[Complete Edition] "Is that really so?" 12 Doors to Untie the Knots in Your Heart | Self-Work to Return to Your True Self

Self-work to live as yourself, not by someone else's definition of success

🌿 First published: 2025.9.14
🌿 Last updated: 2026.8.14

Hello.

It's Yukiyo-chan🌿

This work begins with

"Is that really so?"

a small question.

Every day, we live

surrounded by many "shoulds."

"I have to do things properly."

"This is how it's normally done."

"I have to try harder."

"I must not be disliked."

"I have to be a good parent."

"I must not fail."

"I have to be happy."

Without realizing it,

we sometimes direct such words toward ourselves.

But,

are those "obvious truths"

Is this really what you are choosing right now?

"Is that really so?"

This question is

not meant to deny someone else's thoughts.

It is not meant to find the correct answer either.

It is simply

to pause for a moment,

and ask yourself.

"How do I really feel?"

"What do I really want to do?"

It is a question for that purpose.

🌿 The reason I created this work

I myself

have lived within "how things should be" for a long time.

I have to do my best.

I have to do things properly.

I must not be a burden to others.

I must not be disliked.

I have to be happy.

I have to be loved.

Without even realizing those assumptions,

I was trying so hard,

to become a "proper version of myself."

But,

no matter how hard I tried,

for some reason, it was painful.

No matter how much I was loved,

I couldn't feel happy.

I felt down comparing myself to others.

I couldn't have confidence in myself.

"Why is it so hard for me to live?"

That is what I thought.

And,

as I looked inside myself little by little,

I realized something.

The reason it was painful,

was not because I was lacking something,

but perhaps because I was holding onto so many "shoulds" without even realizing it.

That was it.

🌿 "Shoulds" might have been protecting you all along

"I have to do my best"

"I must not be disliked"

"I have to do things properly"

"I must not trust people"

"I must not be happy"

When you notice such assumptions,

"Why do I think this way?"

and,

you may feel like blaming yourself.

But,

that,

might not have been born to make you suffer.

To be acknowledged.

To avoid being scolded.

To avoid being disliked.

To avoid being hurt.

To protect someone.

To protect your place.

For you at that time,

it might have been necessary.

So,

it is okay not to force yourself to let go.

"That way of thinking is wrong"

,

it is okay not to deny it.

First,

"Ah, so this is how I have been protecting myself"

,

acknowledge that.

We will start from there.

🌿 This journey is not meant to change you

When people feel distressed,

"Something is missing"

is what they end up thinking.

I need to gain more confidence.

I need to try harder.

I need to acquire more knowledge.

I need to become someone who is more loved.

But,

"Is that really true?"

Perhaps,

what you need,

is not to create a new self,

but to become aware of,

what you have been attaching to yourself until now.

One by one,

notice.

One by one,

untie.

And then,

little by little,

return to yourself.

This work,

is not about "becoming a more wonderful version of yourself."

It is a journey to regain your own sense of self, rather than following someone else's "correct" answer.

🌿 Comparing yourself to others is also one of them

Of course,

"comparing yourself to others"

is also,

one of the important themes of this journey.

When you see someone looking happy,

"I wish I were them."

you think.

And then,

"Compared to them, I..."

you feel down.

I have to try harder.

I have to grow more.

I'm still not good enough.

In that way,

you drive yourself forward.

But,

perhaps,

the reason you are suffering,

is not just because you "compare yourself to others,"

but because as a result of that comparison,

"I am not enough"

you might be telling yourself that.

Therefore,

here too,

I will ask you once.

"Is that really so?"

🌿 How to walk this journey

On this journey,

there is no correct way to proceed.

One door a week is fine.

Starting from a door that catches your interest is fine.

Opening the same door many times is fine.

Taking a break in the middle is also fine.

It is okay if you don't find an answer right away.

"I don't know"

is also an answer,

and an important realization.

What is important

is not to come up with a perfect answer.

It is to listen to your own voice,
by yourself.

This is time for that.

There is no need to compete with anyone.

There is no need to change quickly.

At your own pace,

Please proceed slowly.

🌿 This journey begins at the 0th door.

🔑 The 0th Door | Listening to the Voice of the Heart

Before opening the 12 doors,

first,

we will begin by preparing to notice the voice of your heart.

"How am I feeling right now?"

"What do I really want to do?"

Starting with such small questions,

please begin your journey back to your true self.

▶︎ Read the 0th door

🌕 Chapter 1 | Untying the Ropes of the Heart and Returning to Myself (Weeks 1-4)

First,

"Why do I compare myself to others?"

We will start by learning the reason for that.

Not to blame yourself,

but to understand the self that has worked so hard until now.

🌱 The 1st Door

There was a reason why I compared myself to others.

While tracing your life timeline,

We will look at the kindness hidden deep within comparison.

▶︎Read the 1st Door

🌱 2nd Door

Is "my ideal" really my own ideal?

Instead of someone else's correct answer,

we will remember your own unique sense of comfort.

▶︎Read the 2nd Door

🌱 3rd Door

Is it really true that "I have no value"?

Rather than focusing on achievements,

we will recall the value that lies in your very existence.

▶︎Read the 3rd Door

🌱 4th Door

Is it really true that "I should be this way"?

We will gently re-examine the

"I should..."

rules of the heart that you have been carrying

without even realizing it.

▶︎Read the 4th Door

Little by little,

"I compared myself again."

Instead of that,

"I see, I am comparing myself right now."

By saying this,

you will have more time to become aware of your own heart.

Each time that happens,

please ask yourself gently.

"Is that really true?"

🌖 Chapter 2 | Listening to the Voice of Your Heart and Finding Your Own Compass (Weeks 5-8)

Once the ropes around your heart have loosened a little,

next,

listen closely to the small voice coming from deep within your chest.

The emotions you have tried not to look at until now.

"These feelings are not okay."

The true feelings you have hidden away.

Each one of them,

rather than being an enemy that troubles you,

you will realize was a compass leading you to your true desires.

🌿 The 5th Door

What were your emotions trying to tell you?

Gently shine a light on

the emotions you have suppressed.

▶︎Read the 5th Door

🌿 The 6th Door

Deep down, beneath "how things should be," what did you really want to do?

We will go to welcome

the voice of your true self that has been sleeping deep within your heart.

▶︎Read the 6th Door

🌿 The 7th Door

"I'm envious" tells you your true desires.

Hidden within your longing,

we will find the happiness that is uniquely yours.

▶︎Read the 7th Door

🌿 The 8th Door

What is happiness just for me?

Not someone else's happiness,

but the happiness that makes your heart quietly rejoice, we will put into words.

▶︎Read the 8th Door

By this time,

from the days of chasing someone else's life,

Toward days of walking your own unique life,

the scenery has begun to change little by little.

🌔 Chapter 3 | A Journey to Remember Your True Self (Weeks 9-12)

At the final four doors,

we will go to meet,

one by one,

the many "selves" I have encountered until now.

The me who couldn't cry.

The me who tried too hard.

The me who protected myself by comparing.

All of them,

were my precious self.

🌸 The 9th Door

Thank you to the me from back then.

▶︎Read the 9th Door

🌸 The 10th Door

Was that pain really a fact?

▶︎Read the 10th Door

🌸 The 11th Door

Any emotion is allowed to be here.

▶︎ Read the 11th Door

🌸 The 12th Door

To my future self.

▶︎ Read the 12th Door

🌿 To you who have walked through the 12 doors

Up to this point,

you have walked through 12 doors.

The self that compares itself to others.

The self that has worked hard thinking, "This is how I should be."

The emotions you have suppressed.

What you truly desired.

The self from back then.

And,

the self from here on out.

While opening each and every door,

perhaps,

a version of yourself slightly different from before

may have come into view.

However,

the purpose of this journey is

It is not about "becoming a new you."

It is about noticing,

once again,

what has been within you all along.

It is not about someone else's correct answer,

but about valuing your own feelings.

"How do I actually feel?"

"What do I actually want to do?"

It is about being able to ask yourself

questions like these.

🌿 Even after the journey ends, "Is that really so?" continues

Once you have finished the 12 doors,

it does not mean all your worries will disappear.

There will be days when you compare yourself to others again.

"I have to do things properly"

There will be days when you think that.

There will be times when you are hurt by someone's words.

There will be times when you lose confidence.

There will be times when you feel lost.

And that is perfectly fine.

What is important is,

not that you will never suffer again.

It is that when you do suffer,

you can become aware of your own heart.

And,

once again,

you can return to yourself.

At such times,

please try to gently remember.

"Is that really so?"

🌿 "Is that really so?" is not an answer, but an entrance

This question,

has no fixed answer.

"That is not the case"

is not meant to deny it.

"Thinking this way is the correct answer"

is not meant to force a new answer upon you either.

Simply,

what you have believed until now,

for once,

Hold it in the palm of your hand,

and take a look at it.

"Why do I think that way?"

"Is this still necessary for me now?"

"What do I really want to do?"

By doing that,

you verify how you feel.

That small moment,

for living life as your true self,

might become a new gateway.

🌿 If you feel it is difficult to do alone

This journey,

you can walk it alone.

However,

when you look deeply inside yourself,

"I don't know what lies beyond this point"

"I can't notice it by myself"

"How should I accept these feelings?"

In such ways,

I think there will be times when you come to a standstill.

That is,

not a bad thing.

Rather,

it is precisely because you are carefully facing yourself that,

I believe there are times when you come to a standstill.

I am,

not someone who decides the answers for you.

"You should think about it this way"

,

I am not someone who hands you the correct answer either.

However,

"Is that really so?"

while holding that question together with you,

the feelings that exist within you,

I am here to help you discover them.

🌿 For those who would like to walk this journey with someone

On your own,

there are things that are hard to put into words.

By trying to talk to someone,

there are things you will notice for the first time.

Therefore,

I have also prepared time for us to walk this journey together.

For those joining for the first time,

**I offer a 90-minute individual session where we walk through the 0th and 1st doors together.**

90-minute individual session

is available.

About parenting.

About work.

About relationships.

About yourself.

The vague feelings you are experiencing now.

Feelings that haven't yet turned into words.

Anything at all is fine.

While listening to your story,

"Is that really so?"

through this question,

your own way of feeling,

we will look at together.

It is not my purpose

to decide the answer for you.

**For you to realize,

"This is how I actually felt."

is what I value above all else.**

I cherish that,

more than anything.

🌿 For those who want to return to themselves more slowly

If you feel,

"I would like to look a little deeper inside myself,"

"I feel like I might stop halfway if I'm on my own,"

"I want to continue this journey at my own pace,"

for those who feel this way,

I also offer accompaniment to walk with you,

from the second door to the twelfth door.

Once you open one door,

savor what you felt there,

in your daily life.

And then,

move on to the next door.

In that way,

Without rushing,

little by little.

Taking about three months,

we will slowly cultivate the habit

of valuing how you feel.

For details,

please see the information at the end of each article.

🌿 Epilogue | Your true self was here from the beginning

Thank you for reading

this far.

When you began this journey,

you might have thought,

"I want to change myself."

I want to have more confidence.

I want to be more positive.

I want to be someone who doesn't compare myself to others as much.

I want to be happier.

But,

now that you have walked through these 12 doors,

You might be seeing a slightly different landscape.

Perhaps,

what needed to change,

might not have been "you".

Until now,

the many things you have,

imposed upon yourself as "how things should be".

"I must do this"

"I must become this"

"If I don't do this, I won't be loved"

"If I don't do this, I can't be happy"

By noticing these things,

one by one.

And then,

the things that are no longer needed,

you begin to untie little by little.

Then,

from deep within,

the self that has always been there,

begins to appear little by little.

🌿 What it means to return to your true self

Returning to your true self is not

about going back to who you used to be,

nor is it about searching for

a new answer called your "true self."

It is about asking yourself,

right now,

how you are feeling,

what you want to cherish,

what you want to choose,

and what you want to let go of.

It is about asking yourself

each of these things.

It is about bringing your own feelings,

rather than someone else's correct answer,

back into your life

once again.

I believe that is

what it means to "return to yourself."

🌿 Whenever you feel lost, please try asking yourself these questions again

Also,

when you find yourself comparing yourself to others.

"I have to do it right"

when you think that.

when you realize you are trying too hard.

when you are trying to meet someone else's expectations.

when you hesitate to accept happiness.

"I'm not good enough as I am"

when you think that.

At times like that,

just once,

please try stopping for a moment.

And,

ask yourself.

"Is that really true?"

"How do I actually feel?"

"What do I actually want to do?"

"Is this still necessary for me now?"

It is okay if you don't find the answer right away.

It is okay if you don't know.

Simply,

ask yourself.

Even just by doing that,

you are already,

instead of following someone else's answer,

beginning to walk your own life.

🌿 Finally

You,

do not lack value,

just because you need to try harder.

You are not unlovable,

just because you need more confidence.

You are not unable to be happy,

just because you fail.

You are not insufficient,

just because you are not the same as someone else.

You are not unable to be happy,

just because you haven't achieved something.

Perhaps,

what you were looking for,

It may not be something you acquire anew,

but rather something you have,

"I don't need things like this"

and,

perhaps kept tucked away inside yourself all this time.

Your feelings.

Your true wishes.

Small feelings of discomfort.

The sensation of joy.

The sensation of sadness.

Being loved by someone.

Accepting someone's kindness.

And,

"I am fine as I am"

the feeling of being able to think that.

These things,

one by one,

you return to yourself.

🌿 Please come back here anytime

This journey is,

This is not the end.

From here on out,

in your life,

it will continue again and again.

When you are lost,

try opening these 12 doors.

The same door,

it is okay to open it many times.

Depending on who you are at that moment,

what you see will surely change.

And,

a new "Is that really so?"

might be born again.

That question,

please cherish it.

Not to find someone else's answer,

but to hear your own voice,

once more,

in order to listen.

You are,

It is okay to be yourself.

And,

your life,

you are free to choose for yourself.

There is no need to rush.

It is okay to be lost.

It is okay to stop.

At your own pace,

your life,

please keep walking.

If this journey,

for you,

"a place where you can return to yourself"

could become, I would be happy.

Lastly,

to you today as well.

Just one,

I deliver a question.

"Is that really so?"

The answer that lies beyond that question,

Please,

do not hand it over to anyone else.

Your answer

is within you🌿

🌿 Thank you for the introduction

You have featured this article in your magazine.

"I want to share this journey with someone else."

I am very happy that you shared it with that sentiment.
Thank you so much.

Thank you truly.

▶︎ Click here for the magazine