Be a Harbor for Your Child #33 | Words Given by a Kindergarten Teacher
When you are raising children,
there are times when you lose sight of what is right.
Sometimes you lose your way,
and you might even get lost.
At times like that,
there are words that act like a compass,
showing you the direction you should go.
Do you have such words?
I do.
They are,
"Be a harbor for your child".
My eldest daughter has epilepsy.
She also has intellectual delays and hyperactivity,
and she suffers from frequent epileptic seizures,
so I cannot take my eyes off her for even a moment.
Finding a kindergarten for such a daughter was very difficult.
However, one kindergarten said they would provide a dedicated teacher
(*a teacher assigned additionally to provide individual support for children who need special care)
to work with her one-on-one.
Fortunately, she was able to enroll in that kindergarten.
Honestly, at first, I was filled with nothing but anxiety.
But thanks to that teacher always being by her side, both my daughter and I were able to spend our time with peace of mind.
However, because it was a regular kindergarten, I couldn't help but worry about the differences between her and the other children.
When we went to events, the other children would listen to the teacher and do what was decided together.
But my daughter would run around freely,
and sometimes she would even leave the classroom.
After events,
I would always feel crushed.
There were times when I felt so depressed
that I couldn't do anything for a while.
Even in those moments, the teacher
would say this to me every day:
"Listen, Mom!
Today, your daughter did this,
and it was truly interesting!"
"Today, your daughter
waited in line properly for her turn!
She tried so hard!"
The teacher always looked so happy
as she told me about what happened that day and what my daughter was able to do,
all with a smile.
As I watched her, I gradually
began to look forward to that time.
She would also listen to my concerns,
and she would tell me things she noticed by observing my daughter very closely, saying,
"I think your daughter might be thinking like this, don't you think?"
She said many things
that made me, as a parent, stop and think.
One day, I said this to the teacher:
"I only see the things my daughter can't do. But I don't know what to do.
I am full of shortcomings,
and I don't know what I should do for her."
There are words the teacher said to me when I was like that.
"Your daughter has become able to do many things
at kindergarten, hasn't she?
I think she is really trying her best every day.
So at home, you just need to be a place where she can return with peace of mind.
Like a harbor."
I think those were the words.
I was struck.
I had been thinking,
I must make her do this.
I must make her able to do that.
In that way,
I was constantly blaming both myself and my daughter.
I was only looking at what she couldn't do,
and I was always impatient.
But my daughter
was trying her best every day at kindergarten.
She was learning a lot and growing a lot.
It might be slower than other people.
But in reality,
that was where I should have been focusing my attention.
A place where my daughter, who has worked so hard at kindergarten,
can return with peace of mind.
That is exactly what I,
as a mother, should be.
Because there is a harbor to return to,
one can set out to sea with peace of mind.
These words
are still my treasure and my support.
When I get lost,
they are my compass, showing me the direction I should go.
Raising children is something you do while being lost, while worrying,
and while going through trial and error.
It has nothing to do with efficiency,
it is always full of detours,
and it is a repetition of stopping and moving forward.
Sometimes you don't even know
if you are moving forward
or going backward.
You might even
wander in the darkness.
But at times like that,
if the precious compass in your heart
gently shows you the direction you should go,
I believe that you will surely
arrive at the right place.
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