No Need to Rush: The Concept of the "30-Year-Old Adulthood Theory" for Developmental Disabilities [Developmental Disabilities & Gray Zones]

Watching my son,
there are still moments when I feel impatient,
thinking,
"His classmates can already do that."

When raising a child with developmental traits,
comparisons with other children
inevitably cross my mind.

At such times,
a perspective I try to remember
is the "30-year-old adulthood theory" for developmental disabilities.

It is often said in clinical settings
that the development of people with developmental traits
tends to progress more slowly
than that of neurotypical individuals.

There are cases where mental development
progresses 5 to 10 years behind
their actual age.

"By around age 30, social maturity
finally catches up."

This is a way of thinking
that encourages us to view people with developmental traits
from that perspective.

This is not a medically established figure,
but rather something based solely on clinical observation,
yet I myself
have been saved by this perspective many times.

Among the students I taught when I was a teacher,
there were some
who struggled noticeably
during their school years.

I sometimes hear indirectly
that some of those children
have found stability on their own paths
after turning 30.

Even if things don't go well in school,
life
goes on.

Just by holding that timeline in mind,
a parent's perspective
changes significantly.

If you apply the social standard of
"independence at 18,"
children with developmental traits
will always look like they are falling behind.

But,
if you look at the long term up to age 30,
whether they are 7 or 10 now,
the reasons to feel impatient
become much fewer.

On days when my son
looks slower
compared to his classmates,
I try to think like this.

"My child is now taking a step
toward their 30th year."

With just that thought,
the frustration of morning preparations
and the worry about events at school
soften just a little.

Little by little,
at their own pace,
the things they can do
will increase.

Please allow yourself
to practice unhurried parenting.

Related Articles