Unconscious traits of men in their 40s that cause the person they like to drift away
I ordered just one drink at Snack Yuki today, too.
Today, I chose Johnnie Walker Black Label 12 Year Old.
It is available at every bar.
I thought I was used to drinking it.
But every time I drink it,
it reveals a depth I didn't know before.
I thought I understood it,
but I didn't.
I think that's the kind of liquor it is.
There was someone I was interested in.
It didn't work out.
I can't really explain why.
It's just that,
I thought I was doing things for the best, but
it seems everything was wrong.
When she complained,
I offered a solution.
I said, 'You should do this.'
I thought I was being a reliable man.
I was wrong.
No, maybe I just wanted to be reliable.
What she wanted
was not an answer.
She just wanted
a single word like,
'That must have been tough.'
With just that,
she could feel that her feelings
had reached someone.
That she had been understood.
She just wanted that feeling.
Yet, I
was trying to provide an answer
before receiving those feelings.
It was the same with our conversations.
When she started talking,
before I knew it, I was talking about myself.
Come to think of it, I feel like
I've always been like that.
I was supposed to be listening to someone,
but before I knew it, I was talking about myself.
She had been listening
with a smile the whole time.
I didn't realize
that she was just
being considerate.
It was the same when the shop was closed.
I couldn't apologize honestly.
"But the internet
said it was open."
Why do I say things like that?
I don't even know myself.
In that moment,
her expression changed slightly.
I have had times like that too.
Trying to prove that I wasn't wrong,
I end up leaving
the feelings of the person in front of me behind.
I didn't mean any harm.
I really didn't mean any harm.
That is...
I don't think you have to change everything.
Just one thing.
When the other person is talking,
before offering a solution,
try saying,
"That must have been tough."
Instead of being right,
accept the feelings of the person in front of you
first.
Perhaps, just by doing that,
something will change.
Perhaps, anyway.
I took
another sip of Johnnie Walker.
I thought I understood, but
I didn't understand yet.
People might be the same.
The glass is empty.
I'll stop here for today.
If you'd like, here is more.
👉 What I was chasing wasn't love, but anxiety
👉 Common traits of "men who stay just good friends" that women spot in an instant