When you're told 'I'm sorry' too much, you end up having to go look for a job

Photos of grandchildren and great-grandchildren

On the wall of the grandmother's room, whose 'kindness' shows on her face,
there are many photos.
“These are photos of my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.”

She talks happily whenever I ask about the photos.

And occasionally, the family in the photos gathers in the room with smiles.

Every time I see that scene, I feel that this place is
“a continuation of the grandmother's family.”

The daughter's wish to act as a bridge

The reason the grandchildren and great-grandchildren visit regularly
is because the daughter acts as a bridge.

This is a family where the daughter is at the center.

The grandmother has a stoma (artificial anus),
and the daughter never lets the stoma supplies run out.

She even organizes and prepares them by size and shape
so that it is easy for us to use.

“At first, my mother took care of the stoma herself.
She can't do it now, so I do what I can.
I feel bad that I can't come every day, though...”

Her calm voice softens the atmosphere of the room.

She has a similar vibe to her mother, and
talking to her makes me relax my shoulders too.

‘I can’t do everything. But I won’t do nothing.’
The daughter quietly continues to maintain that middle ground.

“I’m sorry for having a body like this...”

The grandmother is in her early 90s.
She underwent surgery for astoma (artificial anus)several decades ago.
She was able to care for it herself at the time, but now
she needs assistance.
There are words the grandmother mutters

every time I provide care.
“I’m sorry for making you do this.

If I had known I would live this long,
I wouldn't have had it done...”

I think to myself every time that there is no need for her to regret
the stoma that was supposed to have saved her life...

My response is a dash of humor

I don't respond with 'logical arguments' head-on.
Instead, I say this:

“I’d be in trouble if you said things like that.
If I didn't have to take care of your stoma,
I’d have to go look for a job at the public employment office!”

After a beat, the grandmother chuckles and
tears up a little.

“Thank you for saying it like that.”

A moment where the air, stiffened by guilt, softens a little.
It’s not really guilt, though.


I want to soften that stiff air immediately.

‘Exchanging humor’ to untangle self-reproach

I believe there are times when it is more effective to brush things off
with light humor than to say 'Please don't apologize.'

Humor is not just a way to get by.

I think it is a skill.


When I wrap facts in humor, I can remain on equal footing
with the grandmother rather than above or below her.

Laughter can even be a tool to protect 'dignity.'

I don't need your apologies

The kinder a person is, the more they say 'I'm sorry.'

But when those words start to feel heavy,
I make them light.

Please let me do my job♡

This care is not a 'burden,' but
my 'role in protecting your daily life.'

A spoonful of laughter after the tears.
With that, I can survive another day.


I'll go make people laugh again tomorrow~

▼ Also being read

I write about the "ins and outs" of nursing homes.

I will deliver the next story to those who follow me 📩