Father's Note Episode 4

December 1997

To Shuta,
It's been about half a year since I last opened this note.
It's already the end of the year, the shop is busy, and New Year's is just around the corner.

Do you remember the Christmas present from this time?
Dad bought you a baseball glove, Shuta.
You said, 'I want to play baseball!' and asked Santa for one, so I bought it.
I also heard from Mom that you're going to visit the youth baseball team at your elementary school next month.

I haven't given you the glove yet, but
you are really taking on so many new challenges, Shuta.

Today you're at home with Mom, and I'm here alone,
writing this after closing the shop.
I'm sorry I'm always home late, Dad.
I feel bad for making you feel lonely.

By the way,
do you have a 'best friend' now that you're reading this note?
It doesn't have to be just one person.
It's fine to have as many as you want.

A best friend is someone who helps you no matter the situation, listens to you,
and someone you can say,
'I am who I am today because of you!' to.

If you feel in your heart that this person is your best friend,
then that's all that matters.

I have many.
The interior of Motonoya was also built with the help of all my best friends.

If you have such best friends,
have you ever told them how grateful you are?

If you haven't told them yet,
I want you to try expressing your gratitude.

Expressing gratitude to a best friend.
Just by doing that, you can become a man with an even bigger heart than you have now.

Even if you don't have anyone you can call a best friend,
Dad is your best friend.
No matter how old you get,
I want to be both a parent and a best friend to you.

I'll stop here for today and write again later.

Shuta, as you read this note,
you are truly growing so much.

Seeing you like that,
makes me truly happy.

If you're ever in trouble, don't hesitate to ask me anything.

Well then, see you on the next page.

From Dad.

At Motonoya, before Christmas.

Having finished reading the second page, I felt something hot welling up inside me.
Dad's feelings for me were conveyed through this note.

I wonder if my father was like a best friend to me.
But in truth, that is how I wanted to relate to him.

And perhaps because I am shy,
when I think about it, I am not good at expressing sincere gratitude to anyone.
Of course, when I am working as a hairdresser,
I think I am able to express sincere gratitude to my customers.

But when it comes to whether I can express gratitude to the important people close to me, I am completely unable to do so.

I always ended up treating my mother and father
with a cold attitude.

Gratitude to a best friend, huh...
I don't really feel like it.

But perhaps,
just like my father, I too could suddenly disappear from this world tomorrow.

Who do I owe the person I am today to?

That's right,
maybe I should try contacting Shohei.

Shohei has been my best friend since middle school and knows everything about me. We were together every day, and when we entered high school, we had the same part-time job. We went to the same beauty vocational school, too. When we got jobs in Tokyo, even though our workplaces were different, we happened to live three stations apart, so we have an inseparable bond.
The reason I pursued the path of a hairdresser and have been able to spend every day happily despite everything is thanks to Shohei
saying, "I'm going to be a hairdresser!" and inviting me, "Let's go together!"

As I mentioned on the previous page,
it was also Shohei who guided my current "way of life."
I felt an irresistible urge to talk to Shohei,
and I tried to call him in Tokyo right away.

But when I looked at the clock, it was almost 1:00 AM.

It's gotten pretty late.
I'll call him tomorrow.

I left a message for Shohei saying,
"There's something I want to talk about tomorrow, so let me know when you're done with work," and decided to go to sleep for the day.

I put the note in my father's bag,
and lay down in the bedroom where my family was sleeping.

I'm tired today.

Anyway, work starts the day after tomorrow, right?
I've caused trouble for the customers and the staff.

While I was lying there thinking about that, I suddenly remembered something.

As it was written in the note,
I started playing baseball in January of my fourth year of elementary school.

Since the date in the note was from December of my fourth year of elementary school,
I started youth baseball after my father wrote that page and continued until my third year of middle school.

And my father also started working as a baseball umpire around this time.

Maybe he wrote about starting as an umpire on some page.

Thinking about that, I fell asleep, exhausted.

It was a night where the sound of rain could be heard gently.

The next morning was a gloomy, overcast day.

I had overslept a little,
and usually, we would eat breakfast together and I would take Hiiragi and Momo to kindergarten.
But today, I had slept so soundly that I didn't even feel the usual morning rush,
and my wife had already taken both children to school.

My wife was also getting ready for work and was just about to leave the house.

"Sorry for oversleeping."

"It's okay, take it easy today."

"Have a good day."

I am truly saved by my wife's kindness.

I've never really put my gratitude into words for my wife,
and told her.

After seeing my wife off at the entrance,
I immediately checked the message from Shohei.
As expected, he had called while I was sleeping,

"Hey, are you okay? Did something happen?"
was the reply I received.

Just as I was about to reply, Shohei called me again.

"Morning, what's up, Shu? Did something happen? And long time no see, haha."
"Oh, long time no see! No, it's nothing important, haha."

"What's that supposed to mean? Haha. I was surprised because I got a message that sounded serious in the middle of the night."
"No, it's not a serious conversation, so call me when you're done with work!"

"I'm actually off work today! What?! Can you talk now?"
"Oh, is that so! Do you have any plans?"

"Just during the day! I have no plans after that!"

"Then I'm coming over now! Let's go for a drink tonight!"

"Huh!! Shu, you're in your hometown right now, aren't you!?"

I said it on impulse.

It takes four hours one way by train from my hometown to Tokyo.
But I wanted to meet him in person and talk so badly that I said it on impulse.

My work doesn't start until the day after tomorrow anyway.
I have time.
I immediately contacted my wife,
"I'm going to Tokyo to see Shohei,"
I sent her a message and started preparing right away.

I couldn't sit still.

Although I'm worried about cleaning up my parents' house and about my mother,
right now, I wanted to convey my“gratitude”to my best friend so I could see the rest of the note.

Perhaps because I felt that every page of my father's note was making me realize something or trying to give me something,
I felt hesitant to simply turn to the next page.
I felt hesitant to simply turn to the next page.

And then, my body moved on its own, wanting to go see Shohei.

I packed for an overnight stay,
took the note out of my father's bag, rushed out of the house,
and boarded a train bound for Tokyo.

I got off the train at a nostalgic station.
This was the town where I first lived when I moved to Tokyo.

It had been several years, and while the area in front of the station had changed quite a bit, it still retained its old atmosphere.
When I lived here, I used to meet Shohei under the clock tower in front of the station, and we would go out for drinks after work.

“Shu!”
I heard Shohei's voice from afar.

“Long time no see! Have you been well?”

“I’ve been well, but this is so sudden! Seriously, what’s up all of a sudden? Haha. Anyway, let’s go to my favorite spot!”

It had been three years since I last saw Shohei.
Since we became working adults, we don't see each other often,
and we don't keep in touch very frequently either.
But no matter how much time passes without us meeting, we both understand that we are best friends.
That’s the kind of relationship we have.

Shohei has always had an outstanding sense of style, from his clothes to his hair, and even after becoming a hairdresser, he has won numerous awards; he is truly a hairdresser in both appearance and substance.
He is now an elite hairdresser who became the youngest executive at the company he joined as a new graduate.

We made small talk until we reached the restaurant.

Asking how our friends back home were doing, or mentioning that Shohei still wasn't married, we arrived at his favorite place while chatting.

“Two draft beers!”
As Shohei finished ordering on his own,

“So, what is it? What’s with the sudden visit? Don’t tell me you got divorced? Haha.”

“No, no, haha. No, I just felt like having a drink with you, haha.”

“Huh? What do you mean? Haha. What happened all of a sudden? Haha.”

“No, even if you ask me what happened, haha. I just wanted to drink today, so I came, haha.”

I felt embarrassed and couldn't bring it up well.

Wasn't there something I wanted to tell Shohei?

I can't seem to say it honestly.
I muttered that to myself in my heart.

“Well, whatever! Let’s just have a good time drinking!”
Shohei said, and we got excited talking about my current job and old stories, and the conversation flowed.

I really get along well with Shohei.
He is the only friend I can talk to about anything.

Before I knew it, an hour had passed as we were caught up in our conversation.
I had been thinking only about my father lately,
but for a little while, I forgot about him and was enjoying myself from the bottom of my heart.

“So, why did you come today?”
Shohei suddenly blurted out.

“Huh...”

I fell silent.

“Come on, what is it? It’s a divorce, right!? Haha.”
Shohei said, slightly tipsy.

“No, it’s not! Back in high school, you invited me to become a hairdresser, and I really enjoy my work now and feel fulfilled, so I came here to thank you!”

“Huh! What? What do you mean by that?! Haha.”
Shohei replied with a laugh.

“Well, I might die tomorrow, you know...”

“What are you talking about all of a sudden? Haha.”

“Actually, my dad collapsed and died the other day. It really hit home how easily life can end. When I thought about that, I just felt like I had to see you, Shohei.”

Then I took the note out of my bag, placed it on the table while keeping it closed,
explained the circumstances of my father's sudden death, and told him that I had come this far because of the note.

“Because you were there for me, I’ve been able to keep enjoying being a hairdresser, and now I even want to open my own shop. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I would have done if you hadn’t invited me to beauty school back in high school.
For me, it was you who guided me to the way I live now.
So, even though it’s late, I came here today to say ‘thank you.’”

My heart suddenly felt warm.
I had never said anything like this to Shohei’s face before.
Even though he’s my closest friend,
it takes so much courage.

And then,
‘What am I saying?’
I felt embarrassed.

“I’m sorry to hear about your dad. Anyway, you should keep that note safe.
It’s not really for me to see.”

Shohei started talking.

“Actually, if we’re talking about that, it’s thanks to you, Shu, that I decided to become a hairdresser too.
I don’t know if you remember, but when I mentioned I was thinking about going to beauty school, you said, ‘You’re so dexterous, Shohei, you’ll definitely be a great hairdresser!’ I’m not the type to have many friends, so I felt at ease with you, and I thought it would be fun if we were together, so I invited you too.
I’ve actually remembered those words ever since, and that’s what made me decide to become a hairdresser. Even when we met up for drinks while you were living here and complained about work, you always encouraged me by saying, ‘You’ll be fine, Shohei.’
I was saved by your words, you know.
I feel like I should be the one saying thank you, really. Haha.”

I felt a slight tightening in my chest.

I didn’t know Shohei felt that way.

I had intended to come and express my gratitude,
but I had actually had an impact on Shohei’s life, even if just a little,
and I never expected to be thanked myself.

It made me happy to feel that,
even if just a little, I had been able to contribute to someone else.

From there, we went back to talking about old times, and we spent a fun time talking endlessly about our pasts until closing time.

On our way home after leaving the restaurant while still in high spirits,
at an intersection in the light rain, as we were parting ways, Shohei

thoughtfully asked me, "You're heading back tomorrow, right? Are you doing okay emotionally?"
and reached out to me.

"No, I'm totally fine! I'm glad we were able to meet at this time!"

"I see! That's good! If anything comes up, give me a call. Today was actually really fun!"

"Yeah, it was! I'll be in touch!"
With that, we gave each other a light high-five and went our separate ways.

When I turned around while walking, Shohei was also looking back at me as he walked,
so I waved my hand big.

I'm glad I was able to talk to him.
This city is the starting point of my working life.

Thinking that, before heading to the hotel, I walked through the nostalgic streets in the light rain,
and on a sudden whim, I passed by the apartment where I first lived when I moved to Tokyo.

It felt nostalgic.
While walking along the riverbank near the apartment,

even though more than six years have passed since I lived here, I haven't changed at all since then. I should have invited Dad at least once while I was living here.
I thought, and the regret of not being able to do anything for Dad washed over me again.

At the same time, I was thinking about what was written in Dad's note:
“You decide your own way of life.”
that he had told me.

Until now, I had just been working as a hairdresser because I thought it was fun,
but I want to make my customers even happier and become a "hairdresser who can receive gratitude."
I want to become a person who can create opportunities for the customers and people around me to move forward. There are times when it takes courage to convey things in words, but I have to be able to convey the gratitude and love I truly feel.
I have to live more seriously with at least that much feeling.
That is what my "way of life" is right now.

I don't know if it's right,
but it was the moment I felt that my "way of life" had been decided a little bit.
And just as Dad says,
I also felt as if the vessel that is myself had grown just a little bit larger.

The moment I felt that, I wanted to see the next page of the note quickly,

I'll go back quickly and see the rest of the note!

Thinking that,
feeling that the rain was about to get stronger from that nostalgic place,
I hurried back to the hotel.

When I arrived at the hotel and checked my smartphone, there was a message from my wife,
"Take it easy."
it said.

"I'm coming home tomorrow, thanks as always,"
I replied.

I took a shower to warm up my body, which was a little wet from the rain,
changed my clothes, immediately took Dad's note out of my bag,
and opened the note on the bed.