[Paternity Leave] 7 things I'm glad I did during my 1-year paternity leave

I am a father, and I took a one-year paternity leave.

The story of why I took a whole year, I wrote about in a previous article, so please check that out if you'd like.

This time, it's the continuation of that.

I will honestly write about 7 things that I can say for sure, "I'm really glad I did this" after actually taking a year of paternity leave.

To start, I won't be introducing tips for putting a baby to sleep or convenient gadgets. There are already tons of articles like that. What I'm writing here iswhat worked to turn my paternity leave into the "best time of my life".

Now for the main topic. 7 things I'm glad I did during paternity leave

Here we go.

1. Go for walks with the child (just dad and child)

This isseriously recommended. It changed the quality of my paternity leave life the most.

Paternity leave tends to make you stay indoors. Butjust by not going outside or soaking up the sun, your mental health will drop significantly. I experienced this myself, and friends who took paternity leave all said the same thing. Walking releases something called "happiness hormone" serotonin, so it seems that walking is scientifically good for your mental health.

And the point is togo just the two of you, dad and child. Moms have almost zero free time. Just by dad taking the child out, he can give mom a little bit of free time during that period. You can also relax with the fresh air outside. The child is happy too. It's awin-win-win.

2. Make nighttime crying a "shift system"

During the period of nighttime crying, having your sleep broken up is really tough.

At first, we thought "it's pitiful to leave it to just one person," so both of us would wake up. But this leads toboth of you collapsing. In the morning, we'd both be standing there silently with zombie-like faces. Moreover, if that state continues, even just talking a little leads to fighting immediately. We were both always on the edge. Broken sleep really makes people go crazy.

After a while, we decided on ashift system like "it's me today" or "this time is mine," and we were able to sleep much more soundly. One of us can stay energetic. This works. We switched to formula early on, so it was easy to share the load, but even during the period when the wife had to wake up for breastfeeding, just having thewife cover the night and the husband cover the day makes a huge difference.

3. Dare to "spend money"

This is probably the most surprising part. I'm a person who has been steadily building assets for 7 years with high-dividend stocks.

That's why I decided something during my paternity leave. It was"to stop saving money."

During paternity leave, especially at the beginning, clothes, strollers, baby chairs... money is spent on everything. If you start thinking "this is expensive" or "I have to save," you end up saying things like "Isn't this expensive?" or "Isn't used okay?" Then, the wife's stress builds up and...

Actually, I made the atmosphere awkward a few times because of that. I still do it sometimes, haha.

Dare to spend money.
Why did I decide this?Because I seriously thought about what I would regret in life.

In the end, what remains are memories. You can't take money with you to the afterlife. And there is an expiration date on the things you want to do. Your child's 0th and 1st years will never come back. That's why I decided to prioritize time over money. Being able to stick to this principle might be the best thing I did during my paternity leave. Even if I were reborn, I would make the same choice.

4. Go on a trip on a weekday

This is especially recommended for salarymen and civil servants who can't usually do this.

・It's much cheaper
・It's not crowded
・It's easier to make reservations
・There are fewer people, so you don't have to worry as much if your child cries
・The feeling of guilt (haha)

It's full of great benefits.
What's especially good is splurging a little and staying at a nicer hotel than usual!

The place we went to was one I had wanted to visit at least once in my life: HOSHINOYA Taketomi Island.

Honestly, it was a pretty expensive hotel, but because it was a weekday, we were able to stay for about two-thirds of the weekend price, and the flights were also much cheaper.

The slowly flowing island time, the luxurious meals. Even the mishap where my child went to interact with the person in the next seat on the plane (haha)—all of it became the best memory.

Honestly, at first, I felt a bit guilty, thinking, "Is it okay to go on a trip without working on a weekday?" But think about it carefully. Child-rearing is much harder than work. That time where we could acknowledge each other by saying, "We're both working hard," was truly necessary nourishment for us as a couple. It was a luxury I could only afford because I was on paternity leave.

5. Have a community outside of family

During paternity leave, you hardly talk to anyone. All day long, it's just family and the baby. When that happens, you start to feel like your self-esteem and connection to society are quietly fading away.

But, having a community that is neither family nor work—just that alone saved me a lot. It could be friends, hobbies, or online. It's good to have one place where you can be yourself again.

6. When things get tough, escape into books

Paternity leave might actually be the last "substantial time for input" in your life. I often read books while my child was sleeping.

Precisely because it's a tough time, you are helped by words that strike a chord. When you come across a sentence that makes you think, "Let's try this," your mood suddenly lightens. I'll leave two books that were especially good for me.

"DIE WITH ZERO"... A book that says to spend money on "experiences" rather than saving it. This book really pushed me to make the decision in (3) to "stop worrying about money".

"The Couple as One Team Mindset"

I truly recommend this.

Even when you're both trying your best, there's this vague frustration you can't put into words, and things just feel awkward.

It was incredibly effective during such times.If you feel like your partner has been irritable lately or the atmosphere between you is tense, please give this a read.

Also, and I think this is especially true in the AI era, reading a book is also a dialogue with yourself. Precisely because AI can answer anything now, taking time to "deeply empathize with someone's words" is a very luxurious and important thing. If you're struggling or worried, try making time to open a book, even if it's just for 5 or 10 minutes. Surprisingly, it helps clear your mind.

7. Stop following investment "information"

Finally, this is another topic typical of a high-dividend stock nerd. But it's different from point 3. Point 3 was about the side that "spends" money, while this is about turning off the side that "grows" money for a while.

We both took paternity leave. In other words, our household income dropped to effectively about one person's salary. Honestly, the monthly cash flow was quite tough.

When you follow stock information during times like that, what happens? Every time you hear that "that stock is down," you get an itch to buy. And the more you follow it, the more your meager remaining funds get chipped away.

That's why this year I decided, "Unless a massive crash happens, I won't buy anything," and distanced myself from investment information itself. I intentionally stopped looking at stock prices and charts.

……Well, to be honest, it's not so much that I "wouldn't buy," but rather "I didn't have the cash, so I couldn't buy" (laughs). But in the end, this was incredibly good for my mental health. Just by not following the information, the time I spent being swayed by money anxieties decreased significantly.

Paternity leave was not a "vacation"

After taking a year off, I realized one thing clearly.

Paternity leave is not a vacation. It was a time to rebuild the foundation of my life.

Even if my career stalled a bit, or my assets decreased slightly, I'm glad I chose that year. Because I gained time that can never be bought back with money.

If you are currently hesitating about taking paternity leave, instead of thinking about "what should I do," try thinking about "what is a way to spend time that I won't regret?." I would be happy if these 7 points could be the first hint for that.

I've written my honest thoughts on dad's paternity leave here. Please refer to this article as well if you'd like.

The "money talk" I touched on in point 7—regarding the asset formation I've done with high-dividend stocks—is written in this article. I'd be happy if you followed me. See you later.

#PaternityLeave #MalePaternityLeave #DadsPaternityLeave #ChildRearing #HighDividendStocks #DIEWITHZERO #CivilServant #AssetFormation