Planned Epidural Labor Report 5: The Story of the Most Grueling Night of My Life

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I tried a planned epidural, but labor didn't progress on the first day even with induction, so I tried again the next day. However, labor didn't progress on the second day either, and it was decided that I would have to carry over to the next day for a third attempt.

It was evening when I was told, "Let's take it easy today and prepare for tomorrow's delivery," and returned to my hospital room. Actually, at this point, I was already feeling a squeezing pain in my abdomen from time to time.

When I told the midwife, she said it might be the lingering effects of the induction medication from the day. In any case, she told me that if it only hurts occasionally, it's not true labor, so I should rest until tomorrow.

🕒18:00
The abdominal pain didn't subside; instead, it got stronger. Dinner was served, but the pain was so intense that I had to stop eating whenever a wave hit.

🕒19:00
I tried measuring the intervals, but they were over 10 minutes and irregular. By definition, it didn't seem to be true labor.

🕒19:30
Baby monitor check. I told the midwife that my stomach hurt quite a bit and that it might be labor, but she said it couldn't be true labor yet because the intervals were still long, at 12-13 minutes, so I should just wait and see. It's true that at this interval, it's generally the stage where you wait at home. I was told to try to sleep between pains and returned to my room.

After that, the pain continued to increase, and even brushing my teeth or going to the bathroom became a struggle.

🕒21:00 Lights out
I heard that lying on my side was more comfortable than lying on my back, and lying down was better than sitting, so I spent the time lying down, but pain is pain regardless.

🕒Time unknown
It felt like it wasn't about intervals anymore; it was just constantly painful. Could it be that the intervals were shortening? Both the midwife and Chappy had told me to get through it with deep breathing, so I tried my best, but breathing was becoming difficult. I pressed the nurse call button.

I said, "Um, it's been hurting constantly..." but when the midwife palpated my abdomen, she immediately replied, "It's still weak, your stomach is soft." She checked my cervix just in case, but said, "It hasn't changed." Even though it hurt so much.

What I realized after the midwife pointed it out was that the reason I felt like there were no intervals and it was constantly painful was due to my mental state and breathing technique. Instead of deep breathing, I was taking short, rapid breaths, going "huff, huff, huff, huff." Because I felt like that distracted me from the pain faster... But that caused me to hyperventilate, making it hard to breathe. At the same time, because I was afraid of the labor pains, my whole body was stiff, so she told me to just take deep breaths and then breathe normally afterward.

Following this, I went to the labor room once more for a baby monitor check. Because I hadn't been drinking fluids to avoid having to go to the bathroom while in pain, I was slightly dehydrated, and because of that, the baby's heart rate was fast, so they set up an IV to replenish fluids.

They looked at the waveform of my abdominal contractions, but it was still 12-13 minute intervals. I understood that it was still just a wait-and-see stage.

However, the wave that came every 12 minutes was genuinely painful.
For someone having a natural birth, this might still be the early stage and not much pain, but for me, it was excruciating. The pain would subside after about 2 minutes, but 12 minutes later, it would be "Ouch, ouch, ouch! It hurts!!" again. It was a cycle of that.

I couldn't bear to endure this alone in my room, so I asked the midwife, "Can I stay here? 🥺" and was allowed to stay in the labor room. It was reassuring to be next to the nurse station.

The midwife on duty at that time would sit by my side when she was free, and when a wave of pain came and I started hyperventilating, she would tell me, "Exhale long, exhale long." She would pace her voice with mine, saying, "Take a deep breath once the pain subsides, then breathe normally," "Relax," and "Let's keep our eyes closed."

But honestly, it's too hard to exhale long when you're hit with sudden pain 😭 Even if I knew I should, I couldn't do it. In the end, the best I could do was mix long breaths into my hyperventilation, sounding like "huff-huff, huff, whoo, huff-huff, whoo."

At first it was just abdominal pain, but before I knew it, both my abdomen and lower back were in agonizing pain.

I was stunned that this was still the very early stage, not even what you'd call official labor, but in a way, that was a blessing in disguise for me. If it progressed during the night, I would end up having an unmedicated birth. I was already being hit by unbearable pain, and the thought that pain many times worse than this was waiting for me was what I feared most.

I endured it by focusing solely on the fact that I would be able to get epidural care again once it hit 9:00 AM.

Every time the pain came, I would tense up all the muscles in my body, leaving me feeling numb all over. Perhaps because I was breathing heavily without even drinking water, my lips were chapped and rough.

My strategy was not to look at the clock. I had to endure the pain that had intensified around 6:00 PM until at least 9:00 AM the next morning. It was too long. I felt like I would fall into despair if I looked at the clock, so I deliberately avoided looking at it.

I asked the midwife if there was any way to speed it up, even though I understood that the earliest the anesthesia could be administered was 9:00 AM. It wasn't possible. Because it's a narcotic, it's strictly managed by the pharmacy department and requires their supervisor, so it can't be done until the designated time. They said they would share the information within the obstetrics department so they could try to get it as soon as possible within the allowed range.

I tried asking them to tell the pharmacy department to prepare mine first, but that wasn't allowed either. They said this hospital has other departments besides obstetrics, after all.

🕒Time unknown (middle of the night)
Feeling a different kind of abdominal pain than labor, I went to the restroom and suddenly had diarrhea. Was it the effect of the IV, or did the labor pain affect my stomach too? It felt like I was being hit with one thing after another with all these different pains.

🕒Time unknown (early morning)
I heard crows outside and the sound of trains running, so I felt a little hope that at least the first train of the morning had arrived. But 9:00 AM was still far away. I endured the pain without expecting too much.

🕒Morning examination
They told me my cervix was 5cm dilated, which was more progress than yesterday.
(I felt a little relieved, as there might have been a possibility they would tell me to wait for more progress before giving anesthesia if it hadn't progressed at all.)
I told the doctor I wanted the anesthesia as soon as possible. I got worried when they said they would consult with another doctor to decide on a plan, but I was determined to negotiate no matter what they said.

After that, the doctors and midwives on shift for the day appeared one after another to greet me and introduce themselves, so every time, I would say in a raspy voice, 'I want the anesthesia...' or 'The anesthesia...'. I felt like I heard them say they would prepare it.

🕒After 9:00
I looked at the clock for the first time here. I endured the pain while thinking it should be just a little longer.

🕒9:15
Anesthesia started! 😭✨
They said it would take about 20 minutes to fully take effect, so I endured a few more waves of pain even after the anesthesia was administered.

🕒10:00
The anesthesia took full effect, and I was able to have a proper conversation. I contacted my family for the first time since yesterday evening.
My stomach and lower back didn't hurt anymore! ✨ I was so happy I almost cried. However, I was told that I would still feel the pressure and pain in my crotch, as that couldn't be completely removed by the anesthesia. My crotch hurt a little, but compared to the pain since yesterday evening, it was nothing. I even had the leeway to doze off a little.

Report on the night of hell until being released from hell, end.

I chose an epidural because I'm bad with pain, yet I ended up fighting with pain for 15 hours. If I could, I would never want to experience this again, but when I think that all women who have natural births go through this, I feel a sense of disbelief and awe.

Continued in Report 6