The 7 Habits Nudge Series Part 1: 'Nudging Away from Feeling Forced' — Turning 'Be Proactive' into a Habit

"The teachings of 'The 7 Habits' are wonderful, but it's hard to apply them to daily life."
"Actually, even before that, it's hard to finish reading that thick book."
To address these concerns, this series will explain the key points of each habit while introducing tips to make them easier to practice using the power of 'Nudge Theory.' The theme of our first installment is Habit 1: 'Be Proactive.' Let's explore small adjustments together that will help you naturally move closer to becoming a 'person who can choose,' without relying on willpower.

"You can choose how you respond to a situation."
This is one of the most famous phrases from Stephen R. Covey's 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.'
But honestly...
"Yeah, I get that. I understand it, but it's impossible when you're stuck in traffic from the morning."
"If my child says 'I forgot to hand in my printout' right before bed, there's no room to 'choose' there!"
I can hear voices like that coming from somewhere (laughs).
Actually, these were my own words in the past.
I was so busy every day, always acting 'for someone else's sake' at work and at home.
One day, I suddenly asked myself, 'Am I doing all of this because I feel like I'm being forced to?'
And that's when I remembered this first habit.

■ What does Habit 1, 'Be Proactive,' mean?
Become someone who acts based on 'choice,' not 'reaction.'
This is the essence of the first habit.
For example, instead of thinking 'The atmosphere is terrible... I've lost my motivation' when your boss is in a bad mood,
you take a step back and choose your own action, thinking, 'It's not my fault that this person is in a bad mood.'
In other words, a shift from 'feeling forced' to 'feeling like I'm deciding for myself.'
...However.
Even if you understand this in your head, it's quite difficult to actually do.
This is because our brains have a habit of acting on 'reflex.'
We get angry, get swept away, or make excuses.
Trying to 'choose' every single time would overheat your brain by running your willpower at full capacity.

■ Enter 'Nudge Theory'
In English, 'nudge' means to 'gently poke with your elbow.'
It is a concept proposed by economists Thaler and Sunstein,
referring to 'environmental design that changes behavior without taking away freedom.'
Simply put, it's 'a way to nudge yourself to naturally want to make good choices without having to try hard.'
To be proactive, use a 'system,' not willpower.
This is the key to 'habituation.'
I also feel that by incorporating this 'system,' I've moved closer to being 'someone who can choose a little more easily.'

■ Polishing Proactivity with Nudges! Four Mechanisms
🌱 Nudge 1: Ask a 'question' on your smartphone wallpaper
I have this displayed on my smartphone lock screen:
'What can I choose right now?'
This is surprisingly effective.
The moment I look at my phone when I'm frustrated, I come to my senses.
The small realization that 'I'm the one who chooses...' resets me.
I call this wallpaper nudge 'the smartphone elbow touch.'

🌱 Nudge 2: Stick Post-its at 'irritation points'
For me, the washroom and my PC are 'places where I tend to get emotional.' For example, being rushed during morning preparations or finding a grumpy message the moment I open my email... By placing cushions in these 'minefields' in advance, I create room to re-choose my reaction.
On the mirror in the washroom or next to the PC I always open,
'Deep breath → Smile'
'I am the one choosing'
Just by sticking these notes up, it becomes harder for the emotional switch to be flipped.
In fact, on the morning of a meeting after the weekend, I stuck a note on my desk that said, 'What reaction will I choose today?' As a result, even when there were annoying comments in the meeting, the feeling that I could 'choose my reaction'—whether to 'get angry,' 'laugh,' or 'let it slide'—began to sprout little by little (laughs).

🌱 Nudge 3: Try recording in an 'excuse diary'
Once a day, before going to bed, I look back.
'What was I blaming someone else for today?'
This is surprisingly poignant.
'I couldn't practice for the marathon because it was raining.'
'I was too busy to take a break.'
...No, no, really? Didn't you decide to 'react that way' yourself?
Gradually, the perspective shifts back from 'blaming others' to 'taking responsibility for oneself.'
I recommend this as a little nudge to yourself.

🌱 Nudge 4: The habit of having a 'proactive dialogue' with ChatGPT
First thing in the morning, I ask ChatGPT this:
'What kind of reaction can I 'choose' today?'
Then, it gives me several 'choices I can make' depending on the situation, or suggests words that align with my values.
It feels like I'm having a conversation with another 'calm version of myself.'
In my case, I get one helpful phrase every morning, such as 'Choose humor before getting angry' or 'Give a response that leaves room for interpretation.'
I call this 'morning nudge coaching.'
It's a quiet routine with AI to start a proactive day.

■ The power of 'choosing on the spot' in daily life
...And today. My child said, 'I forgot to hand in the printout due tomorrow,' right before bed.
The old me would have reflexively gotten angry, saying, 'Why are you telling me now?!' But the smartphone I took out of my pocket had that one phrase on it.
'What can I choose right now?'
In the end, while exasperated, I said, 'Next time, please tell me in the evening, not right before bed,' and forgave them. What I chose was a reaction of 'not getting angry, but not letting them forget.'
My child said 'Okay,' and I have a feeling they'll probably say it right before bed next time too. But well, since I can choose 'whether to get angry or not,' let's call it a win.

■ Summary: Let's cultivate the 'power to choose' with systems

• Proactivity is not a talent. It grows with the right 'questions' and 'environment.'

• Support it with a 'system,' not willpower.

• If you use nudges, 'I made a good choice before I knew it' becomes a reality.

Let's get closer, little by little, to a 'life where you choose for yourself' with small triggers.

■ Once more, that phrase at the end
'Our greatest freedom is the ability to choose our 'response' to a situation.'
——Stephen R. Covey
First, let's put 'What can I choose right now?' on your smartphone wallpaper.
A week from now, you might meet a slightly different version of yourself.

Part 1 Spin-off:
An AI Gym to train the muscle of 'choosing' ~ Asking AI to be proactive??
Part 2:
'A thank-you note from your future self' ~ Changing today's step by 'beginning with the end in mind'~
Part 2 Spin-off:
The ideal future created by 'beginning with the end in mind' ~ A wonderful life after mandatory retirement ~
Part 3:
'How to use time to create the future' ~ Nudges for 'putting first things first,' which is somehow difficult ~
Part 3 Spin-off
I decided that the most important thing is 'what not to do.' ~ A laid-back strategy meeting between ChatGPT and me ~
Part 4:
Is interdependence beyond independence? ~ 'Thinking Win-Win' I want to teach a certain country's president ~
Part 4 Spin-off
What kind of future does your money support? ~ 'Thinking Win-Win' even in asset management ~
Part 5:
Dissatisfaction growing from 'pretending to listen' ~ Start by 'seeking first to understand' ~
Part 5 Spin-off
The story of finally understanding why I get yelled at even though I'm listening. ~ Important matters that should be taught in junior high for world peace ~
Part 6:
'Creating synergy' ~ A miracle that can't be solved by math, where 1+1 becomes 3 or even 10 ~
Part 6 Spin-off:
The habit of competition hinders co-creation ~ How to overcome the barriers to realizing synergy ~
Part 7:
Updating yourself ~ Accelerating the growth spiral by 'sharpening the saw' ~
Part 7 Spin-off:
Engraving Win-Win into mind and body ~ 'Sharpening the saw' with the '7 Habits Board Game' ~