[Parenting Essay] #26 A Morning When You Suddenly Relax

Around the time the morning light begins to spill in little by little through the gap in the door.

My 5-year-old eldest daughter, Icchan, who had been sleeping until then, sits up with a sudden burst of energy,

shouting, "Toilet! I need to pee!"

in a panic.

"Oh! Go, go!"

My wife, who was sleeping nearby, cheers her on in a small voice still heavy with sleep.

I also follow a little later,

and as I wriggle my way out of the futon, I watch Icchan's back as she runs off.

When I move over toward my wife,

my second daughter, Tsu-chan, who is finally nearing the end of her first year,

is sleeping soundly right next to her.

I find myself staring at her profile without thinking.

After a while,

I make eye contact with my wife, who has noticed my gaze.

"……They're cute, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

"Their ears are... what was it, a fairy? They look like a fairy, don't they?"

"Ah, like an elf, right?"

The day before, Tsu-chan was finally able to
play to her heart's content at the park for the first time in a while.

Perhaps thanks to that,

she didn't scream, kick the walls and sliding doors,
or cry while thrashing about in the middle of the night.

For the first time in quite a while,

probably for the first time in about a month, it didn't happen.

"...Come to think of it, she didn't thrash about or cry, did she?"

"That's right. She didn't go as far as thrashing about.
She was just lightly groaning a little."

While exchanging such conversation,

I let the flow take me and continue.

"It's February now, so starting tonight,
shall I try putting both of them to sleep by myself again?"

“Right. I said I’d take over the nightly bedtime routine
until January, didn’t I?”

After a short pause, I continue.

“So, if I manage to get them to sleep
successfully tonight, I’ll come back out.
Let’s spend some time relaxing together. It’s been a while.”

“That sounds nice.”

Parenting is almost always a forward-leaning endeavor.

We’re always in a bit of a rush,

a bit too tense,

and before we know it, our shoulders and backs are stiff.

But sometimes, like this,
there are moments when the tension suddenly fades away.

Drawn in by the warmth of the futon,

and the rhythm of my child’s breathing,

it’s a morning where my body remembers that it doesn’t have to move right now.

Honestly, I don't know if things will go well tonight.

Even so,

being able to say, "Shall we give it a try?"

and getting a "Sounds good" in return.

Just having that exchange,

makes me feel like I can somehow enjoy it again.

I started a membership in February 2026 ↓

↓ An article detailing the process leading up to the launch of the membership

This is the [note Exploration Record] series, which I started with the hope of growing it into a place where I can record the "deeply flavorful things" I feel and notice by "exploring the world of note" ↓