The song that brought my depressed heart back after a long time: Franz Ferdinand's 'This Fire'

Introduction

For about three weeks...
I have been in the midst of a 'relapse' of my depression.

This period is,
truly strange for me,
and cruel as well.

My interest in music, movies, and all forms of entertainment that I used to love so much,
disappears in an instant,
as if the power to my heart had been unplugged.

My motivation to be active drops significantly,
and I have no idea why.

Honestly, these are days so painful they make me want to cry.

Because I cannot get anything done,
an unfathomable sense of guilt and anxiety attacks me.

'I am sorry to the world'

'Am I no longer,
capable of being of any use?'

Tormented by such fears,
I endlessly ruminate on negative thoughts in my head,
locking myself in a cage of my own heart.

In that darkness today,
I listened to music for the first time in a while.

That was,
Franz Ferdinand's

'This Fire'.

[A note in advance]
This article contains many personal observations and opinions by the author (Utsuro Tabata).

📢 [Important Notice]
The product links and introductions used in this article,
are not for any commercial purpose,
such as affiliate commissions.
I am writing this purely with the desire to convey the appeal of the 'artist' and the 'song'.

1. The sharp guitar riff that rang out

I played the music,
and the moment that sharp guitar riff in the intro
rang out.

A flash of light ran through my brain,
for the first time in a long while.

It was so cool that my whole body felt warm,
and an intense, liberating sense of exhilaration washed over me
.

The feeling that the power to my heart, which had been off for three weeks,
was forcibly switched 'ON' in that instant.

Before I could even think about it,
the blood in my body began to stir.

It had been a very long time
since I had experienced a sensation like that.

2. The inner fire that refuses to be controlled

What exactly is this song, 'This Fire',
singing about?

In the lyrics, they shout this:

The 'city' mentioned here
is not just a landscape of concrete.

The social rules and public expectations that bind me.

And above all,
the things that had been ringing endlessly in my head

'I must do this'

'I'm useless if I can't be of help'

I feel it is the very
system of cold, rigid thinking
itself.

It felt as if an instinctual, burning impulse
that was 'out of control'
had instantly burned down the cage of ruminating thoughts
that had been tormenting me.

3. The masterpiece game 'Cyberpunk 2077'

Actually, this song is
one of the 'three greatest games' in my life.

'Cyberpunk 2077'

is a game deeply connected to this song.

A desperate and decadent future city
ruled by an unreasonable system.

There,
relying only on the spark of their own lives,
the protagonists resist and run through it.

That overwhelming worldview
the moment I heard the song,
vividly connected with my memories.

'No matter how desperate the situation,
no one can take away the fire within me'

It brought back memories of playing a masterpiece game and
feeling moved.

It pushed me up from the darkness
with intense energy.

In closing

If there is someone out there who, like me,
is suffering from an unknown cause
and keeps blaming themselves.

You don't need to know the cause.

You don't need to be able to do anything.

Just,
if listening to this song makes your heart tremble with the thought that it's 'cool,' even for just a moment, that is enough

.

Even if you feel like you are being crushed
by cold guilt,
the fire of life inside us
has not yet gone out.

You don't need to be able to control it.

Why not stop trying to control it with your head
for once,
and try believing in that small heat
within yourself?

The 'This Fire' in your heart, too,
must surely be waiting quietly
for the moment the next flame is lit.

Novel 'Shiro the Optician Sees Too Much' 2026 Creative Award Entry 👓

Shiro, the 'manager who sees too much,' and
Saki-chan, the 'employee who sees too little.' A comedy of glasses-related mysteries filled with laughter and tears from an mismatched duo who just don't click.

▼ Read the novel 'Shiro the Optician Sees Too Much'

Original Music & Voice Songs 🎸

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and even as someone living with depression.
This is a challenging project where I sample my own singing voiceand turn the scenery in my heart into music.

▼ Listen to the song 'Psychedelic Parade'

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May your every day
become even a little lighter.
Thank you for reading.