Understanding Jungian Psychology Can Lighten the Hearts of HSPs. ~Shadow~ HSP/Occupational Therapist

Hello everyone.
I am a therapist who stays close to the heart.
I usually work as an occupational therapist.
At home, I am struggling with raising three boys.
My personality is that of a sensitive person, an HSP, and in my daily life, I often find things difficult or
there are many situations where living like everyone else is difficult.
Focusing on my own experiences...

I am posting this to help HSP individuals create comfortable days for themselves
using their own strength.

Now, this is sudden, but

I have several people I respect.

Seikan Kobayashi
Gautama Siddhartha (Shaka/Buddha)
Hitori Saito
Carl Gustav Jung (Jungian Psychology)
Abraham

Although I have never met any of them in person,
they are people who have had a great influence on my own values.

Some of them are no longer with us, but the fact that they can continue to influence people
even after they have passed away
is truly wonderful, and I respect them for it.

And, the teachings of those people all have something in common,

You don't have to try so hard.
It is enough to just love yourself as you are.

These are very, very gentle teachings that are eye-opening for HSPs
who tend to try too hard and get exhausted.

This time, among the people I respect,

I would like to talk about Jungian psychology.

Jungian psychology. Have you all heard of it?

When it comes to psychology, the three great masters, Jung, Freud, and Adler, are famous, aren't they?

Jung was the founder of "analytical psychology",
created new concepts such as the "collective unconscious",
and was the person who clarified that humans have both things they are conscious of
and a realm of the "unconscious".

Nowadays, terms like unconscious and subconscious are used as a matter of course,
but Jung was the pioneer of those terms.

There are seven representative ideas of Jung.

・Collective Unconscious
・Typology
・Archetype Theory
・Anima, Animus
・Persona
・Complex
・Shadow

These are all unfamiliar terms, aren't they?

Among them, I would like to talk a little bit about the "Shadow" in Jungian psychology this time.
I would like to talk a little bit about it.

What is the Shadow?

It is the repressed, unconscious part within the mind.

I think everyone, in the course of living, inevitably encounters situations where they meet people they dislike or find difficult.

That emotion is very unpleasant, and it feels like fogginess or irritation
welling up from the bottom of one's stomach.

There is a saying that others are a mirror of yourself,

but the unconscious is a side of yourself that you cannot see, so it is a part that can only be understood through someone else.

The true nature of this fogginess and irritation is your own true self, which you have unconsciously been enduring, turning a blind eye to, or suppressing.

These are called the Shadow.

The Influence of the Shadow

The Shadow is,

a state where, due to some cause in the past,
you have experienced not being accepted by others, and have suppressed and
hidden your true self.

In order not to get hurt anymore, you put a mask on your true self
and are trying to protect yourself.

Putting on a mask means that it is not your true self.

There are situations where it is necessary to consciously wear a mask in order to get along smoothly in society.

However, the shadow is an emotion that is suppressed in the unconscious.

Consciously wearing a mask and unconsciously hiding one's true self are
very different things.

This unconscious aspect is very troublesome, because
you usually don't feel like you are suppressing anything, so stress accumulates without you knowing it, and once it exceeds a certain point,

physical symptoms such as headaches, fatigue, and dizziness occur.
Or your mind becomes exhausted, leading to burnout or depression.

In this way, you become tired of living.

Before that happens, it becomes necessary to face and improve upon
your shadow.

How to face your shadow

I explained that the shadow is an emotion that has been suppressed in the unconscious,

but first, you need to bring the emotions that are in the unconscious
into your conscious mind.

To bring them into your conscious mind,
the most important thingis to accept them.

When you hear the word 'accept,' you might think that you have to accept and like everyone you dislike.

To conclude, you do not need to like them.

After all, you dislike them...

To rephrase, accepting something means
objectively analyzing the unpleasant parts of someone you dislike and recognizing that
they and you are different people.

Disliking someone means that, just like me, the other person is thinking,
'They should do XX. Even though I am holding back.'

These feelings are hidden underneath.

Even though I am holding back and doing my best. This 'holding back' equals 'suppression'.

Acknowledge those emotions and intentionally create a state where you are not holding back.

Yes! The goal is to reach a state where you are not holding back.

To explain that state of not holding back a little more...

1. Tasks to be aware of

It starts with recognition. Recognizing that you have similar traits to the parts of the other person you dislike. Once you can do this consciously, the unpleasant feelings will naturally diminish.

Example) Analysis: I dislike how that person charms everyone. -> I also want to try interacting with everyone with a smile like that person. -> Then, I will try to smile when I greet people.

2. Choosing ways of living and values to accept

Of course, you cannot accept and overcome every shadow. In such cases, by accepting that 'this is also part of who I am,' you will stop reacting to the other person.

Example) Analysis: I dislike how that person charms everyone. -> That person is someone who can smile at everyone without discrimination. -> But if I do that, I get exhausted. -> So, it is fine for me to stay as I am. It is also fine for that person to stay as they are.

Methods for self-work (the necessity of writing things down)

I have previously posted about writing exercises,

In society, we often hear that writing tasks like gratitude journals, manifestation journals, and mandala charts are very beneficial,

I personally also feel that writing things down (outputting) is a very good thing.

As we live in what is called an information society, ever since social media became widespread, new information comes in rapidly every day, doesn't it?

Because of their rich sensitivity, I feel that HSPs are easily swayed by the information that changes daily, and they tend to become less sensitive to their own emotions and feelings.

It is not that you shouldn't watch TikTok or YouTube.

I also have to gather information for my 'oshi-katsu' (supporting my favorite idol), and I like tarot, so I watch tarot videos. I like shrines, so I watch videos of recommended shrines. I also have to check skincare information for buying on Qoo10 (Mega Discount). (This is important!!)

↑ But these all count as input.

If you only do input, your own core feelings will waver, and in the end, you will become lost in the search for happiness, wondering, 'What is it that I want to do?'

↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑↑
They post about input and output in a very easy-to-understand way!!! I recommend this as well, so please do give it a read.

The Shadow
may not be a fun task because it requires facing parts of yourself that you haven't looked at before and want to run away from.

However, there is no doubt that after you face, accept, and overcome them, your daily life will become much easier to live than it is now.

Self-Work (Practice)

From here on, I will
explain how to work on facing your shadow.

This self-work on the shadow is not just for this specific exercise;
by writing things out visually, you can organize your thoughts and view things objectively, so I believe it can be applied in various situations.

Preparation: A blank sheet of paper (or notebook) and a pen

Step 1: Write down the aspects of the person who represents your shadow that you dislike or find difficult to deal with (A)
〇 A colleague at the same workplace
・Talks too much, chatty
・Noisy

Step 2: Write down the positive elements of the disliked aspects you listed (B)

・Able to provide topics for others to talk about.
・Good at keeping a conversation going.
・Quick-witted.
・Excellent at small talk.
・Makes the atmosphere lively.
※ If you cannot think of any positive aspects, it might be good to try using an internet search.

Step 3: Elements that are the exact opposite of (A) (C)

・Quiet

・Calm
・Able to listen to others a lot
※ These are close to the elements you usually incorporate yourself.

※ It is necessary to first understand the reason why you feel that "talking too much, being chatty, or being noisy" is unpleasant. Once you understand that, proceeding to Step 4 will allow you to finally decide how you should act.

Step 4: Integrate and select from (B) and (C) to suit yourself.
(Selection) 1. Will you incorporate the positive elements of (B)?
2. Will you recognize that (B) is just one way of thinking, and accept (C) as it is as a positive element?

3. While acknowledging the positive elements of (C), will you also incorporate elements of (B)?

Answers (Examples)
・I prefer spending time quietly, and I like listening to others more than talking a lot myself, so I will accept myself as I am.

・I like listening to others, but I also want to talk a bit more myself, and I want to try talking to various people. Maybe I'll start by greeting people with a smile.

For yourself, the four steps above are sufficient, but

additionally,
being able to think about the fundamental causes in the background is the perspective of those who are studying psychology.

・Talking too much, chatty, noisy = unpleasant.
→something, there is something you are suppressing within yourself.

Thissomething... becomes the fundamental background.

Example) Thinking that being lively is bad.

(Cause) 〇 It might be parental upbringing
"It is beautiful for a woman to be quiet"
"Being lively is unseemly"
〇 Someone told you "You are noisy" in childhood
→ That memory became a trauma, and you became someone who speaks less.

The above analogy is just one example, but
as I listen to and delve deeper into each person's story, their individual narratives
begin to emerge.

This exercise is not about forgiving those you cannot forgive.
It is an exercise for the growth of your own heart.

“Acknowledging that these unpleasant parts are also a part of myself.”

Understanding that there is also the option to accept that it is okay to dislike things.

Create a place for your shadow.
It is important to acknowledge it.

Finally...

Regarding the shadow, Jung

said,

“There is gold hidden in the shadow.”

Hidden within the shadow are the things you truly desire and hints for growth that can make life easier to live.

Let's work together to make daily life easier for HSPs and highly sensitive people.