I find comfort in time where no one identifies me

アユタヤ（タイ）のお土産屋さん。

私はポストカードを眺めていた。

寺院の写真、川沿いの夕暮れ、バラ、動物のイラスト。
ここでは、誰もわたしのことを知らない。
どこから来たのかも、どんな言葉を話すのかも、誰も気にしていない。

だからこそ、わたしは“誰でもない自分”でいられた。

その感覚が、ただ心地よかった。

At that moment, I heard it from behind me.
"They have this in Japan too, right?" "I'm not really a fan of perfume..."

It was Japanese.

Just a few meters away were some women on vacation.
Even though they were just having a pleasant conversation,
I felt as if my world had shrunk a little.

Suddenly, I became 'someone'.
Someone Japanese.

As if I were being watched, as if I had a name tag pinned to me,
that was the small sense of discomfort I felt.
Until just a moment ago, I was a nobody,
but I felt like I had been captured by something.

"A place where I can be a nobody"

Today, I finally understood the meaning of those words.
Time spent in a state where I am not reflected in anyone's eyes,
time spent simply existing.

Once the Japanese had passed by,

I bought a postcard.
The blank, white back side,
seemed just like 'anonymity' itself.

Being a nobody, with no one knowing which country I'm from.
No one recognizes me as an individual.
Perhaps that is what studying abroad is all about.

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