[Part 1] Why do 'words' and the 'body' diverge?

Since today is a holiday, I am posting earlier than usual.

Hello everyone!
It's me, your behavioral psychologist.

When listening to someone, have you ever felt,

that you felt that way?

Even though the words make sense, something still bothers you.

Actually, that sense of discomfort sometimes arises at the moment when words and physical reactions diverge.

This time, I will organize why that divergence occurs.

⚠️Caution⚠️

The gestures introduced here are not 'proof that someone is definitely lying,' but rather examples of signs where true feelings might leak out.

According to the research of psychologist Paul Ekman, basic facial expressions such as anger, joy, sadness, fear, surprise, and disgust are recognized universally across cultures.

In other words, 'facial expressions and gestures are universal human clues.'

Symbolically speaking, it can also be expressed as 'the truth is etched on everyone's face.'

However, please do not forget that the goal is not to 'suspect the other person,' but rather to understand them and use it as 'hospitality' to lead to better communication, and above all, sincerity is what matters most.

1. People 'react' first, then 'explain' later

To any given event, people:

(1) React with their body or emotions first, and
(2) Explain it with words afterward.

In other words, it is natural for physical reactions to move before words.

However, when trying to explain, people

• want to make a good impression

• I don't want to be misunderstood

• I want to avoid responsibility

Such consciousness comes into play.

As a result, there can be a discrepancy between the body's natural reaction and the words that are arranged afterward.

2. Where does the discrepancy occur?

For example,

• the words are calm but the hands are busy

• the explanation is normal but the body is tense

• smiling but the eyes are not smiling

are states like these.

This can also be called a state where emotional reactions and verbal explanations are not synchronized.

The sense of discomfort is the result of us unconsciously sensing this synchronization gap.

3. What to look at is not 'gestures' but 'consistency'

What is important is not

• crossed arms = defense

• looking away = lying

simple judgments like these.

What you should look at is whether words, facial expressions, and body movements are consistent.

When they are consistent, a person's narrative appears natural.

The moment they diverge, a sense of discomfort is born.

Application

Daily life

👉 Observe whether their words match their facial expressions and movements.

Work

👉 Observe the discrepancy between the content of the explanation and physical tension.

Partner

👉 Observe whether they seem restless while saying 'I'm fine'.

Next Episode Preview

So,

• Why do people try to protect themselves?

• In what situations does the discrepancy become larger?

• How do defensive reactions manifest?

Next time, I will organize the self-defensive behaviors that people perform unconsciously.

Sources

Ekman, P. (2003). Emotions Revealed.
Ekman, P., & Friesen, W. V. (1978). Facial Action Coding System.
Navarro, J. (2008). What Every BODY Is Saying.
Morris, D. (1977). Manwatching.

Finally

Thank you for reading this far!
Your 'likes' and follows are a great encouragement.
If you found this even a little bit 'useful' or 'interesting', please do 'like' and follow me 🙇‍♂️

Magazine

Here are the magazines I have participated in!
I am truly grateful, and I look forward to continuing this connection! 🙇

Also, this article was featured, so please take a look 🙇

Check these out too!

The "I remember..." series is a five-part set, so I think it will be easier to understand if you read it from the beginning.

I recommend this one as well!

Please check this out too!

For those who want to learn more, deepen their understanding of reading gestures, and study diagrams and case-specific responses, please see the paid article👇

*Recommended for those who want to correctly understand gestures and engage in dialogue that utilizes 'hospitality' and 'sincerity' while reducing misunderstandings.

Also, everyone, please take care of your health and your bodies.

See you later!!!