The step from 'having nothing' to 'having something' is a joy — When 'being given' becomes the norm, the heart becomes impoverished

I have been thinking a lot lately about the 'poverty of the heart'—a form of invisible poverty.
I wonder if poverty of the heart is not determined solely by whether one has money or not. In Japanese society,



one of the reasons why the heart becomes impoverished is...

that we become accustomed to being given things, and then feel lost when we are no longer given them.
I think that is it.

Easily obtained.

Easily received.

Easily experienced.

Jam and detergent delivered to nursery schools through corporate donations. Workplace experience programs at free event spaces. Free children's cafeterias. Before you know it,

'being given things' has become a part of daily life.

Instead of using one's own strength, one is given things by someone else.

That someone could be parents, relatives, the government, or a company.

What is given is not just money or goods.
Sometimes, before we realize it, we end up 'entrusting' our thoughts, our way of thinking, and even our way of life to others.

Since people cannot live alone, it is natural to have support.

However, once you become accustomed to 'being given things,'

the sense of loss when you no longer have them becomes greater.

You lose the ability to know how to stand on your own.

Your dissatisfaction when you are not given things grows.

That may be what leads to poverty of the heart.

For example, food, clothing, and shelter.
All are essential for living, but even among them, there is a wide range of quality.

As the saying goes, 'Half a tatami mat to sit, one to sleep,' perhaps the bare minimum is satisfied as long as you have a place to sleep.

The same goes for meals.
If you embrace extreme frugality, even just rice and pickles are enough.

As for clothes, whether they are hand-me-downs or have holes in them,
it is fine as long as you can wear them and keep out the cold.

But—
is there any joy in living within that 'bare minimum'?

In an era when everyone had similar things,feelings like 'envy' or 'looking down on others' were surely rare.I suppose there were fewer such emotions.

I imagine we didn't have to worry about each other's appearance or belongings.

The step from 'not having' to 'having' is a joy, but the sense of loss when 'what you had is gone' is profound. I suppose there are those who can move past that, and those who cannot.

Learning is the same.
Compulsory education, cram schools, private tutors, higher education. There are many forms of learning, and it is completely different whether you are 'forced to do it' or

'learning for yourself'.

'Just go to university for now.'
'There's no money for further education, so go to work.'

Both of these phrases are often heard.

I believe that when someone thinks 'I want to do this,' being able to trust that feeling and let them experience it
is what leads to true
'richness'.

Meaningless schools or choosing a path based solely on deviation scores.
Because parents dictate the 'meaning of going' for their children, they become unable to fail.

I think learning can be much freer. Because interests are completely different from person to person.

Parents deciding their child's marriage partner—I still hear stories like that, but even if they end up divorced or take a long detour, that is also life.

Rather than labeling it a 'failure,' accepting it as an 'experience' is surely richer. I myself once desperately told my mother,



'Why don't you believe in me?' 'Let me experience it.' Until I was in high school, I lived by
treating my mother's words as 'the truth'. Perhaps my family environment left me with no choice but to think my mother's words were 'the truth'.

But one day, my mother said to me,
"You're just repeating things you've heard from me without having experienced them yourself."

When I heard those words, a feeling of unease stirred deep in my chest.
—You won't let me experience things, yet you blame me for not having experienced them?

From that point on,starting to ask "Why?"feels like what led to my current way of thinking.

That might be why I want my son to experience as much as possible now.

Japan is clean and orderly,

a country where many people can say, "This is enough." The hygiene standards are particularly wonderful.

I also went abroad and realized that my old rented house was actually "not so bad."

If I hadn't gone abroad, I might havedragged my past poverty along and remained unfulfilled somewhere in my heart.That is how much
"not knowing" narrows one's perspective.

I remember what I felt during my university days.

The amount of a scholarship—the weight one carries differs from person to person.

Some can get by without borrowing, while for others, borrowing even a little makes their heart feel heavy.

"Just a little bit poor"

That might actually be the most painful state of all.

Being able to go to university "for the time being," or

Receiving an allowance,

Growing up in an environment where someone decides everything for you,

might make it easier to feel 'poor' even with the slightest change.

Getting used to having things.

Becoming unable to bear it when they are gone.

I find that scary.

That is why I teach my son to'think and do things for himself'as much as possible.

Even if people around me say, 'It's too early,'

he should do things for himself.

'Life has many ups and downs. Think for yourself.'

Of course, when he wants to be spoiled or feels lonely,

I give him a tight hug.

But I generally don't do things for him when he says, 'Mom, do this for me.'

Getting ready for nursery school, changing clothes, brushing teeth.

I try to gently lend a hand only with the parts he truly cannot do at his stage of development.

My husband also, regarding things our son can understand,

scolds him firmly.

Our son already knows a provided life of food, clothing, and shelter. He knows this.

When he can no longer use these,

he will think, 'Let's work hard so we can buy them again,' or

will he feel envious of 'those who have'?

As a parent, I hope I can guide his way of life.

I remember the words my uncle once said.

'You're living a good life.'

Things you were able to do, you can no longer do.

Things you were able to buy, you can no longer buy.

Rather than comparing yourself to others,

when you compare yourself to your own past,

feelings of frustration or bitterness may arise.

And,even when you see someone you once looked down upon living a better life than you—
it stirs something deep within your heart.

'Spare the rod and spoil the child' (lit. 'Send a beloved child on a journey')

'Cast them into the deep valley' (lit. 'Throw them into a thousand-fathom valley')

These sayings teach us the importance ofdeliberately placing children in challenging environments.

I believe that within that,there is the strength and resolve of a parent who watches over them.exists.

Protecting them and letting them take on challenges.

Finding that balance might be the most difficult thing of all.

Broadening your perspective liberates your heart.



Not leaving what you don't know as unknown, but trying to learn it.
Listening to the words of others.



That may be the first step toward enriching your heart.