Gift—Embryologist Connecting Lives—Episode 7〖Despair and Lilacs, May 20, 2025〗#CreativeAward2025
<<Episode 1
<<Episode 6
Three weeks have passed since Moe's embryo freezing. Even now, Moe's endometrium is not in a state to accept an embryo.
During my lunch break, I did some research at the medical school library. Assisted reproductive technology is advancing day by day. Even if it is still in the research stage now, there are surely technologies that will be applicable clinically in the near future. Looking through literature and deepening my knowledge is enjoyable.
On my way back, I took a walk in the medical school garden. When going outside, I always wear my lab coat to avoid contamination. The fresh green leaves growing vigorously are dazzling. The birch leaves have a bluish-green color characteristic of the period leading up to the summer solstice. The sunset is getting later and later, and it is a season where trees, grass, flowers, birds, and all living things seem to dance with joy.
I enter the Hokuto University Hospital building. Near the main entrance, there is a large saltwater aquarium where brightly colored tropical fish gracefully move their fins, swimming coolly between artificial rocks and coral.
I get on the escalator and get off on the third floor. Passing by the clinical laboratory center, the obstetrics and gynecology department is located behind the respiratory and cardiovascular medicine departments. The Reproductive Center is attached next to the obstetrics and gynecology department.
I cast my eyes toward the chairs in the waiting room. Pregnant women were rubbing their large bellies with happy expressions. They must be here for their prenatal checkups.
Amine tried to look out the window. At the edge of her vision, away from the group of pregnant women, she caught sight of a woman huddled on the floor by the window. She looked to be in her early forties. She was wearing a long, pitch-black dress. Her long, unbundled hair was scattered messily on the floor. Her face was pale, and she seemed to be hyperventilating.
Amine, with her tote bag containing reference materials slung over her shoulder, hurriedly rushed over to the woman.
“Are you okay?”
The woman looked up. She was breathing with difficulty.
“Are you, by any chance, an embryologist?”
“Yes... I am.”
The woman glared intensely at Amine. It was a murderous gaze.
“Are you the one who ruined my baby?”
“I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean...”
Suddenly, tears welled up in the woman's eyes. She began to cry while hyperventilating.
“My baby... Give it back...”
The woman sobbed and collapsed on the spot. She was groaning in a low voice. Amine was instantly shaken. What could have happened to this woman?
“Are you okay?”
“How could I possibly be okay?!”
The woman squeezed her eyes shut and shouted. Her hair, wet with tears, was stuck to her face. People walking by stopped and looked back and forth between Amine and the woman in confusion.
“I know... I know perfectly well that it's embarrassing to act like this... But why? Why is it that only my babies die?”
The woman looked up at Amine while sobbing.
"Can you answer me? Why did my baby—"
The woman gasped for air, stumbling as she stood up and grabbed the collar of Mio's lab coat. In that instant, as she was shaken, Mio met the woman's eyes. There was nothing reflected in them. Footsteps clattered from behind. Turning around in desperation, she saw Ando, the midwife, running toward them.
"Ms. Akazawa. Calm down, okay?"
Ando touched the shoulder of the woman she called Akazawa. Akazawa collapsed back onto the floor. Before she knew it, a crowd had gathered. Whispers could be heard. Looking around, she saw pregnant women clutching their bellies with frightened expressions.
"I'm a biology teacher, so I know. It's because the embryologist chose an abnormal sperm to fertilize it..."
Akazawa clung to the arm Ando offered, crying out at the top of her lungs. In the end, supported by young nurses, Akazawa was taken to the rest room to calm down before heading home.
A heavy silence hung in the white-themed staff room. Light streaming through the blinds cast striped patterns on the white scrubs of Ando, who sat across from her at the table. Ando took a caramel from her pouch and offered it to Mio. The hand Mio reached out touched Ando's. It was warm.
"I'm sorry. I never imagined it would come to this."
Seeing Ando bow her head deeply, Mio felt flustered.
"Ms. Ando, please, lift your head."
Ando exhaled, then began to speak with her hands clasped on the table.
"That woman, Ms. Naoko Akazawa. She had a surgery today after a missed miscarriage."
"I see... That is... So that's why she was sitting away from the other pregnant women."
"Yes. One of the benefits of our clinic is that you can receive both fertility treatment and subsequent obstetric care in one place. But you see, for those who haven't achieved a pregnancy, seeing women with large bellies can be painful and unbearable. That's only natural."
"Yes... I can only imagine, but I'm sure it must be incredibly painful..."
Mio stopped speaking, thinking of the unimaginable hardship Akazawa had encountered. Maintaining one's sanity itself was difficult.
"Um, it seemed like Ms. Akazawa held a grudge against the embryologist."
"As she said herself earlier, Ms. Akazawa is a high school biology teacher, so she has specialized knowledge. She must have thought that the reason she couldn't carry the pregnancy to term and miscarried was due to chromosomal abnormalities in the sperm. After all, chromosomal abnormalities in the baby account for a large percentage of missed miscarriages."
"It was ICSI, wasn't it?"
Ando nodded quietly.
"And it was her second time, too."
Ando stared at the ceiling. Her eyes looked distant.
"By any chance, was the first time also a miscarriage?"
"Yes, it was. She had surgery then, too."
Mio stared at her hands clasped on her lap. Mio was not the one who handled Akazawa's ICSI. If a life she had helped start with her own hands were to die before birth twice in a row, would she still be able to look forward and continue working?
"I will report this to Chief Matsui for now."
"Yes. I'll make sure to inform the rest of the staff as well."
"Ms. Ando."
"Yes?"
"When my first ICSI was successful, I was just so thrilled. But as I said before, there are truly so many, many hurdles beyond fertilization, aren't there?"
"That's right. The path that life takes is truly long and endless. But Ms. Motobukuro, don't overthink it. You are doing your job properly. Between us, the doctors have good things to say about you, too. So please, keep doing your good work as you always have. That's all there is to it."
Ando pressed another caramel into Mio's hand, patted her shoulder, smiled, and stood up. Watching Ando's sturdy back, Mio felt a strange sense of courage welling up. She could feel the weight of thirty years of experience witnessing births.
The world of fertility treatment is sometimes a stage for tragedy. A happy ending is not promised to anyone. Everyone undergoing fertility treatment compares themselves to those who conceived naturally or those whose treatments were successful, and while feeling crushed by the high medical costs, they continue to walk through a tunnel with no end in sight.
Thinking of the lives that were wanted but could not be born, Mio clenched her back teeth. The work of an embryologist influences a patient's entire life. Embryologists always carry the weight and responsibility of a reality that cannot be sustained by dreams and hopes alone. But now, she could not afford to be crushed by that pressure and responsibility. Looking up at the white ceiling, Mio slapped her cheeks to psych herself up, then stood up and opened the door. The lunch break was over.
As she walked down the hallway, she heard a phone ringing from the office. Mio ran to the office. The phone was ringing in the empty room. Looking at the number, it was a withheld number. Mio picked up the receiver and answered.
“Yes, this is the Reproductive Center of the Obstetrics and Gynecology Department at Hokuto University Hospital.”
She heard the sound of a small intake of breath on the other end of the line. The caller did not respond and ended the call.
“Another silent call...”
She could see the garden from the window. The pale purple flowers of the lilacs were swaying in the breeze. If she went near them, she was sure they would smell sweet.
It had been a long time since the white magnolia flowers, which had bloomed alongside the life Mio had helped begin, had fallen.
>> Episode 8: The Finger Pointing at the Full Moon, July 11, 2025 (Part 1)