People you can be with without feeling tired

I sometimes find it strange.

Even though I spend the same amount of time,

the state I am in when I return home is completely different.

On days when I meet certain people,

I cannot move for a while after arriving home.

Even though the conversation should have been fun,

my heart feels like it has been left behind, just a little.

The face reflected in the train window,

looks just a little bit tired.

The reason for that,

I do not know at the time.

But,

days when I meet other people are different.

We didn't talk about anything special.

There weren't any particularly memorable words.

And yet,

my steps feel lighter on the way home.

My breathing isn't shallow.

I never noticed,

that difference for a long time.

I thought it was just about whether we got along.

I thought it was just about whether the conversation was lively.

But it was different.

The reason I get tired is,

It wasn't about meeting people itself.

It was about,

how much I was unconsciously adjusting myself in that situation.

That was all it was.

In front of some people,

I adjust my way of speaking, my facial expressions, and my reactions little by little.

So that I won't be disliked.

So that I won't be thought of as strange.

So that I won't ruin the atmosphere.

That small tension continues on and on.

While doing that,

even though the conversation is continuing,

A part of your heart is slowly hardening.

You are smiling.

You are nodding.

You are doing just fine.

And yet,

your breathing is shallow somewhere.

Conversely,

in front of someone who doesn't tire you out,

silence is not scary.

You feel it's okay not to respond perfectly.

It's okay to take time to find the right words.

Even if you stay silent,

It just flows as it is.

The difference was

not in the content of the conversation.

It was just

that the depth of their breathing was different.

A night spent with someone.

After I got home and took off my shoes,

I stood in the entryway for a while.

I don't know what I was doing.

I was just

waiting for my own feelings to return.

It wasn't that the way home was long.

On the way home,

I had finally returned to myself.

Even on days spent with someone who doesn't tire me out,

I head home the same way.

But at those times,

I enter my room naturally,

and can go straight back to my daily life.

What's strange is,

that in front of that person,

it's not that I'm

not acting properly.

If anything, just a little bit,

the unnecessary tension is gone.

It's okay to make mistakes.

It is okay if you stumble over your words.

That kind of comfort,

is somewhere there.

So, before you even realize it,

the space within yourself returns.

I think about it after I get home.

Today,

I didn't do anything special.

And yet,

I don't feel strangely tired.

I put down my keys,

take off my jacket,

and sit down on the sofa.

Outside the window,

it was the usual night.

The only thing that was different was,

that I was able to bring myself back home.

Just like that,

my breath started to return a little deeper.

🌸 If this piece resonated with you, please take a look at these articles as well.

I write on the themes of "distance from others," "how to deal with yourself," and "calming your mind."

I would be happy if you could read them little by little at your own pace.😊

"Peace of mind" is not something you find somewhere else, but something you can cultivate little by little within yourself. I wrote about the thoughts that became the starting point for what I share now.↓↓↓

This is an article that digs a little deeper into the difference between "someone who makes you tired" and "someone who doesn't."↓↓↓

I wrote about the day I realized that the feeling I thought was "dislike" was actually "exhaustion."↓↓↓

The more sensitive a person is to others' feelings and the atmosphere, the more they tend to carry on their shoulders.↓↓↓

Before being kind to others, it is okay to be kind to yourself.
This is an article written about that kind of comfort.↓↓↓↓

This is a representative work that expresses the HSP sense using the phrase "listening to the atmosphere."↓↓↓

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