[Part 3] Why the person 'doesn't think it's a lie': The true nature of the discomfort lies here

Hello everyone!
I am a behavioral psychologist.

In [Part 1], we looked at the beginning of discomfort, noting that it appears in the 'first 0.5 seconds'.

In [Part 2], we looked at the structure of that discomfort, noting that 'the narrative begins to align' after the discomfort occurs.

And, those of you who have read this far are probably thinking this:

Here, I will tell you one thing.

That is 'not the essence'.

The essence I want to convey to you this time is 'why the person themselves thinks they are right'.

Unless you understand this, no matter how much knowledge you have, you cannot see through a lie.

This time, we will look at that 'core'.

⚠️Caution⚠️

The gestures introduced here are not 'proof that someone is definitely lying', but rather examples of signs that may reveal true feelings.

In the research of psychologist Paul Ekman, it is stated that basic facial expressions such as anger, joy, sadness, fear, surprise, and disgust are universally recognized across cultures. In other words, 'facial expressions and gestures are clues common to all humanity'.

Symbolically speaking, it can also be expressed as 'the truth is etched on everyone's face'.

However, please do not forget that the goal is not to 'suspect the other person', but rather a form of 'hospitality' to understand them and lead to better communication, and that sincerity is important.

1. The true nature of discomfort is a 'gap'

Here, we return to [Part 1] and [Part 2].

In [Part 1], I explained the 'gap in the order of emotions', and

In [Part 2], I explained the 'structure where information continues to increase'.

At first glance, they look like different topics, but they are actually the same phenomenon.

That connects to the gap between the 'internal story' and 'reality'.

When people try to stick to a lie, they are usually not telling the facts themselves, but rather 'the reality as they understand it'.

And when that interpretation deviates from reality, it manifests as a sense of discomfort.

This is where it connects to [Part 1].

That '0.5-second sense of discomfort' is the 'first leak of the lie' caused by this gap.

2. Why do people try to protect their story?

So why does this gap continue to widen?

This is where it connects to [Part 2].

The answer is 'to maintain consistency' in the story.

In psychology, it is believed that people feel strong discomfort when in a contradictory state (cognitive dissonance). (Festinger, 1957)

In other words, even if you think 'I am right,' it 'does not align with reality'.

At this point, people modify the 'overall story' rather than reality.

As a result,

• reasons increase

• explanations increase

• information increases

And they 'tidy up' the story.

However, the reality is,

• it is not being tidied up

• They are simply 'continuing to supplement'

that is all.

This is the true nature of Chaff & Scatter.

In other words, by increasing the amount of information (noise), they disperse awareness away from the essential problem.

As a result, the brain of the person being told something eventually falls under the illusion that the other person's story is persuasive and has increased credibility.

3. The brain chooses 'consistency' rather than 'correctness'

Here, we return once again to the 'brain talk' from [Part 1].

When a person is surprised, the brain normally functions like this:

Stimulus

• Amygdala (emotion)

• Autonomic nervous response

• Prefrontal cortex (meaning-making)

In other words, it should flow from 'emotion to language'.

This has been confirmed neuroscientifically. (LeDoux, 1996)

However, in cases like this one, it is flowing from 'language to emotion'.

In other words,

• the prefrontal cortex creates a story first

• and then 'adjusts' the emotions to match it

What is important here is that,

• the brain is not judging whether something is 'correct' or not

• Prioritizing whether the story is 'consistent'

is the point.

Furthermore, neuroscience has shown that decision-making is strongly dependent on emotions and physical states. (Damasio, 1994)

In other words, once you feel that 'this story is correct,' you are a creature that

• selects only the information that fits it

• and excludes information that does not fit

on your own.

Here, everything connects.

• Discomfort (Part 1)

• Increased information (Part 2)

• Self-justification (Part 3)

Everything is the 'brain's function to maintain consistency'; this is its true nature.

Therefore, the essence is not whether the person is lying, but rather the structure upon which the story is being told.

Application

Daily life

Look at 'what they are trying to protect' rather than 'whether it is correct.'

Company

When explanations increase, consider the possibility that 'consistency maintenance' is occurring.

Lover

Sense the structural 'discrepancies' in the story rather than the words themselves.

Sources

• Festinger, L. (1957) 'A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance'

• LeDoux, J. (1996) 'The Emotional Brain'

• Damasio, A. (1994) 'Descartes’ Error'

• Ekman, P. (2003) 'Emotions Revealed'

• Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. (1978) 'Facial Action Coding System'

• Navarro, J. (2008) 'What Every BODY is Saying'

• Hughes, C. (2015) 'The Ellipsis Manual'

Summary

The most important thing I wanted to convey in this series is not 'how to spot a lie'.

It is 'how people create their own internal reality'.

People are not telling facts; they are telling a 'convincing story'.

And when that story is about to collapse,

• emotions become misaligned,

• explanations increase,

• and a sense of discomfort is born.

This is the true nature of what we discussed.

Finally, just one more thing.

Discomfort is not a 'weapon for suspicion,' but an 'entrance for understanding'.

By adopting this perspective, communication should shift from 'verbal attacks' to 'understanding the other person'.

In conclusion

Thank you for reading this far!
Your 'likes' and follows are a great source of encouragement.
If you found this even a little bit helpful or interesting, please consider giving it a 'like' or following me.🙇‍♂️

Please also consider email consultations

If you have

• behavioral psychology

• reading gestures

• interpersonal relationships

• communication

or other questions,

please consider an email consultation.I will do my best to respond carefully within my capabilities.

I will do my best to respond carefully within my capabilities.

Magazine

Here are the magazines I have participated in!
I am truly grateful, and I look forward to continuing these connections!🙇

Also, this article was featured, so please take a look.🙇

Here are some others!

The 'I remember...' series is a five-part work, so if you'd like, it's easier to understand if you read it from the beginning.

This is also recommended!

Please check this out too!

For those who want to learn more, deepen their understanding of reading gestures, and study diagrams and case-specific responses, please see the paid articles.👇

*Recommended for those who want to correctly understand gestures, reduce misunderstandings, and engage in dialogue that utilizes 'hospitality' and 'sincerity'.

Also, everyone, please take care of your health and well-being.

See you later!!!