Small Rules to Keep Tough Days from Getting Worse
On tough days, the harder I tried to bounce back, the further I fell.
On tough days, I used to try so hard to bounce back.
Maybe I'd feel different if I went to bed early.
Maybe I'd feel better if I read an uplifting book.
I've even told myself "it's okay" over and over.
But every time I forced myself up, I fell even harder later.
Every time I tried to get better, I only highlighted the fact that I couldn't.
Tough days don't just go away.
There was a time when I searched for ways to feel better.
I used to collect positive quotes.
I've even forced myself to smile to lift my spirits.
But then I realized.
Being "positive" on a tough day is usually impossible.
When you try to force yourself up,
there is almost always a backlash later.
So, I changed my goal.
I stopped trying to "get better."
There was a time when I searched for ways to feel better.
I used to collect positive quotes.
I've even forced myself to smile to lift my spirits.
But then I realized.
Being "positive" on a tough day is usually impossible.
When you try to force yourself up, there is almost always a backlash later.
So, I changed my goal.
I stopped trying to "get better."
Small rules to keep things from getting any worse
Instead, I decided to focus on "not making things any worse."
It doesn't have to get better.
But I won't let it reach the point of breaking.
I have small rules for that.
1. Don't make any big decisions
Quitting.
Cutting off relationships.
Sending long messages.
I leave those things to the version of me that's having a good day.
Judgments made on tough days are usually extreme.
"I want to quit everything."
"It would be better if I weren't here."
Thoughts like those are often just being pulled by how I feel that day.
I don't entrust life-altering decisions to my mood of the day.
2. Create days where you don't compare yourself
Don't look at social media.
Don't compare yourself to your coworkers.
Don't use "normal" as a benchmark.
On tough days, your self-esteem is already low.
If you add comparison on top of that, you'll sink all at once.
Comparison easily destroys you.
Someone else's "normal" is not my standard.
Just deciding that allows me to breathe a little easier.
3. Decide to make it a day of protection
It's not a day to produce results.
It's not a day to improve your performance review.
It's a day to avoid accidents.
My goal is just not to fall.
There are days when my mind goes blank while working.
There are days when my hands stop moving.
On days like that, I don't try to speed up.
Low-altitude flight is fine.
As long as I don't crash, that's enough.
Even if there are days I can't keep them, just having the rules makes a difference
Of course, I can't do all of this every time.
There are days I take my medicine and still end up bedridden.
There are times when my brain stops working at work and I just zone out.
Just because I made rules doesn't mean I've become strong.
Even so, just having them decided makes a difference.
There are days I can't keep them, and times I find myself blaming myself.
Still, I've become a little harder to break than I was when I had no rules at all.
You don't have to move forward on tough days
Choosing not to let things get worse is not running away.
There are days when you can't move forward. There are days when you can't do anything.
Even so, I believe that choosing not to break yourself is a commendable effort.
The speed at which you blame yourself slows down just a little.
The probability of running until you break down drops just a little.
On tough days, you don't have to move forward.
But you can decide for yourself how far you let things slide.
That is the one thing I will not let go of.
The very last rule
Actually, there is one more rule I hold dear.
It is the one that keeps me from breaking the most.
But that is a bit of a long story, so I think I will write about it in another article.
Thank you for reading this far.
In this note, I write about the days of working while carrying invisible burdens.
I am writing, little by little, about how to work without breaking.
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