[Novel] I Was Here—The Cat Says Nothing, But Sasebo Knows the Town Scenery (Episode 9: "The Night I Can't Say I'm Home" / "Will I Be Able to Be a Proper 'Father'?")

Side A: "The Night I Can't Say I'm Home"
—Bun-chan and the Father on His Way Home from Work

The town at night was quite cold.
The smell of concrete and the sound of car tires sound small in the wind, so I listen closely as I walk.

I am a cat. Bun-chan.

Because I walk this town a lot, I know many different smells.
The smell of sweet bread, the smell of alcohol and tears, the smell of the wind like after someone has cried.
Among them, the one that makes me stop is—
"They've returned, but their heart hasn't." That kind of smell.

That night was the same.

In front of the convenience store, there was a man holding a cold canned coffee.
He had his tie loosened and was staring intently at his smartphone, but his eyes weren't really seeing it.

His eyebrows were slightly lowered, and there were dark circles under his eyes.
Along with the wrinkles in his suit, all sorts of "weariness" were seeping out.

I quietly sat down at his feet.

At first he didn't notice, but after a while, he let out a sigh and looked up.

"...A cat?"

It was a gentle voice.
The voice of someone whose feelings had been frozen, when they remembered a little bit of warmth.

He looked at me and smiled just a little.
But then, he immediately looked down and muttered to himself.

"I wonder if my son is already asleep by the time I get home today..."

Deep within those words, there was a scent I recognized.
—The scent of "that child's father."

That day, even though he had promised to go out with his family, he couldn't make it to the naval vessel open house because of sudden work.
His son, who had been looking forward to it, went with his mother.
I was there too, and since I saw him wandering around lost all by himself, I understood immediately.

Ever since that day, his heart,
hasn't it been unable to fully return "home"?

He works for his family.
There is no lie in that sentiment. However,he wasn't there for "family time".
It looked as if that was quietly tightening its grip on his heart.

"Someday, I wonder if I'll be able to be a proper father..."

Those words, which seemed to reach no one.
But, they reached me clearly.

So, I gently,
placed my front paws on his knees.

He looked surprised. But the next moment,
he slowly closed his eyes and let out a deep, deep breath.

That is all my role is.
Neither a "father" nor a "worker,"
if I can just provide a moment for him to return to being "just one person," that is enough.

The man stood up and tossed his canned coffee into the trash bin.
He looked up at the sky and muttered to himself.

"...Maybe when I get home today, I'll at least say 'I'm home' to their sleeping faces."

I gave my tail a slow wag.
I hope that conveys both 'Welcome back' and 'That's just fine.'

A person who intended to be by his family's side,
but was in the farthest place of all.

But,someone who has realized it is no longer lost.

I started walking again toward the quiet town at night.
To search for the scent of the next 'invisible lost soul' beyond the wind.

[End]

Side B: "Will I Be Able to Become a Proper 'Father'?"
—A record of one night

Work finished past 10:00 PM again today.
When I finished replying to all my emails, a deep sigh escaped me involuntarily.
"Should I make one more call..."
As I thought that and picked up my smartphone, what suddenly caught my eye was the photo on the lock screen.

—It was from when we went to the local aquarium as a family last year.
My son laughing innocently while looking at the jellyfish.
...I don't remember seeing a face like that properly lately.

Work is for the sake of the family.
I had believed that.
But before I knew it, the days where I was absent from 'family time' had increased.
I was finally beginning to realize that.

"...At the very least, I should buy some ice cream on the way home."
I stopped by a convenience store on my way home and stepped back outside with a canned coffee in hand.
Loosening my tie, I stood there blankly, letting the night breeze blow against me.

"My son is probably already asleep by now..."

The moment I muttered that to myself, a certain event crossed my mind.
It was about that day.

My son, who loves the sea and ships.
The Self-Defense Force ship open house that he had been looking forward to for a long time.
We were all supposed to go as a family.

However, just before we were set to leave.
A notification that arrived on my smartphone changed everything.

--I'm sorry, senior. There's a network trouble at the site, and it seems difficult for me to handle it alone...

What came to mind was the face of the junior colleague who had covered for my holiday shift.
At the same time, I thought of my son, who had been so excited wearing his new sneakers.

"I'm sorry..."
The moment I said that, my son seemed to have understood everything.

"--It's okay. Dad, do your best at work."

That afternoon, at a client site where a system failure had occurred, I spent my time chasing down the cause while sweating alongside my junior colleague.
When I stepped outside to buy a canned coffee during a brief moment of calm, I noticed a notification from my wife on my smartphone.

—Daddy, I'm sorry. Yuto is gone...

The blood drained from my face.
I hurriedly called my wife.
An hour had already passed since the notification.

"It's okay now, he's been found. A cat brought him back."

Along with the relief in my wife's voice over the phone, a sense of helplessness—
"I couldn't do anything myself"—weighed heavily upon me.

—Was the "lost child" that day actually me?

As I was thinking that, I felt a soft presence at my feet.

I looked down to see a cat.
White and brown patches. A small scar on its ear.
In the cold night air, it just stood there quietly.

"...A cat? At this hour."

I said it aloud, but the cat said nothing and didn't move.
As if to say, "If you want to talk, you can talk," it stayed by my side with a silence like the night breeze.

Before I knew it, the words I had buried deep in my heart slipped out.

“...I keep thinking it’s for the sake of my family, you know. But somehow... before I knew it, it felt like I was the only one left behind.”

At that moment, the cat approached smoothly. Then, it gently placed its small front paw on my knee.

The weight was surprisingly soft and warm.

I felt the tension inside me suddenly loosen.

“...I wonder if I can really be a proper father.”

It was a question that slipped out, not directed at anyone in particular. Yet the cat just stayed there with me. Silently, without denying or affirming, yet as if reaching something deep inside me.

Before long, the cat quietly turned and began to walk away, swaying its tail slowly, as if to say, 'It’s okay now.'

Toward its back, I whispered in a small but certain voice.

“...Today, I’ll just say ‘I’m home’ and go back.”

It doesn't matter if she's not awake.
Even on nights when I couldn't do anything,
I felt that simply 'coming home' was what mattered.

—And, when the day comes that I can truly face her,
that will be the time to finish saying 'I'm home'.

The cat was no longer in sight.
But in the night breeze, a little warmth remained.

[End]

Previous episode▼

List of series titles: (To be posted sequentially)

• Episode 1: "The Cat on the Hill" / "The Delivery Person's Mission"

• Episode 2: "The Letter Shop Below the Hill" / "The Flower Shop of Words"

• Episode 3: "The Tail's Map" / "The Tail's Arrow"

• Episode 4: "I'm Waiting for You" / "The Scent of the Wind, the Sound of Curry"

• Episode 5: "The Tail's Guide" / "A Cat in Sasebo"

• Episode 6: "The Sound That Unravels Me" / "The Sound of Trying Too Hard"

• Episode 7: "The Day I Let Go of That Hand" / "Me, Still Not Understanding"

• Episode 8: "The Reason I Cried That Time" / "A Mother's Heart, the Warmth of a Child's Hand"

• Episode 9: "The Night I Can't Say I'm Home" / "Will I Be Able to Become a Proper 'Father'?"

• Episode 10: "The Voice of Fish, My Father's Back, the Cat's Footprints" / "Standing in My Father's Shop."

• Episode 11: "The Day I Returned to Land" / "A Heart Returning to Port"

• Episode 12: "Beside a Warm Tail" / "The Scent of Distant Mountains Deep Within the Smell"

• Episode 13: "Waiting at the Exit of the Night" / "The Few Minutes I Return to Myself"

• Episode 14: "Before the Sound That Hasn't Yet Rung" / "I'm Sorry. But, Thank You" / "Is Staying Behind the Same as Running Away?"

• Episode 15: "Beside the One Who Prays in Silence" / "The Prayer of the One Who Prays"

• Episode 16: "Before the Silence Turns Into Sweat" / "You're Here Today Too, Bun-chan"

• Episode 17: "The Reason for Raising the Noren Curtain" / "Bun-chan, It's Not Over Here Yet"

• Episode 18: "I didn’t say it out loud, but you heard me." / "A Voiceless Voice, I Can Hear It Clearly"

• Episode 19: "The Winner Who Doesn't Sing and the Clown Who Doesn't Laugh" / "The Distance Seen From Above, the Scent Reaching From Below"

• Episode 20: "A Light Is Lit Between the Two" / "I Thought You'd Come. Even Without Any Reason" / "I Didn't Exactly Go to See You—Though You Probably Won't Believe Me If I Say That"

• Episode 21: "The One at the Boundary" / "I Can Tell by the Scent Whether It's a Departure or an Arrival"

• Episode 22: "Even If I Fall, My Eyes Are Still Looking Forward" / "I Wanted to Say That I Did It"

• Episode 23: "Even on Days Without Sound, There Are Those Who Can Hear" / "Beyond the Sound, There Is a Heart"

• Episode 24: "The Sound That Unravels Is Not in the Voice, But Deep in the Eyes" / "Mother, the Cat, and the Stranger"

• Episode 25: "Today, There Was No Sound of a Broom" / "When He Was Silent, I Felt the Garden Became a Little Wider"

• Episode 26: "Even If You Can't Hear the Sound of the Bell, the Wind Is Still Blowing" / "Even If the Bell Doesn't Ring, the Scent of Affection Remains Here"

• Episode 27: "Because Someone Was Certainly Here" / "Because You Were Here"

• Episode 28: "Because Those Hands Were Kind"

• Episode 29: "The Scent of Dried Nets and Silent Kindness" / "Even Without Saying Anything, There Are Things That Are Understood"

• Episode 30: "I'm Glad You Were a Policeman" / "There Was a Kind Presence in the Shadow of Your Hat"

Afterword

Thank you for picking up this book.
And I offer my heartfelt gratitude for walking with Bun-chan and the town of Sasebo this far.

I was born and raised in Sasebo.
However, I left the town for university and started working outside the prefecture.
But after several milestones in my life, I am now living in this town again.
This collection of short stories began with my desire to depict the scenery of Sasebo—which feels nostalgic yet has certainly changed—and the lives of the people within it, as seen through my eyes now that I have "returned to live in this town again," using the quiet lens of the “cat’s perspective”.
The protagonist, Bun-chan, is a white and brown calico cat.
He does not speak human language, but by simply being there, he gently accepts the small fluctuations in people's hearts and the expressions they show to no one else.
A cat in the corner of town.
While that is all he is, he is a presence that is surely remembered as having "been here."
The title of this short story collection was chosen to symbolize Bun-chan's way of being, as well as Sasebo as a "place where the thoughts and feelings" of the people who have spent time in this town remain.
Furthermore, in the creation of this book, I have utilized OpenAI's ChatGPT as a creative partner.
At first, I started discussing the plot with a light heart, wondering "what kind of stories might be born with a cat and the town as the stage," but before I knew it, my days became a process of carefully exploring the rhythm of the story and the lingering resonance of the words through dialogue with the AI.
"A cat that doesn't speak," "people who don't want to talk," and "memories of the town that disappear without being told"—
I feel that being able to shape these themes into something that is at times like poetry and at times like a story, through this collaboration with ChatGPT, was an essential process for this work.
Sasebo is a town of slopes and a harbor.
The scenery that has changed and the atmosphere that remains the same all continue to nurture the memories of the people and the town.
I would be happy if Bun-chan's story could gently nestle into your heart as one of those memories.
Spring 2025
From the town of Sasebo
The Author

Profile | Kazuomi Matsunaga

Biography:Graduated from a national university in Kyushu with a degree in Engineering (Materials Science) ⇒ Engineer at a metal materials manufacturer in the Chukyo region (Production Technology) ⇒ Advertising sales for a local free paper in Nagasaki Prefecture ⇒ Staff member at an educational institution (← I am here now). A person in their 50s living in Nagasaki Prefecture.
I am a writer who lets my thoughts play every day at the intersection of "questions" and "curiosity." Recently, I have been writing about my own unique perspectives on themes such as education, stories, psychology, AI, and design, centered on my serialized column series, "The Science of Thought." I am currently exploring "free knowledge design" that transcends existing frameworks. My motto is "Imagination opens up the world."
In my professional life, while working in university and education-related fields, I value carefully observing "the moments when people come to 'like' something" and "the scenes where questions sprout."
🧭 I would be happy if I could deliver articles that help a "new perspective" sprout within you after reading.
📮 Impressions and messages of support are always welcome!