How to Improve Human Relationships: Insights from Someone Who Overcame Mental Illness and Returned to the Workforce

I share my thoughts under the name MihaCOM.
As I have touched upon briefly before, I once suffered from a severe mental illness and experienced a long period of struggling with it.
And now, I have successfully recovered and managed to return to society.
I once resigned from my company and began job hunting with the goal of re-entering the workforce, but
the hurdle for being hired was very high simply because I had a history of mental illness, and I felt discouraged many times.
"Maybe I won't be able to get a job like this."
"Maybe financial independence is impossible for me now."
Days filled with such anxiety dominated my mind.
Even so, I did not give up and kept trying, and in the end, I was able to find re-employment through general recruitment.
Now, I am able to spend my days working energetically.
I believe there are many people like me who, even if they haven't reached the point of mental illness, carry stress and worries in their daily lives.

So, what kind of worries do they have?
For example,
Relationships with colleagues or supervisors at work.
Relationships with a spouse or children at home.
How to get along with friends at school.
Or perhaps there are worries about work itself not going well.
Truly, everyone has their own various "fluctuations of the heart."
This time, I would like to focus on "human relationships" among those issues.
So, what kind of human relationship problems are common?
For example, at work, you might not get along with your boss or colleagues.
At school, you might be tired of maintaining relationships with friends.
At home, you might struggle with communication with your spouse or children.
Then, why do these problems occur?
I think there are various causes.
Human relationship problems are so close to us and so complex that they are endless to list.
That is why many people, with problems piling up, do not know where to start.
I myself struggled with human relationships at my previous workplace, and my heart reached its limit.
In particular, the power harassment from my boss was severe, and it was an environment where it was accepted as part of the company culture.
Even for a single report, I had to pay the utmost attention.
When I had to make a "bad report," it was a daily occurrence for that boss to fly into a rage.
Have you all had similar experiences?
When working, it is not just "good reports."
In fact, there may be more situations where you have to make "bad reports."
Even so, for a company employee, reporting is an obligation.
No matter how hard it is to say, it is something you cannot avoid.
Yet, they complain about every little thing. They yell immediately.
If you have such a boss, how much harder would it be to report?

My daily stress was like invisible weights pressing down on my heart from such small accumulations.
Every time I reported, I would watch their face to see if I would be yelled at, choose my words carefully, and speak with a trembling voice.
In such a series of tensions, I eventually felt my breathing becoming shallow.
Furthermore, is there a boss like this?
· They only pass on inconvenient work to you
· They dump work on you without explanation, saying "it's a company instruction"
· You have to start with confirmation work without knowing the background of the case
You are also affected by colleagues.
· Because of colleagues who don't work, a large amount of work flows to you
· They try to assert dominance over you, but they don't help you
I was in exactly such a workplace.
The workload was heavy, I was forced to multitask, and I was on the verge of a mental breakdown.
And the final blow was the clear harassment from my direct supervisor.
From there, I became mentally ill.
So, what should I have done at that time?
This is something I can say only now.
Having experienced illness once and recovered from it, there is something I can say clearly.
It is—
Whether at work, school, or home.
In human relationships, there is "one thing" that is common to everything.
It is,the other person will not changethat is.
When we face various human relationships,
we become desperate to somehow break through that relationship.
We humble ourselves, try to fix it somehow,
or try to patch things up to maintain peace, at least on the surface.
But, to be honest, what has happened cannot be changed.
And the human relationships that have become tangled because of that
do not change immediately either.
The reason we worry is surely because we wish to "do something about this relationship."
We want to turn it around somehow. It is natural to think that way.
But, as I mentioned earlier, "what happened in the past" will not change.
However, there is one thing that can be changed.
That is the choice of "what I will do from now on."
For example, in my experience, I cannot go back to the past and change the fact that I became mentally ill due to power harassment or harassment.
To be honest, when I was first diagnosed with the illness, I also had resentment toward the people at my former workplace.
The feeling of "why did they treat me like that..." was swirling.
But if I had kept being trapped by that anger, things that could have healed might not have.
Think about it.
In a hospital room, looking at your current state calmly and facing treatment even a little bit at a time, versus
repeatedly thinking back on past events and spending time burning with anger and regret,
which one leads to recovery?
I can say clearly. It is the former.
At the beginning of my hospitalization, I thought many times.
"Why am I in a place like this?"
"When can I be discharged?"
(*At the time, I was hospitalized in a closed ward)
But one day, I suddenly realized.
"Being here cannot be changed right now. Then, what do I want to do?"
At that moment, I thought from the bottom of my heart.
—I want to be discharged.
Then, what should I do for that?
The answer was clear. I had no choice but to alleviate the symptoms even a little and walk toward recovery.
From there, I started to think, "So, what can I do now?"
I think this applies to all human relationships as well.
An annoying boss, an unreasonable colleague.
Instead of how to change them, focus on "what I want to do."
For example:
· I have to make a bad report, but I want to move the project in a good direction
· If there is too much work dumped on me, I want to clearly communicate how much I can do
· If the request is unclear, I want to find the person in charge and confirm the detailed content
Yes, actually, we already know the conclusion of "what we want to do" deep in our hearts.
But when inconvenient things or emotions come first, the worry deepens, and
we become unable to notice that answer.
That is why I think this.
"What happened and the other person cannot be changed"—live with that resolve from the beginning.
If you do that, you will be able to think about your next move calmly and composedly.
And you will be able to decide the landing point yourself.
You will realize that the landing point actually existed within you as an answer from the beginning.
That is why I want to convey this.
"Rather than worrying, please try to be honest with your feelings."If there is anyone currently in the midst of worry,
please, even if just a little, calm down once and listen to your own feelings.
Surely, you will be able to see "what you want to do."
And from that moment, life might already be starting to move forward just a little.
If this text could be a clue to solving your worries or a help to make your feelings a little lighter, I would be very happy.

Fantasy Poem "Red Transmigration"
Green swell
Becoming a great river
Surging wildly
The cross I bear
Proof of life
Proof perfected
Crystals oozing and dripping
Red lamp
Burning with all its might
Decaying
The end of drifting life
Remaining embers
Only fragrant
Tears of requiem
Becoming a cold rain
Pouring down
Rain of oblivion
Overflowing red drops
Pouring white torrent
Becoming a great river
Dyeing in vermilion
Though life changes form
The flowing color
Remains the same
To the mother's blessing
Only to return
The ocean of transmigration
Rising birth cry
Splashes of the soul
Dancing in the heavens