13. Friends are Far Away [Where Do Swallows Go?] Final Episode
*This is a serialized work. Click here for the previous episode
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After Bukkorogai was gone, I eventually turned 41.
Bukkorogai died at 38.
Even now, I sometimes remember that, and there are times when I want to smash everything in front of me into pieces.
But I knew that doing such a thing wouldn't solve anything.
Life comes to an end.
That was a natural thing.
I can't forget it, and I can't get over it.
And I couldn't fully come to terms with it.
Even so, the seasons keep moving forward, and the children keep growing up.
There wasn't a single day that I didn't think of Bukkorogai.
And yet, I gradually got used to it.
Before long, there came to be a brief pause before I could recall Bukkorogai's face.
But, I remember Bukkoro.
I remember him greeting me with a 'Hey'.
I also remember him always saying 'Sorry'.
I remember him saying 'Right?' when he was in a good mood and we agreed on something.
It's his voice.
I remembered Bukkoro's voice very well.
Sometimes, when no one was around, I would call out Bukkoro's name.
There was never an answer, and I understood perfectly well that that's just how it was.
I know it doesn't reach him.
I know it's meaningless.
But, it meant something to me.
I always called him by his name.
He, on the other hand, often called me 'you'.
"Hey you."
That's how our conversations always started.
I remember that.
I don't know how long I'll be able to remember it, though.
I couldn't say anything high and mighty to anyone.
After Bukkorogai was gone, I didn't really go fishing anymore, and even if I did go and catch a fish,
(There's no one left to brag to anymore)
I started to think that.
I hardly ever hang out with the people from work I used to be close with back then anymore.
They didn't do anything wrong, but I kept my distance.
I realized that I was only able to hang out with everyone with peace of mind because Bukkorogai was there.
Once he was gone, I became anxious.
There's no one left who knows the real me.
I don't need anyone anymore.
Because people die.
I decided to cherish only the people who are right there beside me.
Because if I look away, I might sink into a puddle before I even notice.
Sometimes, I would get an unbearable urge to see Bukkoron, and I would send a LINE message just like I always did.
【I can hang out today! What time do you finish work?】
The number of those LINE messages that never got marked as read kept increasing.
Also, I often thought about stupid things, like whether I could use my arms to perform human transmutation, just like in the manga I used to read.
But I thought that if I lost my arms, I couldn't hold my child, if I lost my legs, I couldn't climb mountains, and if I lost my internal organs, my wife would cry.
So I gave up on human transmutation.
I wasn't a State Alchemist.
Swallows are building a nest at the entrance of the nursery school.
Looking at them, I thought, please don't fall.
As I was thinking about that, my four-year-old daughter stopped and made a sad face.
And at nothing in particular,
she said, 'Bye-bye.'
I asked.
'Who did you say bye-bye to?'
My daughter replied.
'I was playing with Yuina-chan, but her dad came to pick her up halfway through, and she had to go home, so she was sad.'
So I said bye-bye so she wouldn't forget to play again tomorrow.'
I remembered Bukkoro.
A swallow flew just above me.
Ah, it's already June.
Our summer vacation is over.
I said.
'I see, well, since you said bye-bye, I'm sure she won't forget. I hope you can play again tomorrow.'
Telling her that, I said bye-bye to Bukkoro in my heart.
The End
...I thought about cleaning things up nicely like that, but in the end, there's something I still want to say to him.
"Live a million times over!!"
That's what I'll say!!
Well then, that's truly the end.
Thank you so much!
Bye-bye!
To the afterword
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