[May 27, 2025 | Anniversary of Death] The third-year memorial service for my late girlfriend.

Today, May 27, 2025, marks exactly two full years since my girlfriend passed away on May 27, 2023.

In other words, today is the third anniversary of her death, her third-year memorial service.

⇒ [Tosa dialect] In Kochi, people say 'miteru' (to pass away) when someone dies... a story about that.
⇒ [May 27, 2024 | Anniversary of Death] The first-year memorial service for my late girlfriend. ~Even though we were so close

I'm sure you already know this, but I'll mention it just in case...

It's easy to mistakenly think that the second anniversary of someone's passing is the 'second-year memorial' or 'second anniversary.' However, the second anniversary is actually the 'third-year memorial.'

The fundamental premise for this is that the day of passing is the 'first anniversary,' and the term 'kaiki' (memorial service) refers to which anniversary it is.

In other words, if a 'second-year memorial' were to exist, it would be the first anniversary of the passing. However, the first anniversary is not called the 'second-year memorial,' but rather the 'first-year memorial' (isshuuki).

Therefore, the second anniversary after the day of passing is the third anniversary, so it becomes the 'third-year memorial.'

By the way...

Even though today is the anniversary of her death, it has been exactly two years since she passed, so I feel like it wouldn't be quite right to make this too gloomy.

Or perhaps...

'It's already been two years since then, hasn't it? I've really felt lonely since you were gone. But I'm doing fine, as always. Since I can't see you anymore, I guess I've had a bit more time to play games.'

Even if I were to say that to her, it wouldn't reach her anyway...

In the first place, based on my own theories, she is no longer even in the 'afterlife,' but rather, through reincarnation, she is likely being reborn right about now and is about to start a completely different new life.

⇒ [Considerations from personal experience] Do ghosts exist?
⇒ [Considerations from personal experience] Do the afterlife or the next life (rebirth/reincarnation) exist?

So!!

I thought I would try writing down some random thoughts about her.

Meeting her...

I first learned about her in early January 2018.

I have moved to Note now, but back then, I was writing a blog on WordPress.

I wrote an article about local gourmet food on that blog.

In that gourmet article,

'The atmosphere of the shop seems nice, and the food looks delicious too'

That was the kind of message I received from her.

By the way, she claimed to be quite a famous person as a gourmet blogger, or so she said.

Since I hardly ever look at gourmet blogs, it goes without saying that I had never seen or even heard of her blog.

I think we exchanged a few mundane messages.

The very first time I met her in person was in mid-January 2018.

She lived in Tokyo but was originally from Ehime.

I don't know what it was about our message exchanges that she liked, but I received a message saying, 'I'm going back to Ehime to visit my parents, so I'd like to meet you once.'

Even though she suggested meeting, she gave off a fairly young vibe, so I asked, 'By the way, how old are you?'

She replied that she was 29.

She was exactly two full zodiac cycles younger than me.

I replied, 'You're two cycles younger than me. There might be a generation gap.'

Although, I was confident that I could keep up with the conversation even if the other person was a young woman.

I did say that about the 'generation gap' partly as a kind of insurance in case we didn't get along at all.

'Oh, there's that much of an age difference? Do you like karaoke? I love karaoke, so I'd like to go with you.'

Since she replied with that, I answered, 'I do like karaoke.'

Then she said,

'Then it's settled. Also, Kochi has that famous imo-kenpi, right? I want to eat that.'

That was how she requested a souvenir.

Thinking, 'I'm not really sure what she means by famous imo-kenpi...', I looked it up online and got the feeling that 'Imoya Kinjiro's imo-kenpi seems to be the famous one.'

So

When I replied, "Is it Imoya Kinjiro's imo-kenpi?"

she said,

"Yes, that's it, Imoya Kinjiro's imo-kenpi."

So,

the day before we actually met, I drove all the way to a place called 'Imoya Kinjiro Hidaka Main Store' in Hidaka Village and bought about 3,000 yen worth of various kinds of imo-kenpi.

Just so you don't get the wrong impression about her asking for souvenirs, I should mention that was the only time she ever requested one.

After that, not only did she never ask for souvenirs, but even at Christmas, she would say, "Just being able to see you at Christmas is enough. I don't need any presents."

However, I felt that it was unforgivable as a person to meet my girlfriend on Christmas without a gift, so I bought her a cute character-patterned 'hanten' (padded jacket) for about 5,000 yen so she could wear it at home since she was sensitive to the cold, and gave it to her as a Christmas present.

Even though it wasn't that expensive, she was so happy and said, "I'm so happy! I'll treasure it."

Back to when we first met...

When we met for the very first time, we arranged to meet at a Lawson near her parents' house.

However, since it had been snowing in Ehime since the morning that day, there was a fair amount of snow piled up on the roads.

While I was waiting at the Lawson,

I got an email saying,

"The footing is bad because of the snow, so could you come pick me up at my house?"

So, after exchanging directions a few times, I managed to arrive at her house.

When I messaged her,

"I've arrived in front of your house,"

she replied,

"I'm coming out now," and after waiting a little while, she came out of the house.

I was a little surprised when I saw her at that time.

She was wearing a normal coat on top, but she had a super short miniskirt on the bottom.

I honestly felt like saying, 'Isn't that cold for a snowy day?'

But since there's a high chance that using even a slightly negative expression about a woman's fashion will leave a bad impression, I didn't say anything.

By the way, throughout our long relationship that continued after this, her fashion was always a miniskirt, regardless of the season—spring, summer, autumn, or winter. I never once saw her in anything other than a miniskirt.

And so, she got into the passenger seat, and we set off for the karaoke box.

Her: 'Let's go buy some drinks and food before we go to the karaoke box.'

Me: 'Oh, so it's a karaoke box that allows outside food and drinks. Let's do that then.'

Her: 'I booked a karaoke box called Manekineko. They allow outside food and drinks. Do you know a supermarket called Lamu?'

Me: 'I don't. There's no supermarket called Lamu in Kochi.'

Her: 'Oh, there's no Lamu in Kochi? It's a supermarket where everything is super cheap. It's so cheap that even in Tokyo, there aren't many supermarkets that are that cheap.'

It was true, as even she, who lived in Tokyo, called it 'cheaper than anywhere else,' and I actually felt that everything at Lamu was super cheap, with things like 'bento boxes for 198 yen.'

So, taking advantage of Lamu's low prices, I threw all sorts of things into the shopping basket—drinks, bento boxes, side dishes, and snacks—until I had four large plastic bags full of stuff.

No matter how cheap Lamu is, buying that much ended up costing quite a bit... maybe I made a mistake?

In fact, we couldn't possibly eat it all at the karaoke box, so I just handed the leftovers to her on the way home...

Anyway, we arrived at the karaoke box Manekineko.

Holding the four Lamu plastic bags in my hands to enter Manekineko, I followed behind her.

And then!!

We couldn't get in because we were still about an hour early for our reservation and they were fully booked.

So then!!

There was a MOS Burger diagonally across the street, so I decided to spend my time there until the appointment.

However, I felt like I had made a bit of a mistake.

I was still holding four large plastic shopping bags in my hands.

I still remember how much those bags were in the way inside the MOS Burger.

It was an experience that made me strongly feel, 'I should have left them in the car.'

By the way, in our later relationship, whenever I went to karaoke with her, we would enjoy 'all-day karaoke' from 11:00 AM to 8:00 PM, but for our first time, we only stayed together for about four hours.

Also, when I went to 'all-day karaoke' with her, she would sing songs like those in the image linked below, which were popular among women of her generation.

⇒ [Karaoke Box] All 48 songs I sang during a 9-hour all-you-can-sing karaoke session (JOYSOUND). I love BUCK-TICK! It's so lonely now that Atsushi Sakurai is gone...

And when the 'all-day karaoke' ended at 8:00 PM, we would always spend time talking from past 8:00 PM until just before midnight, either while eating at a family restaurant or while munching on hamburgers with a Coke in hand up on a mountain.

Her: 'After karaoke, talking like this at a family restaurant, it feels like I'm back in high school.'

Me: 'Haha, it's a bit embarrassing to be high schoolers at our age.'

Apparently, she used to go to karaoke and family restaurants with her friends a lot back in high school.

By the way, the 'hamburgers on a mountain' thing happened one day after karaoke when she said, 'I want to eat a hamburger,' so we bought some at McDonald's, stopped by La Mu, and bought her favorite 2-liter bottle of Coca-Cola Zero to drink.

And when we asked, 'Where should we eat the hamburgers?' she said,

'Let's go to the mountain and eat.'

That is what she said.

I had assumed she meant a mountaintop with a beautiful night view.

Me: 'Can you see the night view or anything?'

Her: 'Hmm, I wonder? Maybe?'

However, the place she led me to was just 'in the middle of a regular mountain' near her parents' house, covered in dense trees where no one would ever go at night unless they got lost, and far from seeing any night view, we couldn't even see a single light from a house.

About halfway up a mountain, after driving for about 10 minutes along a pitch-black mountain road with no lights, there was a shoulder-like area where about three cars could park. I parked the car there, and while saying things like, 'It's like a picnic, isn't it? Even though it's pitch black and we can't see any scenery,' we sat there from just after 8:00 PM until nearly midnight, eating hamburgers and drinking Coca-Cola Zero while talking.

Apparently, that place was a mountain she often played in when she was a child.

And the shoulder-like area where we parked was the parking space for a small shrine located further up the path.

By the way, even after that, whenever she would say 'Let's go to the mountain' after karaoke, we would buy hamburgers and Coca-Cola Zero Sugar and go to that mountain many times. For me, it was just 'in the middle of a normal mountain,' but for her, it might have been a special place imprinted as a 'fun place' due to the nostalgia of her childhood.

Returning to the story of when we first met, around the karaoke box...

There is something she said at our first 'Karaoke Box Manekineko' that I still remember today.

'I'm a shotacon. I've only ever dated guys younger than me.'

I see, a shotacon, huh.

In other words!!

I thought, 'She's indirectly telling me that there's no chance for someone two generations older than her.'

But one way or another, she seemed to be having fun the whole time, so the day we went to LAMU, Mos Burger, and karaoke ended with me thinking, 'I'm glad we had a good time.'

However!!

A few days later...

From her...

'I want to see you again'

I got that message.

'I hadn't gone back to Tokyo yet'

was one thing, but above all,

I was surprised that even though she was a shotacon, she wanted to see me again, even though I was two generations older than her.

In that way, from then on, until she passed away—that is, between 2018 and 2023—every time she returned home, she would contact me saying, 'I want to see you.'

She went back to her hometown quite often, so despite the long distance, we met more than ten times a year.

It's strange that she, who was supposed to be into younger guys, wanted to see me so much when I'm two generations older than her.

Of course, if she were the type who wasn't popular with men, that might be possible.

However, it seemed like she was actually quite popular.

Why, you ask...

One day, she said, 'I sold three things on Mercari again this week. I sell about three every week.'

Me: 'What are you selling?'

She: 'Presents. Everything I list on Mercari is a brand-name item. They sell well because I price them low.'

Me: 'Wow, that's amazing. Why do you have enough brand-name presents to sell?'

She: 'You might not think so, but I'm actually quite popular, you know?'

That was the exchange we had.

Well, certainly...

At 164 centimeters tall with a slender build, miniskirts looked great on her.

A cute face, always smiling, and a bright, kind personality.

Thinking about it, she had plenty of traits that made her popular...

For example, if I were a celebrity or a wealthy person who spent money lavishly on women, it wouldn't be strange at all for her to want to see me, even if I were two generations older.

However, she tended to be quite reserved about me spending money on her.

In fact, our shopping trips were always to the super-discount supermarket La Mu, and she even told me at Christmas, 'Just being able to see you is enough. I don't need any presents,' which makes me think that way.

By the way, for our very first Christmas, she had been saying since three months prior, 'I'm looking forward to seeing you at Christmas,' so I said, 'Yeah, but if it snows, the roads might freeze, so I won't be able to come see you.'

I remember how she kept repeating over and over again until Christmas, 'I hope it doesn't snow on Christmas.'

Fortunately, it didn't snow on Christmas, so we were able to enjoy a drive, a meal, and the illuminations together.

I left the Christmas dinner up to her since she was a food blogger, and she made the reservation, but I remember it was a set menu for about 3,000 yen per person—I wonder if she really thought the food was that good, or if she was just being considerate.

It was a very inexpensive meal for a Christmas date, but she seemed so happy, and I remember how she was excited throughout the entire meal, just like a child who couldn't contain her joy.

During that meal, she said to me, 'The next time we meet will be on Valentine's Day.'

However, I replied, 'I can't come on Valentine's Day because it's dangerous due to snow and ice.'

I still remember the slightly sad look that crossed her face at that moment.

In reality, the road from Kochi to her parents' home in Ehime is a mountain road, and it's a difficult route even under normal conditions, full of mountain passes and sharp curves.

Because it's a mountain road, the route is guaranteed to be covered in snow or ice during the winter months of January and February.

Driving through those difficult, snow-covered and icy mountain passes with many sharp curves in the middle of the night after meeting her could have resulted in my car slipping and plummeting straight into the valley, so I had no choice but to decline meeting on Valentine's Day.

Hmm...

This really turned into a rambling piece of writing...

There were many other episodes I had intended to write about, but...

Since it has already become quite long just with the episodes from when we first met, I think I'll stop here.

I might write about other episodes on her death anniversary or similar occasions, or perhaps I won't, as there may be many people who find these kinds of stories boring.

Well, I suppose if I see the number of likes and there is a demand for these kinds of stories, I might write more...

By the way...

Changing the subject slightly...

I think there are many men who worry about 'not being popular with women.'

I don't know if this will solve the problems of such people, but...

While I touched on it above, the conclusion remained unclear, so...

Do you know the reason why my shota-con girlfriend wanted to meet me, even though I'm twice her age?

By the way, she worked as a temp, and she had a way of working where she would take the job with the best hourly wage about every three months.

Because of that, it seems she had a ton of opportunities to meet new people.

One day, I asked her about it.

"You work at temp agencies for local governments, public offices, and listed companies, right? Wouldn't your future be secure if you found a good guy among the civil servants or elite corporate employees?"

Then, she said to me.

She: "Do you realize how rare you are, [Name]?"

Me: "In what way?"

She: "You're interesting, so it's fun to be with you. I only know one other person who is as interesting as you are."

Me: "I feel like there are tons of interesting people in Tokyo... is that not the case? By the way, what kind of person is that other interesting person?"

She: "A manager at an event company I used to work for."

Me: "I see... ?"

She: "I really think that someone who is fun to be with is the best... I started thinking that after I met you, [Name]."

That was the exchange we had.

By the way...

I am the type of person who absolutely never initiates contact.

If the other person reaches out, I will definitely respond, but I never initiate contact myself.

In other words, unless she contacted me saying something like 'I'm going back to my hometown, so I want to see you,' I never reached out to her at all.

Which means...

If the other person never contacted me, even if we were dating, that relationship would just naturally fade away.

I have dated over ten people in my life, but in reality, several of those relationships just faded away naturally.

However, I feel that those things are just unavoidable.

If the other person doesn't reach out to say they want to see me, doesn't that mean they don't want to see me either?

I feel that it would be a bit questionable to force the issue by asking them to meet up.

Well, there is no doubt that being overly persistent is one of the reasons why someone wouldn't be popular with the opposite sex...

They say the line between persistently asking someone out until they give in and being a stalker is very thin, but in reality, there isn't much difference.

You wouldn't be popular with that kind of behavior, would you?

Anyway, I feel that being too eager is not a good approach.

I sometimes wonder if it's okay for me not to even ask someone out once, but since I've been dating women with this style since I was young, I suppose it can't be helped.

After all, they say that if you chase, they run away, right?

Conversely, you could say that if you don't chase, they will come to you.

I think one of the reasons why women tell me they want to see me is precisely because I don't chase them.

In other words!!

Don't be persistent in asking them out.

Make women feel that being with you is fun.

Wouldn't you say that those are the secrets to being popular with women?

By the way...

You know how people who have lost their partners often tend to make resolutions like, 'I can't just keep moping around forever! I'll find someone new and live positively from now on!'?

Now that two full years have passed since she left, I think I should be ready to find someone new, but...

Unfortunately, I feel that the opportunity for me to date a woman in the future will likely never come.

When it comes to meeting people these days, isn't it usually through matching apps?

However...

I think my compatibility with things like matching apps is the worst.

Matching apps rely on responses from women, so to speak; even if a man takes action, he is almost completely ignored unless he is within a minimally acceptable age and appearance range.

In other words, in terms of a minimally acceptable age, someone like me who is older is excluded, so I can say that I cannot expect any responses at all.

If my strong point, as she used to say, is that 'you're fun to be with because you're interesting'...

I can say that nothing can start unless we meet and talk in person at least once.

However, because of my age, even matching is difficult, so I cannot expect to meet in person at all...

Thinking about it that way, I can only think that finding a new relationship is 'hopeless. A dead end.'

[Related Articles]
⇒ [Tosa Dialect] In Kochi, people say 'miteru' when someone dies or passes away... and other such stories
⇒ [May 27, 2024 | Anniversary of Death] The first anniversary of my late girlfriend's passing. ~Even though we were together so much
⇒ Kaimyo (Posthumous Buddhist Name), Homyo, and Hogo
⇒ [Considerations from Personal Experience] Do ghosts exist?
⇒ [Considerations from Personal Experience] Does the afterlife or the next life (reincarnation) exist?
⇒ [October 19, 2024 | Anniversary of Death] BUCK-TICK vocalist Atsushi Sakurai... the first anniversary of Acchan's passing.

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