Solo Trip to Izumo and Okayama | The 'Boundary Line' I Drew at the Izakaya Counter and a 'Thank You' for a Gift

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Warmed up from the hot spring, I headed to the izakaya without any makeup on. My top priority was being able to go straight to sleep as soon as I got back.

I didn't have a reservation, but luckily, I was seated at a corner seat at the counter.

To be honest, I'm not used to sitting alone at an izakaya counter, so I was nervous. I had tried it once before near my house, but I didn't have the luxury of relaxing; my enthusiasm for 'wanting to try something new' was much stronger.

Considering I had to catch a 6:30 AM express train the next morning and drive for four hours on unfamiliar mountain roads, I really shouldn't have been drinking. However, this was the birthplace of sake. I couldn't leave without having some.

Not wanting to affect the next day, I gave up on the three-sake tasting flight and ordered one go of a sake called 'Yamata no Orochi.' I figured if it was in a tokkuri (sake carafe), I could entrust it to someone else if I couldn't finish it. I thought the appetizer would be enough for a snack, so when I ordered a seafood bowl right away, the chef seemed a bit surprised. I felt like he was saying, 'Starting with rice?' I know, right? But I absolutely couldn't let it affect the next day. I made excuses to myself in my heart.

By the time I finished my seafood bowl, two older men had arrived one after another to my left at the corner.

After a while, the man at the very end said to the chef, 'This sake wasn't really to my taste. Oku-Izumo is definitely the way to go.' The chef replied, 'Yamata no Orochi is actually quite good, too.' The man closer to me immediately said, 'This is Yamata no Orochi,' so I naturally joined the conversation, saying, 'Me too!'

The man at the end said, 'Sorry to say this about the sake I didn't like, but would you like to try some?' and passed me his carafe. I replied, 'If you'd like, I can't finish this, so please have some Yamata no Orochi,' and passed him my carafe.

During our exchange, the man at the end suggested, 'Since we're here, let's drink together,' and ordered the recommended 'Oku-Izumo' for us.

I, who had given up on the three-sake tasting flight because I wasn't sure I could finish it, ended up getting to taste five or six different kinds. It turned into an incredibly fun and happy night.

I had such a great time that day that I wrote this article as soon as I got back to the hotel.

There are a few things I couldn't write about at that time.

Actually, there was also a man sitting to my right who was around my age or a little older. I felt a vibe from the person to my right that he really wanted me to talk to him. It had been a while since I'd seen someone make a penguin out of an oshibori (wet towel). I felt like he was waiting for me to say, 'That's cute,' or 'That brings back memories.'

I decided not to talk to him. The person to my right had also ordered sake right after I did. Hearing me talk to the chef about how many go the tasting flight totaled and that I was only ordering one go because I wasn't sure if I could drink 1.8 go, I suspected he might be trying to use sake as a conversation starter. I might be self-conscious, but that's what I thought.

When the atmosphere with the two men on my left turned into 'let's drink together,' the person to my right left his seat.

I try to imagine my past life with the person to my right. Perhaps he was the general of the enemy army back when I was a female lord in Europe. Because he killed me, we met again in this life, and by having a slightly disappointing experience, he resolved that karma...

I once heard from someone who can see these things that I was a female lord in Europe, so I let my imagination run wild that he was the general of the enemy army. I felt a little guilty as if I had left him out, so I justified not talking to him to myself in that way.

In reality, there might have been a deep reason why we ended up sitting next to each other, and perhaps there was something that could have been resolved through interaction. However, drawing a boundary line to protect myself was the best I could do for myself at that time.

Looking back, I think I was in a corner seat at the counter, which made it easy to see the faces of the people to my left and talk to them. It was a coincidence, but it felt like destiny.

The two people to my left were both one generation younger than me in terms of the Chinese zodiac; one was in their 60s, about one cycle older than me, and the other was in their 70s, about two cycles older.

The person one cycle older and the person two cycles older looked similar in atmosphere and face, and their conversation was lively. I imagined they might have been brothers in a past life.

As for me, I kept asking,
"Um, what was that delicious thing from earlier?"
"What was the one that didn't quite suit my palate?"
"And what am I having now?"

I asked these questions repeatedly, trying desperately to remember while looking at the row of sake bottles lined up in front of me.

The fact that it didn't occur to me to use the memo function on my smartphone suggests that I might have just been enjoying the conversation with these gentlemen I had met for the first time.

As everyone started to get a bit tipsy, when I asked what this sake was, they would say,
"Well, we've lost track, haven't we? Anyway, it's sake, right?"
which I found amusing.

I was also happy to share the sentiment that "Sake is the best" by saying, "Sake really is the best, isn't it?"

The person two cycles older asked the chef for recommended snacks that go well with sake, ordered extra, and even shared them with the person one cycle older and me. I was delighted and honestly accepted the treat, saying, "Wow! Are you sure? Thank you!"

However, the person one cycle older felt bad about only receiving treats and immediately ordered other dishes and drinks in return, and whenever I was offered something, I gratefully accepted.

I wondered if I should order something too, but I couldn't find the right timing.
I think I couldn't bring myself to take the initiative to order because I was torn between the joy of the conversation and the desire to accept the drinks and snacks offered, and the anxiety of needing to head back soon.

Finally, I stood up from my seat a little earlier than the others, saying, "I have an early start tomorrow," and paid my bill. The person one cycle older strongly urged me, "Make sure you thank him (the person two cycles older) properly." I felt an atmosphere that suggested they also had something to say about me paying separately on my own.

I thanked both the person one cycle older and the person two cycles older very much. The person two cycles older smiled and said, "You made a lonely night for a solo traveler fun. Thank you, too."

Even so, the strong words from the person one cycle older felt like they pierced my heart deeply as time passed, and the feeling wouldn't go away. Perhaps the person one cycle older was also holding onto some lingering discomfort for a while, thinking, "That woman didn't pay at all," or "I said too much." I believe that in human relationships, if you have unresolved feelings toward someone, those feelings resonate even if they aren't visible.

By the time a week had passed, I was thinking about the "Ava" card from the Mana Cards.

This card, which carries the meaning of "offering or sacrifice," depicts a person generously pouring a drink and another person watching it being poured.
It suggests that if you think the other person is seeking something in return, you must give back, but if it is a pure gift, a "thank you" is enough.

This is not to say that seeking something in return is bad and not seeking it is good, but rather that it is better to be aware of your own and the other person's intentions to avoid misunderstandings and sadness.

The smile of the person two cycles older was a pure gift that sought nothing in return. When I could be certain of that, I was finally able to feel at peace with my own attitude of saying "Thank you."

The sincere sense of distance maintained by the person one cycle older was also a lesson for me. Since that person valued returning the favor properly when receiving something, I also felt that I should have returned the favor in some way.

When I feel like someone is expecting something in return, the act of receiving itself becomes scary. That is why I drew a boundary with the person to my right who seemed to want to strike up a conversation.

And I think I felt my heart warm up because I felt I had received a pure gift from the person two years my senior, allowing me to honestly accept it and say thank you.

I had equated the feelings of the person one year my senior with those of the person two years my senior, so I honestly hadn't realized it until we parted ways. That is why I was left feeling uneasy about their unexpected reaction.

When the person one year my senior asked me to 'make sure to thank the person two years my senior properly,' I wanted to express my gratitude to them as well since they had also treated me to a meal.

But I hesitated, thinking that saying 'Thank you too, mister' would be rude. I struggled with what to say, and while I intended to convey 'Thank you very much for the meal. Thank you,' to each of them, I wonder if my gratitude to the person one year my senior was properly conveyed.

I realized later that I should have said, 'Thank you too, big brother.' I'll do that next time (laughs).

After returning to the hotel, I remembered that I wasn't wearing any makeup.

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