Sending emails to myself 📩

“Sending words to myself on days when my heart feels like it might break”

What I, a survivor of toxic parents, have been doing for years to reclaim myself

It has been quite a while since my last post.
I wish you all the best for 2026 as well.

In the autumn and winter of 2025, there were changes in my work environment, and as a result of trying too hard with "full concentration," I lost sight of my own limits 😅.
I have finally just recently gotten used to this world.
Thank you for the likes ❤️, follows, and warm comments even while I was taking a break from note.

In 2025, note became an important place for me to objectively view "myself," whom I thought I knew but didn't.
And by writing with the intention of "conveying it to someone," my chaotic thoughts were carefully organized, and thanks to everyone's empathy, my self-esteem, which had been flying at a low altitude, was able to gradually rise.

Honestly, I started note on a whim.

The summer of 2025 🌻... I was hit by a double punch of extreme heat and my toxic parent, and the thought, "Why is living so exhausting?" was what triggered me to write on note.
"Alright! Let me vent my struggles in life on note. Since I'm at it, I'll graduate from being a ROM-only (read-only) user and try posting!" When I decided that, what pushed me forward was a state of mind close to resignation.

I have already been embarrassed.
There is nothing left to be embarrassed about now.
Because I am already embarrassed.

With that invincible mentality, I wrote a collaboration article that layered my own experiences with "Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba," of which I am a huge fan.
The fact that everyone empathized with me was truly a saving grace.
Thank you very much.

“Examining the traits of toxic parents and demons from Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba 👹”

“Examining the traits of toxic parents and demons from Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba 👹❷”

I, who send emails 📩 to myself

There are times when I don't understand myself

When my heart becomes unstable, I send an email 📩 to myself. I use it as a tool to look into my heart—to explore the reasons why life is hard, the muddy emotions I feel at that moment, or to ask myself questions and encourage myself. Even as the era shifted from feature phones to smartphones, I have been typing emails to myself for over 20 years. I just vent my emotions or write exactly as I feel. When I reread them, I find I have sent similar content many times, and even if I think, "Huh? I sent this about a year ago," my perspective changes depending on my mood, physical condition, and personal growth at that time. The email history is like the "annual rings of the heart" that measure my growth.

I think sending emails 📩 to myself was a process of calming my disturbed heart and reclaiming the self I had lost track of. I feel like I send them to myself almost every day when things are tough, and the frequency decreases when I am doing well.

The unreasonable time thief known as a "toxic parent"

I think this is something common for those of us raised by toxic parents, but
there are times when you don't know what you want to do, right?

Currently, I work in the book industry.
I have continued with it as a "ship I've already boarded," but suddenly “Did I really want to do this job?”
I sometimes stop and wonder, even now.

Of course, I don't dislike this job.
It's just that I think, “What did I actually want to do?” To be honest, my childhood, adolescence, and my 20s—the "golden time of life"—were occupied by the toxic parent problem, and I didn't have even a millimeter of room to think carefully about my future. Toxic parents who hammered unnecessary noise into me during that important period when 80% of a human's thought circuits are determined.

Really... you did something so unnecessary!! 💢 Toxic parents!! I cannot forgive you for hindering my growth!! 👹

...I have the urge to scream that, but the time that has passed will not return.
If so, I have no choice but to point my vector toward the "now."

Hide the true feelings you can't tell anyone inside your smartphone

If you are lost, wondering "I don't know what I want to do," please try sending an email 📩 to yourself.
Even if you don't have paper and a pen, you can vent your “poison” anytime on your smartphone. The moment you press the send button, an email 📩 from “another version of myself” arrives in your inbox.
Even if no one in the world understands you,
you can accept yourself, knowing that you are your own ally.

When you receive an email from yourself 📩, you can confirm your own existence. Your email remains in both your sent and received mailboxes, creating a perfect double-check state. Received emails arrive immediately, but even though they are sent from your past self, it somehow feels like they are being sent from your future self.

While it varies from person to person, venting negative emotions can make you feel refreshed.
The sense of accomplishment from "letting it out and sending it off" makes your heart ❤️ feel a little lighter.
The key is to write whatever is on your mind without worrying about the phrasing. Please give it a try if you'd like. I sincerely pray that 2026 will be a year filled with happiness for everyone 🙏. It looks like I will continue to post randomly, but I appreciate your continued support.

Thank you for reading this far 😊

　↓  I also recommend this article 😊

↑　Consulting a professional about your worries can also lighten your heart. I recommend starting with a casual phone or video consultation. You might receive

words of wisdom that only a professional can provide.

↑  This is written about dealing with toxic parents and the path to victory. How to shake off toxic parents without getting involved. To protect ourselves.

↑　This describes the process of distancing yourself from toxic parents and the irreplaceable benefits you gain by doing so.

↑　Please cherish yourself and by all means, try challenging yourself with things you are interested in at any point in your life. Things you work hard for yourself are lifelong treasures.

Thank you for adding this to your magazine 😊
I thank you from the bottom of my heart 💖

Mikarin-sama 💐

cluch0105-sama 💐

Satori-sama 💐

Mofuneko-sama 💐

Reemam-sama 💐

Alice Mama-sama 💐

Mai-sama 💐

Marumori Happa-sama 💐

Ruruto Ayako-sama 💐

Dear Shin-Renai-gaku (New Love Studies)💐

~sakita's Magazine~
I have collected some wonderful articles that you will want to read over and over again. Please take a look.😊

I have collected articles related to toxic parents. I hope this will be a hint for those who are troubled by toxic parents. Please take a look.