Letting Go of Perfectionism Accelerates Growth #19

The stronger the desire to grow, the more likely one is to set goals that are too high.

And then, one continues to work toward those goals seriously, honestly, and sometimes stoically.

That simply means one has a high motivation for growth.
However, if you impose too much of a requirement on yourself to grow, you become what is known as a "perfectionist."

When that happens, if you find you aren't growing as well as you'd like, you may fall into a state of self-blame, which ends up causing you suffering.

■ Viewing yourself through the lens of others

Perfectionists tend to evaluate themselves through the lens of others without realizing it.

How do I compare to those around me?
How close am I to my ideal?

As a result, seeing yourself fall short of your ideals can lead to feelings of inferiority, self-loathing, and despair.

The grass always looks greener on the other side.

However, there is another way to look at this.
Suffering because of the gap between you and your ideal also means...
that you have high standards for yourself.

In other words, it can be said that you are in a state with high potential for growth.

■ What is a 'bad day'?

My son was a judo athlete in high school.

He would go to school early for morning practice and train until late at night.
He practiced all day on weekends, with almost no breaks.

I often asked my son, who lived such a life, the following:

"How have you been doing lately?"

The answer was always the same:
• 50% said "average"
• 40% said "I was having a bad day"
• 10% said "I was having a good day"

His expression was somewhat dull, and at times he even looked like he had given up.

However, the fact is that my son had achieved:

• 2nd place in the prefectural tournament during junior high
• Top 8 in the Kanto tournament
He was by no means an "incompetent athlete."

So why did he feel that way?

It was because the high school he entered was a powerhouse at the national level.

There were athletes around him with higher ability than his own.

Being in that environment made him feel...



"I still have a long way to go."
However, there is another way to look at this as well.The very fact that he was in that environment is also...



"proof that he was competing at a high level."

■ Changing your perspective changes the meaning

For example, consider those 40% of days my son called "bad days."

What happens if we use this as a baseline?

Then:
• The 50% of days that were "average" → actually become "good days"
• The 10% of days that were "good" → become "excellent days"

The events themselves have not changed at all.

What has changed is only how you perceive yourself.

■ Is it only half full, or is it still half full?

It is a common analogy, but when you are stranded in the desert and your water is down to half,

do you think, "There is only half left," or
do you think, "There is still half left"?

Even in the same situation, your subsequent actions and mental state will change significantly.

Drucker also stated this:

Saying a glass is "half full" and "half empty" is the same in terms of quantity.
But the meaning is completely different.

And this "difference in meaning" is exactly what...
changes your next action and changes the result.

■ Communication with yourself

When we hear the word communication, we tend to think of interactions with others.

However, in reality, the most influential form is...
"communication with yourself."You step outside yourself to view "yourself as another person."

This is a concept called...

"position change."• Where am I right now?• What am I capable of, and what are my challenges?
Observing these things calmly is the start of growth.

Not pushing yourself too hard is not an excuse for laziness

It is important to work hard toward your goals.

However, you do not need to keep running at full speed all the time.

Rather:
• Feeling tired → "Proof that I worked hard"
• Pace slowing down → "I am adjusting"

By adopting this way of thinking, also known as positive reframing,
you can lead to sustainable growth.

Even a car's engine will burn out if it is always running at full throttle.

If you speed too much, your field of vision narrows and you will cause an accident.

Having margin is not a detour, but a "strategy."

■ The true meaning of positive

There is one important thing here.

Being positive does not mean...
"looking away from reality."
• Acknowledge mistakes as mistakes
• Learn from failures
• Apply them to the next step

Only with this sequence of actions does being positive function.

Pretending not to see failure is not being positive; it is just "mere optimism."

■ Turning perfectionism into a strength

If you change your perspective, perfectionism is...
"a strength that allows you to hold high standards."That is precisely why what is needed is:

• Not comparing yourself too much with others
• Seeing your current location correctly
• Changing your perspective flexibly
Evaluate yourself based on your own standards,

and sometimes view yourself objectively through the lens of others.

And treat even feelings of inferiority as...


"material for growth."
This back-and-forth is the very process of growth.

■ You do not need to stop aiming for perfection.

However,
you can choose how you perceive it.

That choice will transform the same effort into either "suffering" or "a sense of growth."