Why Mature Japanese Women Fall in Love with Mexico—Reflections from Someone Who Got Hooked and Moved Here

Hello, I'm Saru, living in Oaxaca.
Actually, I am one of those who fell in love with Mexico.

There are men who love Mexico too, and there is no age limit.
This title is based on my own experience.
Since this is just my personal feeling, I welcome dissenting opinions.

Sorry for the broad denominator in the title this time. lol

Me, hooked on Mexico

After discovering Mexico, I started forcing my long weekends and paid leave together to visit about once every eight months on average. And before I knew it, I moved here.

There was a time when I was shouting, "Mexico is just too amazing!"

Now I can analyze it a bit more calmly.
(Look at this temperature difference. lol)

Why do mature Japanese women, and women in their 30s and 40s, have their hearts captured by Mexico so much?

When I meet these Mexico-loving women in Mexico or Japan, I find myself nodding so hard I feel like my head might fall off.

Because I felt the same way in the past.

The "closeness" that doesn't exist in Japan

In Mexico, the distance between people is small.

Also, there are many Japanophiles, there is no discrimination just because you can't speak Spanish, and few people look down on you openly.

They even talk to strangers.
They smile even if they don't understand the language.
They show strong interest in me as a foreigner and welcome me.
They praise me a lot even if I can only speak a little Spanish.

Yes, Mexicans are straightforward in expressing their emotions toward things they are interested in.

When they praise, they do it with all their might.

Just because I thought someone's eyeglass frames were nice at the airport,
many people will come up and say, "Your glasses are lovely!"
You wouldn't suddenly praise a stranger's eyeglass frames in Japan, right? lol

When I walk around town in a fully embroidered shawl,
people will call out, "Where is that shawl from? It's lovely!!"

When you are invited to a home, you are bombarded with questions, children cling to you and welcome you warmly—isn't this just overflowing with oxytocin, the happiness hormone?

I think this is the high level of Mexican hospitality.

We who have lived in Japan for a long time are unconsciously expected to "read the air," "not cause trouble," and "do things properly."

We are always tense.
We are always worried about being watched.
We are always exposed to evaluation.
We are always keeping pace with everyone else.

In that state, you lose sight of who you are.

What happens when you encounter people who are unconditionally interested in you just because you are Japanese?

You become happy.
It feels like your value has been recognized.
You feel like you've become popular.
You feel like you had a place to belong from the start.

The loneliness temporarily disappears.

This sense of happiness is what people who travel to Mexico say.
Isn't that the reason why we feel Mexicans are bright and kind!!!

I think Mexico has become a healing sanctuary for mature women who are tired of Japan.

Of course, the excitement of traveling is also one of the spices.

Furthermore, there are beautiful colonial streets lined up due to Spanish rule.
Breathtakingly beautiful folk crafts. Traditional costumes. Delicious food.

If you go to a restaurant or cafe,
men with deep-set features or guys who look like celebrities who resemble Japanese people will kindly smile at you.
Even setting aside romantic feelings, it's a bit vulgar to say, but the "heart-fluttering" elements cannot be ignored. lol

By the way, the person who took care of me the most in Oaxaca
was a dead ringer for the celebrity Kiyoshi Nishikawa.
Yeah, I won't say anything more. lol

"I'm happy for the lovely smile they gave me"
"The smart service is wonderful"
"Friendly customer service is divine"

So, even when I'm alone,
I don't feel as lonely as I did in Japan.

In fact, depending on who I'm with, I feel like my communication skills suddenly level up by 10 to 20 points.

If you've ever been to Mexico, I want you to put your hand on your heart and remember.

The moments when 'laxness' becomes a salvation

Time is approximate.
Promises are so-so.
Plans are meant to change.

They don't get angry if you're late.
They don't blame you if you get caught up in trouble.

This 'overall laxness' is a relief for people tired of Japan's rigid society.

Also, I feel there is a culture that doesn't approve of scolding people in public.
Even if I mess up, I'm almost never scolded directly to my face.

'Well, it can't be helped. Don't worry about it.'

But now I feel like this is actually a bit of a boilerplate phrase.

It's not that they have zero anger.
However, they don't show it.
Is it also a Mexican thing to only share true feelings or complaints with those close to you?

I think they prioritize living happily and laughing over getting angry or sad in their daily lives.

But there are pitfalls to this comfort

Being lax can sometimes mean that responsibilities become ambiguous.

In Mexico, if you don't state your opinion, it won't get across.
Furthermore, they don't like it when you state your demands directly.

As a result, it's surprisingly difficult to convey things while wrapping them in the kind of polite ambiguity we use in Japan.

And, a classic Mexico experience.

Even if they don't know the way, they'll say 'it's that way.'
Even if they can't do something, they'll say 'it's okay.'
It's also common for them to say 'I'll come tomorrow!' and then not show up. lol

They don't have bad intentions.
But if you believe their words literally, you'll usually end up sabotaging yourself.

This is something I've seriously experienced since living here.
Now, I handle the steering of important matters myself.
I only ask others for help with the small things I need.

I believe that level of balance is what makes things work in Mexico.

Positivity is a charm, but Mexico is also a place where it can be a hair's breadth away from irresponsibility.

They probably tried their best to do what they could.
It's like, 'An unexpected problem happened, so it didn't work out.'

As a result, they often perceive it as 'not my fault' (lol).

Also, shops not having change is an everyday occurrence.
They have the attitude that if they happen to receive money from a customer and can give change from that, great.

So, something unimaginable in Japan happens:
The 'no change festival.' lol

One more thing regarding money:
Whoever has it pays. The culture of 'lend me money' is also quite established.

Can you keep up with this culture that's different from Japan?
It took me a little while to accept this part too. lol

▼ Click here for ways to avoid it when someone asks to borrow money

The good things about Japan that you see when you're here.

Living in Mexico, I've conversely been able to see the good things about Japan clearly.

For example, the souvenir culture.
Huh? You might think, but still. lol

In Japan, we often act while imagining the other person's feelings.

Sharing the joy after a trip,
apologizing for the trouble caused while you were away,
or preparing something voluntarily under the guise of a small token of appreciation for their help.

No, wait, is it an obligation?
Some people even enjoy buying souvenirs—are they angels?

I was honestly surprised when the Mexican people I stayed with went on a trip to Europe and didn't even have souvenirs for their own family.

I think this is partly because Japan was economically wealthy to begin with.
A souvenir culture where consideration for others naturally took root because of that wealth.
When you're abroad, those parts also look like a symbol of richness of heart.

Recently, there has been a growing movement to abolish the souvenir culture, hasn't there?
In this economically tough era, I think it's a natural progression.

The culture of being punctual is the same.

Everyone is equally limited to 24 hours in a day.
Keeping a promised time is a way of respecting the other person's life.

Actually, this famous quote was told to me by a Mexican friend in Oaxaca.

In a country where people are loose with time, she was able to succeed in her work because she held that perspective.

However, many Mexicans don't worry about time.
I get the feeling they think time is eternal, something that won't run out even if you consume it.

From my perspective, they might just vaguely accept it when the end of life comes; I feel that somehow when I look at the 'Day of the Dead'.

As an aside, the most important thing I tell Mexicans going to Japan is,
Be punctual! Trains and buses won't wait even for a second! (laughs)

And then, there's the culture of 'reading between the lines'.

Even if you don't say anything, people will pick up on your feelings.
I think it's a highly sophisticated empathy system.

Perhaps it is human nature to be saved by this while simultaneously complaining about being tired of it.

By the way, when you can do this in Mexico, I feel that you get a lot of extra points as a Japanese person, even though it's just natural for us. (laughs)

Furthermore, in Japan, people don't say irresponsible things very often.
If they don't know something, they say, 'I'm sorry, but I don't know.'
They don't take on things they can't do.

Isn't this a culture of a trust-based society that values fulfilling promises?

Mexicans often praise us by saying,'Japanese people are so smart!'That is likely an evaluation of the achievements of our predecessors with the Showa-era Japanese temperament who came to Mexico and struggled locally.

Recently, there are many who are not like that.

So I always answer,
'It depends on the person.' (laughs)

I choose a 'place to live' rather than a 'country'

I liked Oaxaca, so I moved here.
The reason I don't say Mexico here is because,
if I'm going to live somewhere, it absolutely has to be 'Oaxaca'.

If I couldn't live here anymore,
I think I would return to Japan (Tokyo) rather than move to another city in Mexico.

It's not that I disliked Japan and moved to Oaxaca.

I just came here because I grew to like Oaxaca more than Japan and it became a 'place I want to live'.

And,
falling in love and being crazy about Mexico,
and continuing to live in Mexico are, after all, different things.

As I write this article, I feel like it's exactly like the relationship between dating and marriage.

With Mexico...
Dating is like the power to move forward.
Marriage is like nurturing a life together, and with that thought, I'll end today's article here.

I want to nurture my life here and get involved with Oaxaca even more deeply.

Thank you for reading until the end.

My subject matter might have been a bit broad, but please let me know in the comments about your own romance or marriage with Mexico if you'd like.

▼ I also write articles like this.