Day 8 of Unemployment: Mass-producing a little courage to erase anxiety
The energy of anxiety is powerful.
Even now, it is rampant throughout the world.
I am sure that a year from now, ten years from now, and a hundred years from now,
anxiety will never completely disappear.
But at some point, I thought to myself,
"I'll use this strong energy to my advantage instead."
An equation for emotional control and summoning a little courage
Anxiety. It exists but I don't show it (-) ×
Accompanying emotions. They exist but I don't show them (-)
= A little courage and hope for the future (+)
I just need to maintain this state.
Once I realized that, I re-evaluated my distance from my emotions.
When I am swayed by emotions, I cannot focus on what I truly want to do.
So first of all,I stopped showing my emotions on my face.
Especially when I am with others, I am careful not to let my emotions be read.
Even good emotions don't need to be shown at times like these.
Much less bad emotions; they must never be shown. Nothing comes from showing them.
I let no one know about the movements of my emotions.
Outside, I try not to show them as much as possible, even to those close to me.
Because—
emotions are things that hinder your original purpose.
I came to think that I don't need emotions other than those related to "what I really want to do."
And I realized that only by controlling them do they finally
turn into a "positive force."
Please don't misunderstand. It doesn't mean becoming emotionless.
I am just stripping away emotions other than what I want to do.
Myself when I was ruled by anxiety
I used to be ruled by anxiety.
"What if I fail?"
"What if I get laughed at?"
"Won't I lose something big?"
Such delusions occupied my mind,
and I kept putting off what I really wanted to do.
I was obsessed with anxiety, and by talking about my anxiety, I was trying to
gain "approval."
Thinking back now, it might have been a "desire for anxiety-based approval."
The time for self-dialogue that quitting my job gave me
I changed when I quit my job.
It was sudden. It wasn't that I had made up my mind,
or that I was confident.
I had never even thought that "this would change my life."
But for some reason, my mouth said, "I quit."
I didn't really understand the reason at the time.
A few days after I started using my paid leave, it finally became clear to me.
"A life of canceling what I want to do has reached its limit."
"I don't want to put my feelings on the back burner anymore."
"From here on out, I'm going to do everything I want to do."
The courage that came down on me in that moment to "quit now" was correct.
Trying to save up little bits of courage
It's not that I've achieved anything special.
It's not that I have any plans for what's next.
But, I can certainly feel it now,a fresh breeze is blowing through my heart.
I can think, 'I'm glad I took action.'
Perfect preparation will surely never be complete in a lifetime.
100% conviction or well-founded confidence,
will never arrive.
However,a step taken with just a little bit of 'courage'
is gradually changing reality.
I will increase this little by little every day.
Once courage is saved up, I can just use it again.
I will repeat this.
Then, my anxiety should
become smaller.
If I hadn't taken that groundless step back then,
I don't think I would be who I am today.
That is why I can say it clearly now.
'I don't really know, but maybe I'll give it a try.'
You can trust that courage.
I retired from the company where I worked for 25 years, and the second chapter is finally beginning.
Until I retired, I felt uneasy.
The relocation plan is the biggest mission that will influence my future.
What should I do next?
The journey to find new 'honey' has just begun.
For now, playing Momotetsu might be
a good thing.
The number of times you step up to the plate attracts your wishes.
By making it a habit, I will acquire 10 weapons
If I acquire the power to overcome the devil of the third day, I can become stronger little by little.
In the process, I also gained the power to overcome malice
and was able to dig deep into myself.
As a result, I know that the world is kind to challengers.
In the end, those who enjoy it win.
#Work consultation