People are not raised by being taught — Development is not about giving answers, but about giving questions.

"The Essence That Changes Your Life." Chapter 2

Developing people and building organizations.

— If this can be the catalyst that changes your life, that is enough.

In Chapter 1, I wrote about one's own life.

What is ability?

What is choice?

What is humanity?

What is responsibility?

And, what do you want to leave behind at the end of your life?

While writing, I faced myself many times.

However, life is not completed by oneself alone.

People are changed by others.

People grow through their interactions with others.

And organizations become stronger as people grow.

Therefore, in Chapter 2, I would like to write about "developing people" and "building organizations."

As the first installment of this, I would like to think about "development" this time.

What is development?

"It is important to develop people."

Since becoming a working professional, I have heard these words many times.

Since becoming a manager, I have told myself this many times.

But, to be honest, for a long time, I did not understand the meaning of development.

Teaching.

Instructing.

Conveying the correct answer.

Fixing what is lacking.

When I was young, I thought that was what development was.

That is why I often said these things to my subordinates.

You should do it this way.

That is wrong.

Think more.

Why don't you understand?

Looking back now, I think I was immature.

I thought I was developing others, but I was only trying to bring them closer to my own version of the correct answer.

While using the word 'development,' I was not actually looking at the other person.

What I was looking at was my own standard.

People do not change just because you teach them

People change if you teach them.

The old me used to think that.

If I convey the right things, they will understand.

If I explain things carefully, they will take action.

If I teach them how to do it, they will grow.

But reality was not like that.

There were people who did not change no matter how many times I explained.

There were people who did not move even when I spoke strictly.

There were people who stopped halfway even when I expected much and entrusted them with tasks.

Every time that happened, I wondered.

Why don't they understand?

Why don't they do it?

Why don't they get serious?

But now, I understand a little.

People do not change just by being taught.

People change when they realize things for themselves.

When they feel frustrated on their own.

When they realize something is wrong on their own.

When they decide they want to change on their own.

Only from that moment on do people truly change in the real sense.

Development is not about changing the other person.

I believe it is about giving them the trigger to change themselves.

I was giving them too many answers.

I am an impatient person.

I want to reach a conclusion quickly.

I want to move forward quickly.

I want to lead to results quickly.

That is why, when a subordinate is struggling, I immediately want to give them the answer.

You should think about it this way.

You should proceed in this order.

You should check with this person.

This is the point at issue.

If I say that, the work moves forward.

It is fast in the moment.

But, at some point, I realized.

The more I give answers, the less the other person thinks.

The other person does not fail.

But, they do not grow either.

The work moves forward.

But, people do not grow.

This is a major reflection for myself.

Development is not about anticipating and eliminating the other person's failures.

It is not about giving the correct answer before the other person thinks.

Sometimes, even when you know the answer, you must wait.

Even if you know it is a detour, make them think.

Even if you know they might fail, entrust them with tasks as long as it won't be fatal.

I believe that patience is necessary for those who are doing the developing.

The convenience of the developer

The difficulty of development is not just a problem for those being developed.

In fact, the problems of the developer might be even greater.

Cannot wait.

Cannot fully entrust.

Cannot let them fail.

Thinking it's faster to do it yourself.

Feeling anxious when reports are rough.

Wanting to chime in when their thinking is shallow.

I have those feelings too.

Even now.

But if you continue that, your subordinates will never be able to make decisions on their own.

They will start looking to their boss for cues.

They will start searching for the 'correct' answer.

They will start making choices just to avoid being scolded.

That is not development.

That is management.

Of course, management is necessary.

Organizations also need discipline.

However, management alone does not help people grow.

For people to grow, they need the experience of thinking for themselves, choosing for themselves, and taking responsibility for themselves.

I believe it is the over-interference of a supervisor that robs them of that experience.

People grow when they are entrusted with responsibility.

When do people grow?

I believe it is when they are entrusted with something.

However, this does not mean simply dumping tasks on them.

It is not neglect, either.

To entrust someone means to give them the space to think for themselves.

It means giving them the responsibility to make their own decisions.

And finally, it means supporting them without running away when things get tough.

The person doing the entrusting needs to be prepared.

They might fail.

Things might not go as expected.

It might be faster to do it yourself.

Even so, you entrust them.

Because if they are not entrusted, people cannot believe in their own abilities.

I was the same way myself.

I was not confident from the beginning.

I did not think I could do it, either.

Even so, there were people who entrusted me with tasks.

There were people who gave me the opportunity to fail.

There were people who did not give me the answers immediately, but let me think for myself.

That experience is what makes me who I am today.

People do not grow by being taught.

They grow by being trusted, given responsibility, and facing that responsibility.

Growth belongs to the individual.

No matter how serious a manager may be, people will not change unless they themselves want to change.

This might sound cold.

But the more you engage with development, the more you cannot escape this reality.

A manager can think on their behalf.

A manager can prepare the environment.

A manager can provide opportunities.

A manager can offer words of encouragement.

But in the end, it is the individual who takes that final step.

It is the individual who turns frustration into strength.

It is the individual who learns from failure.

It is the individual who takes on responsibility.

Growth is not the property of a manager.

It belongs to the individual.

That is precisely why there are limits to what those who develop others can do.

However, knowing those limits and still continuing to engage is key.

I believe that is what development is.

Development is believing and waiting.

I believe that development is about believing and waiting.

This does not mean simply waiting kindly.

It also does not mean leaving them alone without saying anything.

Believe in the other person's potential.

But do not look away from reality.

Say what needs to be said.

Convey even the harsh truths.

Make them face reality when they are running away.

However, do not take away the final answer.

Leave room for them to think for themselves.

Leave the responsibility of choosing for themselves.

Leave the sense of accomplishment from growing on their own.

People become stronger when they feel they have changed themselves,

rather than when they have been changed by someone else.

I believe that creating that moment is the essence of development.

Those who develop others are also being developed.

Development is not something where only the other person grows.

The side trying to develop others is also being developed.

Learning to wait.

Knowing the fear of delegating.

Realizing one's own immaturity.

Accepting the other person's values.

Facing the reality that things do not go as planned.

And, when the other person grows, seeing a view that you could not have seen alone.

Developing others means being involved in someone's life.

It is not a light matter.

There are more times when things do not go as planned.

Worrying.

Being lost.

Sometimes even feeling angry.

Even so, there are times when you can witness the moment someone changes.

I think it is because of that moment that I continue to be committed to the growth of others.

People are not raised by being taught.

When I was young, I thought that developing others meant teaching them the correct answers.

It is different now.

I believe that developing people means staying involved until they can think for themselves, choose for themselves, and take responsibility for themselves.

It is not about giving them answers.

It is about giving them questions.

It is not about depriving them of failure.

It is about giving them experience.

It is not about managing them.

It is about trusting and delegating to them.

And, when necessary, it is about facing them without running away.

People are not raised by being taught.

They grow by being trusted, being given responsibility, struggling, failing, and still standing back up on their own.

That is why I continue to ask myself questions every day.

Do I truly believe in the other person's growth?

Am I depriving them of the space to think?

Am I just trying to reassure myself by giving them the answers?

Development is not about changing the other person.

It is about continuing to believe in their power to change.

And I believe it means staying involved until that person can choose their own life for themselves.

── Flow Thinker R.

Chapter 1 Article