Father's Note Episode 8
June 2003
I have opened this note for the first time in a while.
I haven't really talked to Shuta much lately.
Shuta is in his third year of junior high school,
and his final baseball tournament is about to begin.
It's been so long since Shuta started playing baseball in the fourth grade of elementary school.
Time really flies.
Looking back at this note, I wrote about when Shuta started baseball and when we bought his glove, which makes me feel very nostalgic.
Until last year, I was in and out of the hospital a lot, but this year I'm doing well and have been able to spend my time helping out at a friend's restaurant.
Dad was often sick and couldn't go see many of Shuta's games, but this time it's different.
Actually, I've become qualified to be an umpire for official junior high school games.
I've been feeling good lately, so I've been studying and taking exams.
And believe it or not, although I haven't told Shuta yet,
I've been assigned to be the umpire for Shuta's first-round game in the junior high school tournament.
I won't show any favoritism at all!
I'm just happy that I can support you from the closest position possible.
Being an umpire is actually fun, and I'm thinking of continuing it for a long time.
I don't know how long I'll be able to do it, but I want to try as much as I can.
After I had to close my own shop, Motonoya, there were times when I didn't know how to go on living,
but I feel that there are still things I can do and things that are fun.
From now on, I want to take on more challenges and open a shop again!
Dad still has many things he wants to do,
and I will keep challenging myself,
so I hope that you, Shuta, who are reading this note, will also challenge yourself with many things and follow the path you have chosen.
When that time comes, just like when you helped me wash dishes when you were little,
I'll be counting on your help again!
Good luck with your final junior high school tournament.
I'm rooting for you.
From Dad
From home
This was a note he wrote before my final tournament in my third year of junior high school.
I certainly remember that Dad was the umpire for the first game and was standing right behind the batter's box.
I didn't think much of it at the time, but Dad was indeed right there watching over me.
It was a page that made me feel that.
So Dad really did want to run a shop again after all.
As I was thinking that,
my wife entered the room,
and I hurriedly hid the note under my knees again.
"You don't need dinner yet? And work starts tomorrow, right?"
"I ate quite a bit at my parents' house, so I'm good for today. And yes, work starts tomorrow."
"The kids might sleep until morning. I'll leave some food out just in case, so eat if you get hungry. I'm going out to shop for a bit, so please look after the kids if they wake up."
"Okay, take care."
My wife went out to shop.
I had reflexively hidden the note again.
When I took the note out onto the desk once more, I let out a sigh.
Come to think of it,
I haven't done anything for my father or mother.
My mother had such a hard time because my father was often ill.
And my father worked so hard while fighting his illness with all his might.
Through my father's note,
I was painfully reminded that I hadn't been facing my parents properly.
I am truly an unfilial son.
A wave of regret comes crashing over me again.
But here, I was struck by something.
And I looked back at the previous page.
The page where I was asked,
What kind of 'pride' do you have, Shuta?
I had thought I would just go on living my life as a hairdresser, but thanks to my father's note, I was able to rethink my way of living and decide to become a person who can receive gratitude and also give it. I was able to meet my best friend and express my gratitude for the first time, I've started telling my wife about my gratitude and love in words, and I've even started thinking about wanting to cut my mother's hair and express my true feelings more proactively.
The existence of my father, who wrote and left behind such a love-filled note, is my 'pride'.
I am who I am today because of the support of the people around me,
and if I don't become the kind of person they can be proud of,
I would be failing my father who left this note behind.
My pride is my father's existence.
I am proud of my father, and
with the kindness like my father's and the strength to support those around me,
I will become someone who can also be proud.
The sadness and loneliness I felt just a moment ago cleared up as if it were a lie.
I will cherish my own 'way of life' and 'pride',
and live positively just like my father.
I was able to think that way.
The sadness faded a little.
Just then, I heard the sound of the front door opening,
and my wife returned from shopping.
I hurriedly hid the note in the drawer again,
and rushed to greet my wife.
I returned to the living room and drank while having casual conversation with my wife who had come home.
I felt like my heart had cleared up a little.
For now,
since I have work tomorrow, I'll prepare for tomorrow early and go to sleep.
Thinking that, I got ready for bed,
and collapsed next to my children who were fast asleep after playing all day.
I'll look at the note again when I wake up tomorrow morning.
It was raining again.
It's been raining all the time lately.