[Childcare] Isn't it pitiful when a baby is crying? | 0y1m | C-11
My son (my first child) was born in the autumn of 2025.
I am posting records of my baby's upbringing with a slight delay.
When a baby is crying and just won't stop no matter what you do.
"Am I doing something wrong?"
"I want to cry too!!"
Don't you tend to get nervous thinking things like that?
It is often said that a baby's "job is to cry," but in this post, I will discuss the act of a baby "crying."
A baby's job is to "cry"
Babies are creatures that cry a lot.
Since they cannot speak to make requests,
・I'm hungry
・My diaper is uncomfortable
・I'm hot
they communicate all such "requests" by "crying."
Besides that, even without requests,
・I feel uncomfortable in my stomach
(constipated or loose stools)
・I feel anxious because it gets dark at dusk
・I feel a bit lonely today
・Something is different than usual (I'm curious)
・My body feels sluggish and I want to let off some steam
they often "cry" for reasons like these as well.
When a baby starts crying, you might panic thinking,
"Oh no! They're crying!"
but...
Crying itself is not a problem; rather, it means the baby is "successfully communicating" the source of their "requests" or "emotions," so it is a normal state.
The devil's words: "Poor thing"
Now, imagine a situation where a baby starts crying while an elder (such as the baby's grandparents) is nearby.
"Oh my, they're crying so much."
Now, here comes the next phrase.
Please prepare yourself for the shock.
↓ ↓ ↓
↓ ↓ ↓
↓ ↓ ↓
“Oh my, crying so much.
How pitiful.”
In this moment, the characters form a composition of
・A pitiful baby
・A parent making them suffer
・An elder pointing it out
as the structure.
And then, you end up blaming yourself, thinking, “Oh, what a terrible parent I am, unfit to be a parent—unfit to be a human.”
But it’s okay.
A baby “crying” is a “normal” state.
No one is at fault.
By the way, if you look closely at the word “kawaisou” (pitiful),
it contains the character for “thought” (想).
It is written as “thinking it might be sad,”
which makes it “kawaisou.”
In other words, “kawaisou” is merely something the speaker has “thought of,” and is nothing more than a personal impression.
On the other hand, in our country, Japan, freedom of thought and freedom of expression are guaranteed, so there is no need to have any special feelings toward the person who said it.
…Though, if it’s my own parent who says it, I end up talking back quite strongly (lol).
They aren't crying because they are sad
If an adult is crying their eyes out, it might be because something sad happened.
However, for a baby, especially in the neonatal period, the reason they are crying is, as I wrote at the beginning, almost always because “they have some kind of demand.”
As a result of observing how my own little boy cries, the “emotions” only appeared as differences in the way he cried when he was “around five months old.”
Before that, when the baby started crying, I would go through the most likely possibilities one by one:
“You just had your diaper changed, right?”
“It’s only been two hours, but do you want milk?”
“Shall we get a little fresh night air?”
and finally
“Yeah, there’s no reason for this, it’s just one of those times they want to cry.”
That happened quite often.
Also, it is said that by crying and making noise, the digestive system is stimulated, which can sometimes relieve discomfort around the stomach.
Lullabies for when they are crying
Speaking of songs to stop a baby from crying!
In this world where I can't even say what I want to say, Poison
I will live without deceiving myself, Oh, oh
(omitted)
I don't want to be manipulated by dirty lies and words, Poison
I don't want to look away from my honest feelings
Is there any other song that expresses life with a baby as well as this one? No, there isn't.
...That is to say,
I think it's a great song that embodies a baby who cries to communicate because they "can't say what they want to say."
In our home, besides Poison, Dad often sings this one.
Surely everyone, everyone must have it
The moment when you suddenly realize you are crying
Without even being able to think of a reason
Tears spill over
Even if you aren't a baby, everyone has times when they suddenly realize they are crying, so there is no need to get too nervous thinking, "Oh no, they're crying! What should I do!"
Summary
Thank you as always for reading my long post.
This time, my point was that even if your baby is crying, no matter what others might say,a baby is not a "pitiful being."
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