What is your emotional support? A conversation with Mirza, a survivor of the Bosnian War

[Bosnia Travelogue] (11) What is your emotional support? A conversation with Mirza, a survivor of the Bosnian War

The previous article"Visiting the site of the Srebrenica massacre: The tragedy of genocide in Europe" can be found here ↓

After finishing our tour of the Srebrenica Memorial Center, we headed back on the road to Sarajevo.

The journey from Srebrenica to Sarajevo takes about three hours one way.

During that time, I talked with Mirza about many things.

We talked about Bosnian culture, Mirza's time in Italy, coffee, soccer, and so much more that I couldn't possibly cover it all here.

And after the shocking experience in Srebrenica, a question naturally arose in me that I really wanted to ask Mirza.

On the way back, I decided to pluck up the courage and share it with him.

―I was robbed yesterday. (Of course, Mirza already knows about this. Please refer to the article "Getting robbed in Sarajevo. Is this the end of my trip...?" for details.)

I was truly shocked. I never imagined that I would be a victim of violence.

And last night, I suffered from fear and loneliness.

I felt deeply how weak my heart was.

My heart was shaken.

I was devastated by just one unexpected disaster.

I realized painfully that I am far from having a heart that remains unmoved by anything. I feel pathetic.

Mirza, you served in the military and survived the war.

I believe that experience must have been more difficult than I can even imagine.

How did you overcome those hardships?

Was there something that served as your emotional support?

"...Emotional support... I'm sorry... I don't know..."

...However, throughout the war, I kept thinking about 'how to strive'.

No water. No food. No electricity. No money. No work.

A start from zero.

At times like that, your mind starts working. Fully.

To survive, your mind spins at full capacity.

During the war, you cannot even think thirty minutes ahead.

You never know when bullets or shells will fly. You only know what is right in front of you.

However, I became stronger by learning 'how to strive' through the war.

I think I can say that.'

When I heard this answer, I was startled.

And at the same time, I felt deeply ashamed of my own naive thinking.

...Let me confess.

I had been expecting it.

The answer that 'religion became my support'...

Mirza is a Muslim.

So, I thought that perhaps the teachings of Islam or some kind of faith were in his heart even during difficult times.

That is what I had been expecting.

I am a monk. A religious person.

That is why I hoped he would say that religion has value. Even at a time like this...

I couldn't help but feel pathetic. I have no choice but to reflect on myself.

I was naive...

Mirza gained the strength to survive by learning how to strive.

And he told me that this led to his inner strength.

So, what exactly does that power to survive mean? However,

Mirza is certainly right. I do not have the power to survive.

Without infrastructure, I can do nothing. I am completely dependent on tools.

If something were to happen, I probably wouldn't be able to survive...

It is not natural... our way of life.

And one more thing I realized.

I take being alive for granted.

But that is not Mirza's premise.

He was desperately trying to acquire the power to survive in a world where death was the norm.

Living itself was the goal and the joy.

Isn't this the decisive difference?

However, living in peaceful Japan, it is quite difficult to suddenly grasp that reality.

"I am happy just to be alive." If I could live thinking that, how much would my life change?

Listening to Mirza's story, something suddenly crossed my mind.

In Japan, everyone is working hard and suffering right now. For a better life.

But I wonder if that, too, is for the sake of "surviving".

"To survive, one must work, no matter how hard it is."

Isn't this a phrase we hear quite often?

Japanese people, too, work desperately to survive.

However, I feel there is some difference in what Mirza means by "to survive."

Even though it is the same "to survive," why does such a difference arise?

"That is because the weight of what it means to survive is different."

Conflict is something you get caught up in. It is not something you choose.

Surviving in that context is different from surviving in times of peace.

You must think about what it means to survive.

Even in times of peace, you must think in order to survive.

You must think about how you want to live and what you want to do.

What is it that you truly need?

That is the most important thing.

To be satisfied with what you have.

It is a simple thing.

If you have ten, then ten; if you have a hundred, then a hundred. Do not ask for more than that.

If you want a hundred, you will definitely want two hundred next. That will never end."

―Are you saying that we suffer because we seek a hundred when we originally have ten, or because we take having ten for granted?

"That is correct. You must think about what is truly necessary for yourself.

What I learned is a way of life that says, 'That is enough.'"

In today's world, everyone is asking for 'more and more.' But that is not what life is about.

I don't wear a luxury watch. If I had such a thing, it would just get stolen. If I want to know the time, a 100-yen watch is fine.

I don't need a luxury car either. Bad people would try to take it away from me.

Having just what you need is enough. The rest should be given away.

Precisely because I don't have anything, people don't try to take anything from me.

Chasing after material things is not life to me. It strips away one's humanity.

I learned that through the war.

There was no water. No electricity. He had lost his money and his job.

And every day, he lived not knowing when a bullet or shell might fly in.

In the midst of that, Mirza desperately learned how to strive.

He used his head to the fullest to survive.

The wisdom he gained there became Mirza's strength, leading to his emotional support and his stance on life.

Wisdom gained through his own heart and body while trying to survive.

It was not there from the beginning. It was something born in the process of surviving.

It was not that there was something outside of himself that served as salvation.

'If I just have this, my heart will be saved. I can live strongly.'

It is not something that simple.

I learned the harshness of reality. Mirza taught me that.

I had been believing too unconditionally in the role of religion.

No, I had been hoping.

I wanted religion to be something wonderful.

I wanted religion to be something that helps people.

But religion was not omnipotent.

It was my arrogance to think that religion is always useful for everyone.

Of course, the magnitude of religion's role is not something I can discard, and I believe in its importance.

I also know that countless people have been saved by religion.

However, reality is not just that.

There is no such thing as a magic tool that solves everything just by having it.

What you experience with your own heart and body, and what is born from that, is what supports people.

Come to think of it, didn't the Buddha spread his teachings to the world in that very way?

Great religious figures and thinkers also all spread their teachings to the world through their own experiences, heart, and body.

Things born through one's own heart and body.

And how to strive.

I think Mirza taught me something truly important.

I have nothing but heartfelt gratitude.

Thus, my long day visiting Srebrenica came to an end.

Continued

Click here for the next article

Click here for the previous article

Recommended books for those who want to learn more about the Bosnian War are here

"World Travel Journal"A list of articles can be found in this summary article

Related articles