[Reading Parenting] Why "Reading First" Prevents Digital Addiction - What Happened After Organizing the "Order of Encounters"

********************
Discover your own "likes"
Guiding children to love books without forcing them
Proposing "gentle tricks"
********************

Click here for the previous article
・Practiced in our home! How to become a child who can read novels before you know itWhat is "Non-Magic Book Selection"?↓↓↓

*********************************
　Hello to all the dads and moms who want to encourage their children to read. 😊 I am one of them.
　Developing a reading habit before they get hooked on digital devices—learning "reading first" can also help prevent digital addiction.

【Reading Parenting】 Basic Stance & Recommended Articles Click Here
・Are you practicing intuitive understanding? - The moment a child gains true reading ability - ↓↓↓

　・
In the AI era, children should read first right? "Why?" "Well..." Here is the new book that cleared up my confusion on how to explain it ↓↓↓

・Why does "reading picture books aloud" not necessarily lead to a "book-loving elementary student" - How a detour at age 5 or 6 might easily steal their "desire to read" ↓↓↓

　Now, today, I will talk specifically about

　why "reading first" prevents digital addiction, exactly.

　If you don't need the introduction, please skip to (1).
　Feel free to read only the parts you like.

Introduction: Is "reading first" easier later? As one answer to preventing digital addiction

　I have two children (13 and 10 years old), and there are things I consciously raised them with. That is,

　It feels like I organized the "order of encounters" in my children's lives.

　I did it because I, as a book lover, "wanted to do so," but as a result, situations where I could think "thanks to books" arose in various daily scenes,situations where I could think "thanks to books", and it had a positive impact on the parent-child relationship (I prioritize emotional stability over academic ability).

　Perhaps "reading first" has the potential to completely change the atmosphere of a home.

　Putting effort into reading in the early stages of a child's life might be "easier later" (in some respects).

　--I've started to think about things like that.

　As one answer to the problem of children's digital addiction, "loving books first".
　Personally, it makes sense to me.
　We live in an era where everyone will eventually have an intense relationship with digital technology.
　So, for now, train the analog side.
　To become a person who can master smartphones and AI, first polish the "self" and "core".
　I feel it also suits the physiology of children (humans).

　I don't know if this applies to many families, but I would be happy if it could provide even a small hint.

　Now then,

　Why "reading first" prevents digital addiction--let's begin!

****************************************

(1) The devilish "waiting time" becomes reading time

When you're raising children, there's almost always waiting time, isn't there?

Waiting time at a restaurant. Waiting time at a hospital.
There are many times when you can't get an appointment, and haven't you ever waited for two hours at a hospital...? (Waiting at a hospital when the child is relatively healthy is tough, isn't it!)

Even outings where you didn't plan to wait can be unpredictable when you have children with you.

"Hey, are we there yet?" "It'll be just a little longer..."
"Oh, it's our turn, so give back Daddy's smartphone"
"Aw, but I was watching it!"

--Things like this can happen.

■ Establishing "One Book Per Person" for Outings

So, in our home, from the time the children were about five years old until now, we have made it a rule to always leave the house with "one book per person" when the family goes out (though parents don't have the luxury of reading).

A book they are currently reading, a new book, or if they don't have one, a book they enjoy reading over and over.

What, is it heavy? One book in their backpack or similar is something I think a healthy child can handle quite easily, what do you think? (Illustrated encyclopedias are impossible).
My second daughter says, "It's 100 times lighter than a school bag" (laughs).

If it's something like a "novel that they can read for about two hours," that's the best.
But quizzes, spot-the-difference, sticker books, or depending on the child's personality, crossword puzzles or Sudoku are also fine. Basically, any book the child likes (if they can kill time for even an hour, it's a huge success...starting with 15 minutes is fine too).

■ The relief of "It might take a little longer" and "It's okay, I'm reading!"

If there is a reading habit at home, when you are told "There might be a wait, so bring a book from the bookshelf" before going out, the child won't be confused.

With this, even if an unexpected wait occurs while we are out, it has become (not so) scary for our family.

By the way, in the case of "books where pictures are the main focus" like manga, they finish reading one book right away, so they aren't suitable for killing time while out... (you'd need about three books, which would be heavy).

What? You might be thinking, "If you have a smartphone or a portable game console, you can kill time for hours. What are you talking about?"

That's true, that's true, but...

(2) If you give them a "smartphone or game" during waiting time, does the "promise" get messed up?

At first, when my eldest daughter was 5 or 6, I used to show her videos while we were out.

Just a little bit of toy reviews or something harmless, I thought it would be fine...

However, this isn't about the content.
I understood after trying it.

It leads to the habit and awareness that "Mom will show me her smartphone when something happens."

For example, at home
you might be telling your child, "We promised one hour, right!" or "We decided what to do in situations like this, right?"
Yet, when

you are out
and you say something like, "Well, just watch Mom's smartphone," the child will easily see through the parent's inconsistency. Oh, so it's okay. Then why are you so strict at home?

It can become a trigger for promises to become vague . Small accumulations lead to the irresistible habit of 'if you're bored, use a smartphone' .

So, 'paper books for waiting times when out and about.' If you decide on this, it might actually be quite easy.

■ Adults' convenience of 'giving it sometimes and not others' is seen through

It's the same with games,

'Why could I play games the whole time when we went out the other day, but it's only one hour when we're at home?'
'That was because it was waiting time, right?'
'Then give me more waiting time !'

--that's what could happen (laughs).

And also, by handing over a smartphone that you usually keep away from your child while you're out and saying 'watch whatever you like,' you might be providing the trigger. (Parents also 'accidentally' do this when they don't have the energy, right...)

That is the trigger for learning the 'omnipotence of watching videos online '.

■ A sense of omnipotence is a major trigger for 'internet addiction'

The 'rapid expansion of the world' where 'you can choose what you want to see next' and 'it keeps appearing' rapid expansion of the world
.
That too! Next, this too! is something that never exists in TV programs, anime, or movies that parents choose and show.
I thought it would be a major trigger for digital dependency , so I was careful about this too. When they become elementary school students, they are given one computer per person to learn ICT , but digital dependency at home is a different issue
. It's an era where e-sports are also popular, but dependency in early childhood is a different issue.
When you really have to, it might be best to always have the parent operate it and tell them 'children can't use it'.

--So, like this, if the habit of 'paper books for waiting times when out' is already formed, it might become easier to avoid the trigger for digital dependency in children, was the story.

(3) 'Regulations' and 'promises' are important, but...

■ After 'stop using smartphones and games,' does the child have anything fun to do?

'Parental control' , I think many people have heard this term.

When children use digital devices, parents place restrictions on them, right? There are various details, but I have thoughts about this 'time limit'.

That is, the time after it becomes 'stop using your smartphone' or 'your game time is over,' what will the child do
? That is the question.

Children who have many things they want to do are fine .
Or, in the case of children who are busy with cram school, club activities, or lessons, they might come home, take a bath, eat dinner, enjoy a little bit of games or videos, and then be out like a light (an outdated term, haha).

Then that's fine.

Children who like making things like pictures, puzzles, crafts, or needlework, or who have subjects they want to research or explore, like sports or music—those kinds of kids might be strong.

However, there are also children who are not like that.

■ Reading is the 'Ultimate Way to Kill Time' with a Wide Appeal

What do children who 'have nothing to do' do once their homework and preparations for tomorrow are finished?

Do you tell them to study more?

But having time to spend in their own way is also important. If playing games and watching videos are the biggest 'home entertainment' they learned in early childhood,

they might be at a loss for how to spend their 'other' time if those are restricted.

If it was their 'favorite' or 'only' hobby, it's painful for the child when they are told to stop, isn't it? That's why I think they resist.

However, it's a different story if they have other things they like.

(4) Having 'casual ways to kill time' other than smartphones and games makes the heart lighter

'Being able to read books casually' is something I really think is truly amazing. I'm bored, so I guess I'll read a book. I guess I'll read the rest of that before I go to sleep.




That is a rich choice for a child, too. If they feel like it, they can even borrow books from the library. It's even more fun if they know their favorite genres and preferences. Reading isn't just a 'hobby for the wise,' but

it is the 'ultimate way to kill time with a wide appeal'


that offers levels and genres suited to each person. Just by getting a little used to it, you can make it casual entertainment. Personally, I wonder if there is even a genre that 'books' don't cover.

That's why I think becoming a 'child who can enjoy their own time at home'
is more important than 'restrictions'
(though parental controls are necessary).

—So, this is an example from our home where, as a result of making our child a 'book lover first,' it became harder for 'parent-child battles' over smartphone and game time to arise (I won't say they don't happen at all).

I also think that the 'likes' found within books are likely to lead to each person's essential satisfaction! Please take a look at this too if you'd like. [Reading-Based Parenting] Series ・If you'd like, I hope you try this with your child:


repeating the 'choose 3 out of 10 books' method, which reveals not just 'favorite books' but 'the essence of what they like'↓↓↓

(5) Feeling at ease because you "know what they are doing"

This might be a slightly different topic from "preventing digital addiction".

However, when parents see their children engrossed in their smartphones, isn't the reason they get frustrated actually because they "don't know what they are doing"?

Are they watching nothing but trashy videos (that parents wouldn't want them to see)?
Are they connecting with strange people?

--That is the kind of anxiety that arises.

They might just be having fun chatting with friends on LINE, or perhaps they are just looking at the "fashion of the day" of their favorite celebrity.

But, you feel uneasy because you don't know what's going on, right? It's the same in our house!

■ Paper books are wonderful because they have "just that function"

I think paper books are wonderful because they have "just that function."
If a child is reading, it is neither more nor less than that.
It doesn't have to be content that will raise their test scores.
The fact that they are enjoying reading is what's good (My eldest daughter's current favorite book is "The Apothecary Diaries" by Natsu Hyuuga. It is such a substantial read that I wonder why it's called a light novel... the human relationships are incredibly complex).

Paper books don't send SNS notifications.
That also leads to being able to concentrate on just that.

(6) Children who read books can easily understand digital media objectively

Once reading skills are developed, children become sensitive to information like "vaguely strange expressions" or "people who are obviously suspicious" (laughs) that kind of thing.

This might be the same for adults.

Of course, not all paper books are necessarily credible, and there is plenty of reliable information on the internet. By the way, noto articles have a lot to teach, and I myself have recently been feeling "the sense of presence of people living in the now"!

However, it is also a characteristic of the internet that it is overflowing with unidentified information and terrible language. Even if there is something we want to think about together with our child, like "Isn't this a bit strange?" to prevent them from having dangerous or sad experiences.

■ Paper books as "comparison material" for suspicious information

Children who are used to the text in paper books might find it easier to realize, "Indeed... that's a bit suspicious."

To give an easy-to-understand example,

--Between these two, (2) is overwhelmingly more reliable at this moment.

At the very least, (1) is not something to be believed easily, right?
For children who have the realization that information sources like (2) exist in the world as a basis for that, it is easier to explain the suspicious nature of (1). I would like to

practice thinking about "information" in that way, such as who wrote it and for what purpose, whether it passed through the eyes of multiple people, and how it spread into the world.

Of course, not everyone has to be a book lover.
But when an adult seriously tries to convey something,
a child who can engage with a single bookis
highly likely to be able to engage with someone's serious talk as well.

(7) You can explain smartphones and the internet using 'paper books'

When I was living alone in my younger days, I received a postcard from my father back home. When I looked at it wondering what it was, it said, "This is Dad's new mobile phone: 090-0000-0000" with the number written on it.

What is that? (laughs)

Putting my father's clumsiness aside, daring to use paper to teach about digital thingsis actually quite a good idea, I think.

There are many books that make you think, "This is it!"

These are some of the books I reread or bought new when I gave my eldest daughter, now in her second year of junior high, her first smartphone last year.

Among them, as a book I wanted the child herself to read,

"The Internet Becomes Your Strongest Partner: Internet/Smartphone Strategy Guide" (Author: Soichiro Yamazaki / Supervisor: Daisuke Fujikawa / Manga: Naya Kaya / Kodansha / 1400 yen excluding tax) was wonderful, so I presented it to my daughter.

When I said, "If you read this and promise to use your smartphone wisely like this," I might consider getting one for you," she read it (of course she would). When books (text) can be read easily, the amount and quality of information the child themselves can obtainchanges.

For what it's worth, there is a story about this time, so I would be happy if those interested would read it.

・Even Jobs didn't give his children smartphones early on...! A story about how I realized the importance of a 'foundation of reading' all over again when my first-year junior high daughter got a smartphone↓↓↓

Books written clearly from a professional perspective are sometimes more persuasive than a parent's words (sorry), and the latest information at that point in time is organized. I feel like there's no reason not to make this a strong ally in parenting!

By the way, in our house, sex education and even the fundamental question of "What is the internet?" were conveyed at an early stage while relying on "paper books." If you don't force it and just put it on the bookshelf saying, "Read it if you'd like," there's a high chance a child with a reading habit will pick it up (

at their own timing ← this is important, making them think they chose it themselves).

(8) When a child becomes someone who 'understands through words,' parent-child conversation also becomes smoother

One of the things that troubles parents when children are immersed in games or smartphones is, "No matter how much I say, they don't listen," "Are my words even reaching them?" You might suddenly feel a distance. I'm not an expert in anything, so this is just my own parenting experience, but I think there are

broadly two types of "not listening when told"... (it's not just a problem with digital devices).

(1) varies from child to child, so let's set that aside for today (laughs), the problem is (2), isn't it? (Is it really?)

How should I put it,

--I think that as a result of these repeated experiences, children grow into 'children who are easy to communicate with through words' at an early stage.

Thinking about it that way, being a 'book lover' from early childhood might lead to building those skills without even realizing it.

Of course,

Not 'a child who listens well to their parents' but

'a child who understands what their parents say but thinks differently themselves!'

--it's good to become that kind of child. Yes, that's exactly right (laughs).

By the way,

once they reach elementary school, a child's world expands, and I think there are more opportunities as a parent to 'explain things'. Especially when my second daughter was in first grade, I talked to her about many things.

For example,

'Things happening in society'
'Things that might happen around us'
'The weekend plans will probably look like this'
'Sorry, Mommy ate your snack'

...At times like this (laughs),

even if I spoke in long sentences like, 'That happens, then this happens, so this might happen, and then this will happen... can you picture it?'

strangely, the number of times she would understand by saying, '...Yeah, I get it,' increased.

'There was a story like that in a book, too,'
she would even reply (she was angry about the snack incident).

Even if I asked her days later, 'Do you remember that story?' she could explain it in her own words, saying, 'Yeah, it was about this.'

It might be age-related growth, but the vocabulary and memory she definitely acquired were things I felt were 'thanks to books.'

And I also felt this.

That she was gradually becoming a person different from her parents...

■ The possibility that it changes depending on whether 'words' or 'images' are the foundation

In any case, I think that if words are familiar and you have a certain level of vocabulary, you are less likely to be swallowed up by the overflow of visual information.

I often hear things like, 'Their language suddenly got worse... it might be the influence of videos or games,' but this might also depend on whether 'the language of paper books' is the foundation for that child.

Even if they use words that make you think 'Huh?' temporarily due to trends or just messing around, if the foundation is solid, it won't be easily shaken.

The language in paper books has underlying strength, doesn't it?

I intend to write a separate article about this eventually.

*************************************

--How was it?

I feel there are still so many benefits to 'Reading First' that I couldn't write about, but that's all for today.

In all seriousness, the Ministry of Education, Culture, Sports, Science and Technology should be putting effort into children's reading activities, and I feel it is a theme for society as a whole, but as a realistic parenting experience, children's surroundings are full of 'videos and games'. It's just... well.

Thank you so much for reading 😊
I hope I was able to convey something, even if it was just a little.

I hope you all have wonderful reading time and happy parent-child time through books ✨

************
Children feel books are close
Pick them up and get excited reading
For that, it really has to be paper books
You can even sleep together
************

*************************************

・This is my [Self-Introduction]↓↓↓

There are other [Reading-Based Parenting] series, so please feel free to check them out! I have also compiled them in a magazine called
[Gentle Tricks to Guide Children to Love Books]↓↓↓

[Reading-Based Parenting] Series
・Why 'reading picture books aloud' does not necessarily lead to 'book-loving elementary school students'—The detours of 5 and 6-year-olds might easily take away their 'desire to read'↓↓↓

[Reading-Based Parenting] Series
・There is a miracle that only happens by 'buying' books—Even if you borrow them at first, the amazing effect of 'buying if you like it' and 'having it at home'↓↓↓

[Reading-Based Parenting] Series
・The reason why it makes me sad that even if there are plans to revitalize bookstores, calculating backward shows that children's 'early digital immersion' is reducing customers 10 years from now...↓↓↓

[Reading-Based Parenting] Series
・Something I want you to believe above all else: To moms and dads who wish 'I'm not good at it myself, but I want my child to read...'↓↓↓

・[Reading-Based Parenting/Essay] The day I realized what I could do as someone standing in between↓↓↓