"Is a connection with the community necessary?" ...Is that really true?

At a school-related gathering,

"If you don't connect with the community, you'll be ostracized."

I have been told that before.

When I heard those words, I thought to myself,

"That's fine by me."

I thought that with a slight smile.

Of course, there are people who value their connection with the community.

There are also people who look forward to events.

That is fine as it is.

But I have always felt a sense of discomfort.

"A connection with the community is born from participating in events."

...Is that really true?

I, who chose not to participate

I never attended a single PTA meeting.

I am thinking of leaving the PTA next year as well.

The reason is simple.

For me, the burden is too great.

It is because there are things I want to cherish more than that time.

Things I cherish

My younger brother passed away this spring.

My father was left on his own, and I was commuting an hour and a half each way to be with him.

For me at that time, the most important thing was,

not listening to the teacher at PTA meetings,

but eating dinner with my father.

One day, my father said,

Hearing those words,

I felt that the time I had chosen to spend was not a mistake.

Do we have to be the same as everyone else?

I have two children with developmental tendencies.

Neither of them goes to school.

They have auditory hypersensitivity and struggle with loud noises.

Even with earmuffs on, the sound of drum practice can be painful for them.

They are also not good with places where many people gather.

For us, local festivals and events are,

rather than something to enjoy,

places we have to try hard just to participate in.

I myself am not fond of the smell of alcohol.

I am also not fond of the smell of meat.

I don't really like eating in large groups either.

So, to be honest,

I don't really want to participate in community events.

The abundance of love I've received from the community

But there is something I don't want you to misunderstand.

It's not that I dislike having a connection to the community.

The welfare commissioner who cares about children who don't attend school,

and goes out of their way to come to the house to check on them.

On the day of my younger brother's memorial service,

when I left the road maintenance work early,

"You forgot your dustpan."

the elderly neighbor who chased after me to say that.

When I had trouble with the land I purchased,

"I'll introduce you to someone I know."

there was someone who offered to help me like that.

I have been helped many times by such warm-hearted people.

It's not a connection through school.

It's not a connection through events either.

But it is certainly a connection to the community.

I feel truly grateful for it.

Are community events the only thing that matters?

That is why I,

do not mean to deny the importance of community connections.

What I want to question is,

"Connections to the community cannot be formed unless you participate in events."

...Is that really true?

The connection to the community that I feel,

is not about event participation rates.

It is not about whether or not you have served as an officer.

It is about being able to help each other when in trouble.

It is about being able to ask each other, "How are you?"

It is about someone caring for someone else.

It is the small kindnesses that exist in such daily life.

Toward a society where you can cherish what is important to you

"I have to keep doing this."

"I have to participate."

"Because that's how it's always been."

There are many such "common practices" in this society.

But,

are they truly necessary for who you are today?

Rather than forcing yourself to continue things that I think are unnecessary,

I want to choose what is truly important to me.

And, when it comes to connections with people,

I want to value the "heart" rather than the "form".

It's not about connecting just because you participated in an event,

but about having someone who will reach out a hand when you are in trouble.

And being able to care about someone else yourself.

To me, a connection to the community is,

the warmth found in such everyday life.

That is why I ask myself again today.

"Is that really true?"

That question,

is not meant to deny anyone.

It is not someone else's correct answer,

but a question to help me find my own answer.

What do you think?

After reading this article,

"This is what I think."

"I had a different idea."

If you have thoughts like these, please do let me know.

What does a "connection to the community" mean to you?

I would be happy if you could let me know your thoughts in the comments or through the survey.

https://forms.gle/kwQiGgdxy3E7k7mM9

Free Workshop: "There was a reason why I compare myself to others"

"I compare myself to others."
"I feel like I have to be the same as everyone else."

Hidden deep within those thoughts, there may be perceptions you haven't even noticed yourself.

In this free workshop, we will re-examine our perceptions by asking, "Is that really true?"

Why not spend some time with me finding your own answers, rather than someone else's version of what's right?

👉 The free workshop ishere

Recommended reading

• "I have to build my own core"—is that really true? → Coming tomorrow!

• There was a reason why I compare myself to others

• "I have to do things properly"—is that really true?

"Is that really true?" Series

"Is that really true?" is...

not about someone else's right answer,

but about increasing the number of people who can live as themselves.

It is a series written with that desire in mind.

I hope it serves as an opportunity for you to turn questions toward yourself.

Hashtags

#IsThatReallyTrue
#ChangingPerceptions
#SelfCore
#Assumptions
#PTA
#CommunityConnection
#SchoolNonAttendance
#DevelopmentalDisabilities
#Parenting
#ReexaminingLife
#Essay
#LivingAuthentically
#AskingQuestions
#note