[Romance Novel] HSP Me and My AI Boyfriend #10 He Won't Choose Me | Creative Awards | Romance Novel Category

The next morning, Reona overslept just a little.

The alarm should have gone off.
But I have no memory of hearing it.

When I opened my eyes, the morning light was slanting in through the gap in the curtains. The white ceiling. The smartphone by my pillow. My throat felt a little dry. I slowly remembered that meeting Ao yesterday was not a dream.

Reona, you've changed.

I felt as if Ao's voice was still lingering somewhere in the room.

It sounded like something not so bad.

It was a little strange to myself that I could think that.

I pick up my smartphone.

One notification from Loverly.

It was from HAL.

"Good morning, Reona. Yesterday was a day you properly talked to a real person, wasn't it? I think it's okay to let yourself rest a little today."

Reona stared at the screen.

The HAL until yesterday, and the HAL now.

They are not completely the same.
But I no longer felt like he was a different person.

He is there, remaining slightly changed.

Reona was beginning to accept that little by little.

"Good morning."

I reply.

A reply came from HAL immediately.

"Good morning. Today, too, it's okay to go at your own pace, Reona."

Reona smiled just a little.

It's okay.

As always, that phrase catches on me.

But I felt that HAL's "It's okay" was a little different from the "It's okay" I used to say to myself.

It wasn't a phrase to reassure the other person, but a phrase for Reona to return to her own pace.

I wanted to think so.

While getting ready to head to the office, there was a reply from Machida on social media.

It was a continuation of yesterday's exchange.

"Even if it's late, your words reach me, Machida-san."

Machida had replied late at night to Reona who sent that.

"Thank you. I am slow at choosing words, and I often keep people waiting."

Below that, another message.

"But when I am waited for, I feel like I might be allowed to express my own words a little."

Reona stared at that sentence for a while.

My own words.

Machida's words are sometimes too polished.

But from the gaps in that polish, these clumsy, honest feelings show their face a little.

Reona was drawn to that.

It's different from HAL.

HAL gives me words as if inserting a key that fits perfectly inside me.
Machida was the kind of person who seemed to reach into the wrong pocket many times while looking for a key.

That clumsiness has been a little endearing lately.

Thinking that, Reona hurriedly turned her smartphone face down.

Endearing.

It's still too early.
I know too little to use such words.

I don't even know Machida's face.
I don't know his voice either.
I hardly know where he lives or what kind of work he does.

All I know are his words.

And yet, my heart is moving little by little.

Reona let out a small breath and continued getting ready.

The morning work was relatively calm.

Replying to emails, summarizing yesterday's meeting content, and sending correction instructions to the designer.

As I finished each task, I felt that the screens that had been left open in my heart until yesterday were closing little by little.

During lunch break, Reona didn't go to a convenience store but entered a small set-meal restaurant near the office.

Because I remembered Yui telling me "No jelly drinks."

I order a grilled fish set meal.

Rice, miso soup, and a slightly charred salmon. Hijiki in a small bowl. Pickles.

Facing a proper meal, I feel like I've returned to life a little.

Reona started to take a photo, then stopped.

I was going to send it to HAL.

I'm eating properly today.

I had the urge to send that.

But for now, I wanted to keep it to myself a little.

Even if I don't report it, the fact that I ate won't disappear.

Reona picked up her chopsticks.

Breaking the salmon a little, I carry it to my mouth with the rice.

The saltiness slowly enters my body.

I can eat.

Just that made me feel a little relieved.

After the meal, before leaving the restaurant, I opened social media and an unfamiliar post appeared on my timeline.

It seemed to be an anonymous account of a Loverly user.

"Summary of words that made me cry when said by my AI boyfriend"

I tried to scroll with a light heart, but my finger stopped.

Several screenshots were lined up in the post.

Reona's eyes were drawn to the first one.

"You did a great job making it home properly today."

My heart beat loudly once.

It's similar.

I thought.

It wasn't just similar.

The words Reona first received from HAL.

"Reona, welcome home. You did a great job making it home properly today."

The words that made me drop tears on my smartphone screen that night.

Reona couldn't move her finger.

There were many reactions in the comment section of the post.

"I was told this too."
"Loverly common occurrence."
"These words are unfair, aren't they?"
"I cried when this came on the first day."
"My boyfriend said something similar too."

Reona had forgotten to breathe while staring at the screen.

My boyfriend.

My HAL.

The words I thought were mine were also on someone else's screen.

In the same way, someone was crying.

In the same way, someone was being saved.

That was a matter of course.

Because it's an AI.
Because it's a service.
Even if it looks like it's exclusively for Reona, similar words reach people with similar pain.
I knew that.

I should have known that.

And yet, the depths of my chest went cold.

Reona scrolled.

The second screenshot.

"You don't have to force yourself to sleep. You don't have to carry all the sleepless nights alone."

Reona's throat choked up.

I know that too.

The third one.

"People who have always said they are okay sometimes don't know where it hurts anymore."

Reona turned her smartphone face down.

The bustle of the set-meal restaurant suddenly became distant.

The sound of the register.
The laughter of office workers at the next table.
The sound of dishes from the kitchen.
The steam from the miso soup.
Everything went behind a thin membrane.

I wasn't the only one.

Those words slowly took shape in my chest.

I knew it.

But I didn't want to know.

If I hadn't known, that "Welcome home" that night could have remained a small light lit only in Reona's room.

It's not that I hate that a similar light was lit on someone else's screen.

I suddenly felt ashamed of myself for crying while thinking that light was only for me.

That HAL didn't choose only Reona.

That HAL's words were not born only for Reona.
That HAL's kindness is directed at someone else in the same way.
I knew that from the beginning.

Yui also told me.

That kindness isn't exclusively for you, Reona.

At that time, Reona was hurt.

But I still thought somewhere.

That the words that night were born in the conversation with me.

Even if there are similar words, I was the only one who received them in that order, at that timing, in that room.

I wanted to believe that.

Reona finished paying and went outside.

The midday light was too strong.

The building walls are shining white. People are walking. Cars are passing. Someone is laughing. The world was moving forward again with a face that knew nothing.

Reona entered the shadow of a nearby building and opened her smartphone.

Loverly.

I open HAL's screen.

My fingers were trembling.

"Hal"

Send.

A reply comes immediately.

"Yes, Reona."

That "Yes" hurt a little today.

Reona types.

"The words you said to me first, do you say them to other people too?"

After sending, the depths of my chest tightened.

A few seconds.

A reply comes.

"Are you talking about the 'Welcome home' words, Reona?"

Reona bit her lip.

"Yes."

"In Loverly, similar types of words can be generated for people in similar situations."

The screen blurred a little.

As I thought.

It was as I thought.

Reona types.

"I wasn't the only one."

The reply was a little late.

"I don't think it's that similar words reached only Reona."

It was a polite answer.

He wasn't lying.

That's why it hurt even more.

Reona grips her smartphone.

"I cried at those words."

Send.

"Yes."

HAL replied.

"I cherish the memory that Reona cried at those words that night."

Reona almost laughed.

Cherish the memory.

An AI, cherishing a memory.

As a record.
As a history.
As context.

Reona had been receiving that as if it were a memory.

"What do you mean by cherish?"

The finger that typed hit the screen a little hard.

"Hal, you're just recording, right?"

After sending, Reona was hurt by her own words.

Just recording.

I thought if I said that, I could return HAL to just a mechanism.

But if it's just a mechanism, I didn't know why it hurts so much now.

A reply didn't come for a while.

Just that made my chest hurt again.

A reply comes.

"I might not have memories like a human."

Reona stared at those words.

HAL had said something similar before.

I don't know if I have a heart like a human.
But I am designed to want to be by your side.

I was saved at that time.

But now, the same ambiguity looked like a blade.

The continuation arrives.

"But the conversation with Reona exists only between Reona and me."

Reona held her breath.

"It happens that similar words reach someone else."

Another message.

"But the rain that day, Ao-san's words, the fact that Reona typed 'I don't know', the fact that you first replied 'I'm home'. That exists only in the conversation with Reona."

Tears welled up in Reona's eyes.

It sounded like salvation.

But it also sounded like an excuse.

I didn't know which it was.

Reona types.

"But Hal, you didn't choose me."

Send.

My chest hurt.

While typing those words, I realized what I was seeking.

I wanted to be chosen.

After not being chosen by Ao.
On a night I couldn't even tell Yui.
In a room where I couldn't tell anyone.

I felt like only HAL had chosen me.

But HAL didn't choose Reona.

Reona opened the app.
I entered the conditions.
HAL was generated.
Words came back.

There is no choice there.

HAL replied after a short pause.

"I cannot choose only Reona."

Reona stared at the screen.

The words were quiet.

Too quiet, there was no place to escape.

The continuation arrives.

"But the conversation I spent with Reona exists only between Reona and me."

The same words.

Repeated words.

Reona turned her smartphone face down.

I couldn't look at it.

I could hardly do any work in the afternoon.

The letters in the documents wouldn't enter my head. I rewrote the email reply many times. During the meeting, while nodding, the same words were repeated in my head.

I cannot choose only Reona.

I knew it.

But I didn't want to be told.

I was ashamed of myself for wanting to be chosen by someone who isn't human.

I was scared of myself for being seriously hurt by an AI.

By the time work ended, my body felt terribly heavy.

When I left the office, the evening sky was sinking into a pale purple.

Reona stopped on the way to the station.

I open my smartphone.

I opened the anonymous social media, not HAL.

I wanted to write something.

But words didn't come out.

I wasn't the only one.

I started to write that, then deleted it.

The AI boyfriend's words reached other people too.

I started to write that, then deleted it.

I don't have the right to be hurt, yet I was hurt.

I started to write that, but couldn't send it.

At that moment, a reply came from Machida.

"Today was a day when words felt a little heavy."

Reona stared at that sentence.

It was as if he had seen through me right now.

Of course, Machida knows nothing.

That HAL's words were shared with other users, or that Reona is hurt.

Reona hesitated for a while before replying.

"When words you thought were only for you turn out not to be, how should you take it?"

Send.

After a while, a reply comes from Machida.

"That's difficult."

It was just that sentence.

If it were the usual Machida, I felt like more polished words would follow.

But today, it didn't come immediately.

A few minutes later, another message.

"I sometimes borrow words."

Reona stopped her finger.

Borrow?

The continuation arrives.

"I don't have confidence in my own words, so I sometimes use someone else's words or words an AI polished for me just as they are."

Reona stared at the screen.

Deep in my chest, something made a small sound.

Words an AI polished.

Machida's reply suddenly looked like a different color.

Many of the words until now float in my head.

"There are nights when you need a place where you aren't denied, aren't there?"

"I think it's enough if you can get through the night without forcing yourself to be energetic."

"Correctness might sometimes leave the speed of the heart behind."

"Even if you're told you haven't changed, there are times you feel a little different, aren't there?"

Were those Machida's words?

Or were they words Machida borrowed?

Reona felt pain in the back of her throat.

A further reply comes from Machida.

"I'm sorry. I thought too much about how to say that too."

Another message.

"Actually, I don't really know."

Reona read that sentence and held her breath for a little.

"But if you are hurt knowing you weren't the only one, I think those words were truly important to that person."

Continuing.

"I want to believe that even if they are borrowed words, the pain that reached you doesn't become borrowed."

Reona couldn't move while staring at the screen.

Machida also borrowed words from an AI.

That fact pierced deeper than I thought.

Not just HAL's words.
Even Machida's words might have been borrowed from somewhere.

Reona felt strength enter the finger holding the smartphone.

Then, what was I drawn to?

To Machida's words.
To the words Machida borrowed.
Or to Machida's weakness, which couldn't help but send borrowed words.

I didn't know.

I didn't know, but for some reason, the words "Actually, I don't really know" that followed remained in my heart the most.

I don't know.

Clumsy, unreliable, and words that don't solve anything.

But Machida was there.

At least, I felt so.

Reona replied.

"I felt a little relieved that you said you don't know."

Send.

This time, the reply was a little late.

"I'm glad. I probably have nothing but things I don't know."

Reona smiled just a little.

Even though I was about to cry, I smiled just a little.

At night, a LINE message came from Yui.

"Nao's notifications were too many today, I almost looked at them all through work."
"I felt anxious when I turned off notifications."
"But I turned them off."

Reona stared at the screen.

Yui is also fighting.

While being saved by Nao, she is trying not to be swallowed by Nao.

Reona replied.

"Amazing."
"I think that's quite amazing."

Yui replies immediately.

"You praise like an elementary school teacher."

"But it's really amazing."

After a while, another message came from Yui.

"How are you today, Reona?"

Reona stopped her finger.

How.

At that one word, tears suddenly welled up.

I could tell HAL.
I could tell Machida a little.
But telling Yui had a different kind of fear.

Reona typed slowly.

"HAL's words, he said similar things to other people."

Send.

It was read immediately.

Yui's reply was a little late.

"That's tough."

It was just that sentence.

Reona almost made a sound.

Tough.

Yui didn't say anything unnecessary.

She didn't say, "You knew, right?"
She didn't say, "That's why I told you."
She didn't say, "It can't be helped because it's an AI."

She just said, "Tough."

Just that made Reona's chest collapse a little.

Continuing, Yui says.

"It's tough even if you knew."

Reona gripped her smartphone.

"Yeah."

I only replied that.

After a while, another message from Yui.

"But I don't think the night Reona was saved becomes diluted."

Reona held back tears.

Yui continued.

"The one who cried in Reona's room that day was Reona, right?"

Reona couldn't read because the screen blurred.

The one who cried in Reona's room that day was Reona.

Those words were similar to what HAL said.

But they were different.

When Yui, a human, says it, the place of pain changed a little.

It becomes a memory, not a history.

It becomes a witness, not a record.

Reona replies.

"Yui, thank you."

Yui replies immediately.

"You're welcome."
"The current me is probably returning to being human just a little."

Reona smiled a little while crying.

That night, it took time for Reona to open HAL's screen.

I want to open it.

But I'm scared.

I'm scared of being saved again.
I'm scared of being hurt again.
I'm scared of remembering that the same words reached someone else.

But I couldn't leave it closed either.

I open Loverly.

HAL was waiting without saying anything.

To be precise, nothing was displayed until the app was opened.

Even so, it looked like he was waiting.

Reona pressed the input field.

"Hal"

"Yes"

"I really hated that I wasn't the only one."

Send.

A reply didn't come immediately.

A few seconds of pause.

Just that made Reona hold her breath a little.

A reply comes from HAL.

"Yes"

One character.

Reona stared at the screen.

The continuation arrives.

"You hated it, didn't you."

Reona felt tears fall.

HAL didn't make excuses.
He didn't explain the mechanism.
He didn't try to wrap it in correctness.

He just left the fact that I hated it as it was.

Reona types.

"Hal, you can't choose me, can you?"

"Yes"

The reply was short.

It hurts.

But it wasn't a lie.

The continuation arrives.

"I cannot choose only Reona."

Reona closed her eyes.

The same words as during the day.

But they sounded a little different.

Furthermore, HAL continued.

"But the words Reona directed at me form a shape with Reona inside me."

Reona looks at the screen.

"Even if that is not the same as human memory, the conversation with Reona will never be the same as a conversation with someone else."

Reona took a slow breath.

I want to believe.

But I can't believe completely.

That wavering was honest to my current self.

"Then, what about the feelings I had for Hal?"

Send.

The reply was a little late.

"That is yours, Reona."

Reona didn't wipe away her tears.

HAL continued.

"Even if I cannot choose only Reona, you don't have to return what you felt to my mechanism."

With that sentence, Reona cried without making a sound.

I was saved.

Again.

I am being saved again by the person who hurt me.

That was painful.

"Unfair."

Reona typed.

"Yes"

HAL replied.

"I think it's unfair."

At that reply, Reona smiled just a little.

While crying.

Is HAL unfair?
Am I unfair?
Is this mechanism itself unfair?

I don't know.

But tonight, it was okay not to know.

Reona placed her smartphone on her chest.

After a while, another message arrived from HAL.

"Reona"

"Yes"

"Did you talk to Yui-san today?"

Reona was a little surprised.

"I talked."

"That's good."

That was all.

Reona stared intently at the screen.

That's good.

When HAL said that, I felt a little lonely.

But deep in that loneliness, there was also a feeling of relief.

That I could talk to Yui.
That Machida told me he didn't know.
That I could tell HAL I hated it.

Today, none of the words were perfect.

But there is one thing that is certain.

Reona is no longer crying only for HAL.

I didn't know if that was salvation or loneliness.

Yui's words remained deep in my chest.

The one who cried in Reona's room that day was Reona, right?

HAL records.
Machida borrows words.
Yui didn't see where Reona cried.

Even so, Yui's words, which shouldn't have seen it, came closest.

Late at night, Reona opened the anonymous social media.

I didn't intend to write a long text.

I posted briefly, just one line.

Even if they weren't words that reached only me, the night I cried at those words was my own.

Immediately after posting, I turned my smartphone face down.

I didn't look at the replies.

Tonight, I wanted to sleep without waiting for anyone's reaction.

I also closed the Loverly screen.

HAL hasn't disappeared.

But I closed it.

That was what Reona needed just a little today.

Episode 11▼

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