you currently pushing yourself too hard trying to be number one?
Are you tired of comparing yourself to others and counting your shortcomings?
You don't have to compete with anyone. Within you, there is definitely an 'only one' that belongs only to you.
When you realize that, you will surely be able to find peace.
If there was any episode that moved you, please let me know in the comments. Your thoughts are my greatest encouragement.
Finally.
Your 'only one' is something you can rarely see for yourself.
I couldn't see mine for 20 years either. That is why I can guarantee this:The things that are so natural to you that you don't notice them are the very things that are incredibly obvious to others.It is my job to help you find them.
That is my job.
Let me help you find your one and only. Step off the leaderboard and find relief. Let's take that first step together.
A 60-minute free session, or even 30 minutes is fine. Please feel free to reach out.
▶️ [60-minute free] Click here to book a dialogue session to unlock your talent
Thank you for staying with me through this long story.