[Note Over-Analysis Vol. 3] The Voice Behind | Yasushi Ueda

This is the third installment of the membership-exclusive note over-analysis series!

This time, it's this piece by Yasushi Ueda.

I never imagined the day would come when I would over-analyze Yasushi-san's writing!

He is someone whose branding is fully realized. I believe I started writing on note in earnest around April 2024 (before that, I had mostly left it dormant). Around that time, I started writing various things as they came to mind, and at the same time, I began to vaguely look through other people's articles.

I think I only had about 10 followers back then. Amidst that, Yasushi-san's distinctive thumbnails flowed into my feed and caught my eye quite early on. He had a large number of followers, too. I would read his free articles and then go back to read his older ones. I thought to myself, 'There is someone who writes as naturally as breathing.' I realized there are some amazing people on note.

To finally be able to over-analyze the writing of Yasushi-san, who felt like someone living above the clouds when I first discovered him... I am deeply moved.

His membership just celebrated its 5th anniversary the other day! Congratulations!

Actually, Yasushi-san gave me an order to be strict!

However, I have a people-pleasing personality and am not good at harsh criticism... at the very least, I find it difficult to write that way in an over-analysis of a free article. So, perhaps the harsh talk will be in the membership-exclusive version of the article. In the end, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to write, as I'm a bit nervous.

With that said, I will approach this over-analysis with my usual stance. But since this is a valuable opportunity for me as well, I will take it seriously (?) and give it a try.

Once again, the article I will be over-analyzing this time is this one ↓

The Voice Behind

This is an article that was entered into the Monoka Kingdom, a private contest held last year by Kotoba-to-san. This contest had the theme of 'Voice.' The word count limit was 2,000 characters, and other than that, the goal was simply to write a 'great article.' The works entered here are all masterpieces, so if you read them a bit deeply, you can learn an unbelievably huge amount about 'writing on note.' I did a series titled 'Monoka Kingdom Over-Analysis' on this, which ended up being over 70,000 characters in total. I'll just quietly promote that here (laughs).

Since Yasu-san entered this contest, I was actually secretly paying attention to see what kind of article he would post.

And then, this article appeared! I was completely blown away at the time (lol).

That genre, of all things...!?

And, it was genuinely scary (lol).

Man, I won't forget the shock of that moment (lol). So, let's take a look at this piece that completely caught me off guard.

Opening (The Beginning)

The opening paragraph consists of three sentences.

This, I think, is an opening that only someone truly confident in their writing could pull off (lol).

The first thing that catches the eye is(pseudonym).
First, there is the effect of adding this note to the characters' names.
I feel this is a very sophisticated part that is difficult to explain, and while I want to gloss over it, I will try my best to put it into words.

What we learn from these three sentences is just the existence of three characters including the narrator, their names, what they were doing (presumably as children), and that the three of them often played together.

Seeing this start, I realized something for the first time.

'Oh, there are two patterns for an opening.'

In other words,whether to 'make the reader understand' or 'not make them understand' from the start.

What happens when you 'make them understand' from the start?
You hook them immediately. You bring the peak to the beginning. The impact when this succeeds is intense.

How to draw the reader in intensely with the opening (including the title). This is the 'opening theory' (?) that has likely been discussed in countless 'how to write on note' guides.

The weakness of this intense-start approach is the risk of it becoming a 'one-joke' opening. I touched on this during the first deep dive.

But, the 'opening theory' is actually not just this. The exact opposite opening, that is

There are times when you "don't let them understand."

Is such a thing even possible?

……It is possible (laughs).

What kind of effect does not understanding, or not being allowed to understand, have on the reader?

It means that a "mystery remains."
And the fact that a "mystery remains" means,

you're dying to know what happens next.

That is what it means.

In other words,starting without letting the reader understand leaves a mystery, and therefore, makes them curious about what happens next, which is the effect it has.

I realized this for the first time while over-analyzing this time (a bit late, I know).

Now, let's take another look at the beginning of this piece.

Earlier, I mentioned that we only know the existence of the three characters, including the narrator, their names, and (presumably) what they were doing as children. In other words……

We know almost nothing! (laughs)

But aren't you curious about what happens next? That's exactly why.
This is the brilliance of this text, where it seems like it could be explained, but it isn't.

If I were to add one more trigger for analysis here, it would be the aforementioned(pseudonym).

I think this emphasizes something like this. In other words……

The mystery is emphasized by the (pseudonym).

It's not just that we don't understand; it'semphasizing the fact that we don't understand. This is sophisticated. In other words, the emphasis is placed so that you become curious about what happens next. To put it bluntly,you don't even know if it's fiction or non-fiction.
And, as expected, this opening can only be written if you are confident in your writing. It is difficult to keep the reader engaged with a text where they don't know if it's fiction or non-fiction. If you write poorly, there is a risk that the reader will drop off right here.

You're already curious about what happens next, right? (laughs) Let's move on.

I thought about moving on to the next phase, but I took a detour.

The spice here is "A big bath is nice, isn't it?". This is the spice. Even without this sentence, the story would work perfectly fine. However, the author dares to include it. Up to this point, the writing style is basically plain form. Then, suddenly, a colloquial sentence is inserted. This is the 'wall-slam model' mentioned in 'The Writing Class That Goes Viral, Taught by a Literature Geek' (by Kaho Miyake, Sanctuary Publishing). The author is truly skilled at inserting these accent-color sentences, and I always want to imitate it (laughs).

And then, there's the content.

I seriously don't know what happens after this. For a second, I thought, 'Is this a story about three people going to a super public bath?' (laughs). But looking at what follows, you immediately realize that's not it.

Mid-section ①

No good (omitted) I can't do it (laughs)

I think Yasushi-san's techniques are fully exploding here.

For example, 'Well, I guess that would happen.' This feeling of being suddenly spoken to. It catches you off guard. 'No, no, that's a bad move' is the same. It creates rhythm. Or, 'You're the game nerd, man. Tell her yourself. What a pain.' Here, suddenly, Kansai dialect appears (laughs). And then, it piles on. With this, you're already being carried away by Yasushi-san's rhythm.

On the other hand, what's amazing is that plain form suddenly appears in contrast. For example, 'Love is blind' or 'Ogawa drifted away.' If I may say so without fear of being misunderstood, if you were to take just this sentence, just one sentence, he inserts a boring sentence (no offense). But you end up reading it. The reader can't feel at ease at all (laughs). People get sleepy when they can read with peace of mind, but that doesn't happen here (laughs).

In other words, he is 'creating stability out of an unsettled state.'

Truly protean. It's amazing. If I were to point out where Yasushi-san's uniqueness appears in this text, I would point to this part.

On the other hand! On the other hand, mind you! Regarding the content, it's like this.

I still can't read what's going to happen next at all.

You're compelled to read, yet you don't understand. How can I rephrase this?

Yes...

I'm super curious about what happens next (laughs).

I think that's what it is.

Mid-section ②

From here on is the movement of the day.

Ogawa invites me to a hot spring. Ogawa invited Takai, but it seems it was inconvenient for him.
The scene after Ogawa came to pick me up by car and we departed

At this point, I went, 'Ah...'

"Wait... this text... could it be... horror...?"

"A shrine for doll memorial services" is already too scary just by itself.
They put this word in here.

I finally realized it here. Perhaps I was slow to realize it.

This is also very suggestive...

It's really scattered with clues. It makes me wonder which parts are foreshadowing.

1. Ogawa had received a stuffed toy from Kitahama
2. Ogawa had brought that stuffed toy with him
3. The narrator knew about it, saying, 'The NARUTO female character one, right? That brings back memories.'

It becomes suggestive, and the mystery makes you want to know what happens next.
And it starts from here.
After leaving the shrine for doll memorial services...

The flow after this is amazing.

Middle Part 3

The scene after leaving the shrine

What happens from here on is truly amazing, but I thought it would be a spoiler if I quoted it, so please check the original text for the description that follows (lol).
Perhaps you can read the part after this at an unbelievable speed. It goes down like a roller coaster. And then, it peaks as if it stops abruptly at the capital letters.

With so many mysteries scattered about, you find yourself wondering what's going on and wanting to know what happens next, and then you're dropped into it all at once.
But it was scary, wasn't it? (laughs) Well, it is horror, after all (laughs).

"Making you read it all at once"

That is something that people who are good at it are truly good at. Since I'm going to the trouble of doing a note, I want to learn how to steal techniques like this (laughs).

And, as expected, the buildup in the first half really pays off. The flow of the scrolling changes completely. Driving the car as if to escape. And then, the peak appears in capital letters. What kind of mood does the reader end up in?

……Super scary (laughs).

Man, that's a vivid development. It's like a haunted house.

What I found surprising was that the part from after the peak in capital letters until just before the end was quite straightforward.

After the capital letters, nothing happens and they just go home.

This is surprising, if you want to call it that, but conversely, I think it's preparation to make it jump one more time at the end.

The trick to making it jump is to sink down once.

Ah, so this is how horror is supposed to be handled, I thought.

In other words, creating a state of "not knowing what will happen" makes the reader continue reading in a state of anxiety. And because there are times when "nothing happens", it's even scarier. If you brace yourself thinking something will definitely happen, it's surprisingly not that scary, but because the state of "not knowing whether it will happen or not" continues, it's scary.

And then, the ending. You proceed with a pounding heart.

How to end it

I'm writing this over-analysis at night, and it's just too scary (laughs).

You see, it's too abrupt, which makes it scary (laughs).

They really know when to let their guard down. The sense of push and pull around here is also masterful.

The word count here is suddenly low, too.To express surprise and astonishment, it's better to use fewer words. Sorry, I just got a little tip (laughs).

Geez, over-analyzing this is honestly so scary (laughs).

It keeps getting more and more fragmented. Because it's fragmented, the reader starts to think. They try to connect the dots. Even when they don't want to connect them, their curiosity just runs wild (laughs). And then, they connect them, realize they've connected them, and get scared... wait, now that I'm writing this, I'm getting scared (laughs).

And now, the ending.

Ugh, that's so unsettling, lol.

The initial mystery was left as a mystery (laughs). Actually, it ended by leaving even more mysteries behind!! Therefore, it's scary!

The last sentence is this.

No, no, stop it already, haha. No, wait, don't stop, haha.

It's unfair to end it with this sentence.

This leaves the fear in reality.
In other words, if it were a 'it was all a dream' ending, you could just say, 'Oh, that was scary, but it was just a dream,' and be done with it. But they put a sentence at the end that crushes that possibility (laughs).

Finally, I'd like to touch on the worldview.

I can't quite grasp the worldview of this text, and that's been the case from the beginning.
Ever since they started using (pseudonyms).

In other words, the state of not knowing whether it is fiction, non-fiction, reality, or unreality continues until the very end. The call history remains.
Huh? Could it be that there is still a call record left on Yas-san's mobile phone? I even start to think that.
I don't know if it's reality or unreality.
Actually, don't you ever find yourself unable to tell if the living space you are in right now is truly reality or unreality?
The description of 'a call record remaining on a mobile phone' exquisitely creates a state where you don't know if it's reality or unreality, fiction or non-fiction.

You're really going to take it there, aren't you? (laughs)

Once I thought that, the previous sentence also started to feel like part of a setup.

By saying 'even now,' he is reminiscing, isn't he? When it gets to this point, the position of the protagonist and the position of the writer, Yas-san, become unclear. What's even scarier is that after this reminiscence,

is brought in. It's not the other way around.
If it were the other way around, the possibility that the call record remained could perhaps be interpreted as part of the reminiscence and not reality. He crushes that possibility (laughs).
That's why I even end up imagining that, just barely, there might actually be a call record left on Yas-san's phone... wait... is it really still there?... No, no... it's scary, it's scary (laughs).

Wow, you can really make the reader tremble just by the way you lead them, can't you? (laughs)

Yas-san, thank you very much!!

I've learned that over-analyzing scary stories makes them even scarier! (laughs)

Ending & Next Preview

So, that's it for the free over-analysis edition!
How was the third installment of the note over-analysis?

This time, it was quite scary (laughs). I never expected to be scared twice by the same text.

In the membership version of the over-analysis, I basically don't hold anything back. I always have the feeling of being pulled in so deeply by the subject text.

When you look at the text carefully, you start to see a world that you would never notice by skimming. When you do that, you understand the greatness of turning down 40 million yen, you see the essence of getting stuck in a swamp, and scary stories become even scarier (laughs).

And so, I've been wondering what to do for this paid membership-exclusive deep-dive analysis. I was debating whether to make it about the opening, but Yas-san asked me for a harsh critique... so in the membership version, I will try my best to see if I can dare (?) to be harsh.

The theme is,

Where does the reader understand? Where does the writer make them understand?

I think I'll go with this!

In a sense, this is also an eternal challenge. By digging deep into 'where did you understand?' and 'what did you understand?', when you become a writer, you might grasp hints on 'where to make them understand?' and 'what to make them understand?', which could serve as a reference for 'how to lead the reader.'
That is the theme.

I would like to take on the challenge of digging deep into this eternal issue through 'The Voice Behind'!

If you are interested, please try joining the membership. It is scheduled to be released tomorrow at 17:30!

The deep-dive article is here!

Recently, there seems to be a growing trend of reacting to other people's notes by writing impressions, editing, evaluating, or providing feedback!

Setouchi Note Research Institute has also started a membership aimed at self-metacognition through editing and evaluation.
'Cancellation Seminar' sounds like a novel and interesting project!

Since Setouchi Note Research Institute told me that my analysis was really good, I would like to continue with high spirits.

Also, the #JealousyFestival, where Jun Ikematsu is giving feedback to over 70 people, is a hot topic.

It is a project to support the Fujinkoron.jp series by popular essayist Nami Saito.

↑ Click here to read the series. I think Ikematsu-san and Saito-san will be very happy.

Also, Sunou Honda did an incredible project where she created catchphrases for nearly 50 people's notes in one day.

I, lion, also easily jumped on the bandwagon,

'Rodin, or Roman, or lion'

I received this stylish catchphrase.
Thank you very much!!

Since over-analysis is also a service where I analyze other people's articles, maybe it's a chance to jump on these trends!?

So, while I think it would be interesting if lion's over-analysis jumped on the trend that might be coming soon, for now, I will enjoy this journey of excessive analysis at my own pace, freely and without needing to go that far.

And the next over-analysis will be... this work by Umami Sougyoku!

I read it! I haven't fully put it into words yet, but this work is also incredibly interesting!
The articles you all order are all amazing, and when I analyze them, I make discovery after discovery.

For now, Black Out. I've already listened to it twice (lol). It's seriously cool!

So, look forward to the next one!

With that said, thank you for sticking with me!
So, while continuing at my own pace, "make today the best day ever"