Family Travelogue | Tainai-meguri at Zuigudo: Breaking the 'Curse of Marriage' in Pitch Black Darkness

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Kiyomizu-dera at 10:00 AM was already terrifyingly crowded. The large parking lot was full. I don't think I could have driven through the packed approach to the temple.
Thank you so, so much!

Luckily, a spot opened up right in front of me, and I was able to park on the slope. The more I expressed my gratitude to my husband, the more it seemed like the darkness of my own ulterior motives was coming through; he wouldn't accept my thanks, saying it was too specific to be genuine praise, haha.

(Please refer to the previous article, "Is Kakkonto Love or an Ulterior Motive?" if you'd like.)

Inside the grounds of Kiyomizu-dera, there was a place called "Zuigudo."

Was there a hall here?
Tainai-meguri (Womb Pilgrimage). It looked fun, so I joined the line like it was an attraction.

At the entrance, an old man explained it in a practiced tone. "This place was opened 8 years ago, but before that, it had been closed for 222 years."

222 years?
No way, haha. It's a repeating number, so I smirked, thinking it sounded a bit dubious.

However, when I looked it up, it was true. Sorry for doubting you.

"Zuigu" apparently means "according to one's wishes."
In other words, it's a very merciful and powerful Buddha who "grants any wish people have, according to their requests."

The Tainai-meguri is a practice of walking inside the womb of this Mahapratisara Bodhisattva; in reality, you walk through the basement of the hall. The darkness, where you can't see an inch in front of you, symbolizes the state of "nothingness" before we are born, or the "true feelings" deep within our hearts.

In the middle of the darkness, you come across the Zuigui-ishi (Wish-Granting Stone) engraved with the Sanskrit character "Hrih." If you chant one wish in your heart in front of that stone, it will be delivered to the Bodhisattva.

And when you come out the exit, you are reborn.

While listening to the old man's fluent explanation with half-doubt, I found myself feeling excited.

When the old man asked where we were from and I told him, "We came from Aichi,"
"Ah, Aichi! There are a lot of people from Aichi today, really a lot!"

Oh, is that so?
While feeling a bit puzzled, we slowly descended the stairs and stepped into the pitch-black darkness.

The "Tainai-meguri," walking inside the womb of the Mahapratisara Bodhisattva, begins!

No, it's so dark I'm getting anxious. I can't see anything.
The only thing I can rely on is the handrail, which is shaped like prayer beads.

My husband, who was behind me, was joking around and saying all sorts of things, so I ended up laughing. I wanted to concentrate a little more, haha.

The children who went ahead were quiet.
Later, I was scolded for being noisy. I wonder which one of us is the child.

Trusting the sensation of the handrail as I moved through the pitch blackness, a stone wrapped in a faint glow appeared.

It's surprisingly well-lit and easy to understand, how kind, it feels a bit like a commercial facility, which is interesting, we said to each other.

I touched the stone, which was engraved with the Sanskrit character 'Hara,' and made a vow in my heart.

I will express the joy of my soul and live freely.

Somehow, my husband, who was next to me, thoughtfully turned the stone for me. It spun smoothly. At that moment, I didn't even know the stone could be turned. It felt like entertainment, which was interesting.

Counter-clockwise, huh.
I don't know why, but I felt like clockwise would have been better.
While that thought crossed my mind, I accepted the counter-clockwise turn.

When I looked it up later, although it's not an official view, it seemed that energetically, turning counter-clockwise might mean purification of the past, while clockwise represents hope for the future.

The fact that my husband turned it counter-clockwise probably has some meaning.

The painful past of our daily battle royale was being unraveled.
For both of us.

And from now on, we will break the psychological curse of marriage and live for the joy of our souls.
For both of us.

I felt a great deal of power from this stone. I truly believed that this stone is connected to the Great Zuigu Bodhisattva.

I was very healed by the cold touch of the stone, and I felt a sense of strength welling up within me. Watching the spinning stone and the rotating Sanskrit characters, I savored that feeling for a while.

When I realized it, my husband's presence had suddenly vanished. I wondered if he had gone ahead.

I called out, 'Huh? Are you not there?' but it was quiet.

Oh well, from here on, I'll focus on the darkness alone.

Gripping the handrail with my left hand, I moved slowly through the darkness, step by step.

The time spent relying only on the 'invisible darkness' and my own senses was a little scary, but it was fun, like a ritual of independence.

When I emerged from the exit, my husband popped out from behind me a little while later.

Huh? You were there?

'I thought I'd erase my presence to surprise you.'

No, that's unique. It's scary, haha.

I told him, 'Thank you, thanks to you I was able to focus, and I feel like I've been happily reborn.'

My son, who had escaped earlier, gave me a report with a half-smile.

'That old man was telling the people from Tokyo, "There are a lot of people from Tokyo today."'

The old man's lip service, and my husband's disappearance too
#WhatAreYouTalkingAbout

Whenever I visit Kyoto in the future, I definitely want to come back here. It was such a special experience that I feel that way.

My path toward 'expressing the joy of my soul' and 'freedom' should be steadily opening up.

I swear to the Great Mahapratisara Bodhisattva that from here on, I will polish my self-acceptance.
I will expose and accept both the darkness and the light, my flaws and my foolishness.

To be continued