"Entrusting" and "neglecting" are completely different.
Recently, my daughter started using chopsticks.
She can't use them well yet.
Sometimes she tries to grab food but can't quite pick it up.
Even when she thinks she's finally got it, she sometimes drops it on the way to her mouth.
Even so, I try not to interfere as much as possible.
I don't teach her, "Hold it like this," or pick it up for her.
I don't get angry if she drops it.
She can just try again.
Thinking that, I watch from a little distance.
My daughter fails a few times, but she still moves the chopsticks herself.
—
Watching her like that, I suddenly think,
"Entrusting someone with something is surprisingly difficult."
From a parent's perspective, there are many things that would be faster if I just did them myself.
When I see her struggling, I want to help.
If it looks like she's going to fail, I want to teach her beforehand.
But if I anticipate everything, she loses the time to think and try things for herself.
That's why I try to entrust the chopsticks to her.
It's okay if she spills a little.
It's okay if it takes a little time.
Because even if she fails, it's not a big problem.
On the other hand, there was a time when I was doing housework.
My daughter tried to use scissors by herself.
At that time, I said,
"Wait a second. Let's use the scissors together."
Then, I stopped my housework for a moment and sat down next to her.
Scissors are different from chopsticks.
Considering the risks, it's not something I can leave her to do alone yet.
That doesn't mean I take them away saying, "It's dangerous, so no."
I sit next to her and we use them together.
I value what she wants to do as much as possible, while lending a hand where necessary.
Thinking about that difference, I realized,
"Entrusting" and "neglecting" are completely different.
—
Watching my daughter with her chopsticks reminds me of when I entrust work to someone at my job.
Just because I've entrusted it to them doesn't mean I don't need to watch.
But if I interfere with every little detail, that person loses the room to think for themselves.
Even if it's something I could do quickly, I intentionally watch.
Even if it takes a little time, I don't give them the answer right away.
Even if things don't go well, I leave them the time to think about it from there.
But when they are truly in trouble, I step in.
Thinking about it that way, perhaps entrusting my daughter with chopsticks and entrusting someone with work are a bit similar.
I don't think entrusting means letting go completely.
I stay in a place where I can step in immediately.
But I don't take away the time for them to try it themselves.
Thinking about that sense of distance might be part of "entrusting."
—
Watching my daughter's chopsticks, I thought about such things.
When my daughter is using chopsticks, it looks like I'm doing nothing.
But in reality, I am watching.
What will she do if she drops it?
Is she having trouble?
Is this the right time to help?
I make sure I can step in if necessary.
Doing nothing and watching over someone are different.
Neglecting and entrusting are also different.
As my daughter grows up little by little, the things I can help with will decrease.
At that time, I don't want to be a parent who does everything for her,
but a parent who can say,
"Go ahead and try."
But at the same time,
I also want to be a parent who can say,
"I'm here if you need help."
For chopsticks, I will entrust her as much as possible.
For scissors, I will sit next to her.
I want to continue learning that sense of distance little by little.
—
Thank you for reading until the end.
In this note, I put into words the things I've felt through raising my child as a single father and through my work in human resources.
If you think, "I'd like to read more," I would be happy if you followed me.
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