It was me who was feared 🔥3

I became a second-year high school student.

I had a friend I'd been close with since my third year of junior high.
I will call her 'her' here.

I felt safe when I was with her.
When we were together, I felt like I could be 'normal'.

─────

In high school, we were placed in different classes.

We were in the same club, but
she had made new friends in her class.

One day, during club activities,
I saw her talking happily with one of those girls.

At that moment, a strange feeling stirred deep in my chest.
I felt like I had been left behind.


From then on, being the three of us together became painful.

The two of them were just talking normally.
I knew that.

Even so,

I didn't know when to join the conversation.
I didn't know when to laugh either.

I felt like I was the only one out of place,
and that feeling in my chest kept churning.

─────

Before I knew it, I had started to stay silent.

Even when spoken to, I would reply with 'Yeah' or 'Whatever'.
No other words would come out.

That wasn't the truth.

'I want you to include me too'
'I don't want you to leave me behind'
'Don't ignore me'

But I couldn't say it.
I felt like if I said it, I would only feel more miserable.

Instead, I showed it through my attitude.

When the two of them were having fun,
I would deliberately look away.

I wouldn't join the conversation.
But I wouldn't leave the spot either.

Remaining silent, only the atmosphere grew heavy.

I knew it myself.
That I was being unpleasant right now.

But I didn't know what else to do.

Without knowing what to do,
I kept doing it.
That was all I knew how to do.

─────

One day, on the way home from club activities.
Her friend said, looking a bit awkward.

'She said that you,
are a little scary.'

'Scary?'
I asked back instinctively.

'She wants to be friends, but'
'you always seem angry,'
'and she doesn't know how to interact with you.'


I didn't understand what that meant.
I wasn't angry at all.

I was just sad.

Why?

Everything went dark before my eyes.

─────

Later, we decided to talk as the three of us.

I asked.
'Did I do something?'

She was silent for a moment, then said quietly.

'When something doesn't go your way, Minori,'
'you immediately get in a bad mood.'

'You don't say anything and suddenly go silent, right?'
'You don't make eye contact, and'
'you make a face that clearly shows you're angry...'

'Honestly, I don't know when you'll start getting angry, so it's scary.'

At that moment, it felt like I had been struck in the back of the head.
A shock ran through me.

You've got to be kidding, I thought.

I was just sad.

But at the same time,
Myself, falling silent.
Myself, looking away.
Myself, not replying.

Many scenes flashed through my mind.

The one who was making the atmosphere tense was no one else
─── It was me.

I thought I was the victim.

But the one who was wearing a mask of sadness and hurting others
was me.

──────────
🫧Me in this form

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Read this event from a different perspective

▷ Why did I act like that (Analysis/Free)
▷ The reason I became the perpetrator (Analysis/Free)
▷ What happened to me after I thought I was the victim but was actually the perpetrator
(Analysis/Paid)
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▶ To the next event (2A peaceful time of just time)

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