There are days when I wonder, 'Why did I get a divorce?'

But I won't deny the person I've become by walking this path alone🌿

Hello, Hana here🌷
Working as a single mother and raising my child, I realized it's been years since I've had any time for myself.

Chasing after daily life, when I start to feel overwhelmed, these emotions sometimes suddenly resurface.

Of course, there were reasons.
My ex-husband was so narcissistic, and he wouldn't even allow me to express my own opinions.

He even said things like that to me.
I was a full-time housewife for a long time, and he never once told me he wanted me to work.

Maybe I should have just handled the housework🧹

Sometimes, this thought crosses my mind.

If I hadn't talked back, hadn't made waves,
and just kept the house in order and focused on raising the kids,
maybe we could have made ends meet without me having to work so desperately like I do now.

But that would have meant living every day while suppressing my own feelings.
A life of just 'existing,' without freedom or dignity.

I couldn't choose a life where I continued to be a 'wife' while emptying myself out like that.
No, I think I chose not to.

Maybe I could have supported my son's entrance exams more📚

If I hadn't divorced,
maybe I could have spent more on my son's education.

This is a regret that never fades for me.

I couldn't afford to send him to cram school.
He only took the bare minimum of mock exams.
And for his reference books, instead of buying them new, I gathered them from flea market apps.
He did his best, but
the thought that I could have done more for him just won't go away.

But...
It is also a fact that I worked, saved money, gathered information, and
scraped together the money needed for my son's further education.

Even if no one else understands how difficult that process was, I
know it well.

Even if I look back at the past, I cannot go back⏳

Every time I remember it,
I wonder if I chose the wrong path.

But, there is no turning back.

Because, I—
escaped from those hellish days and
made it this far on my own.

It's okay to have days when you're exhausted and stop in your tracks.
It's okay to have nights when you cry.
But, at times like that, I want to whisper this to myself.

Not for someone else, but to reclaim 'myself'🌱

The path I chose was
surely a long, steep, and difficult one.

But, this is my life.

Even if I wasn't protected by anyone, it is a
life I protected myself.

I want to tell my past self, “You did well to come this far.”
And I want to tell someone else in the same situation who is living this moment with all their might.

💬 Do you also have moments where you feel like regretting the past?

If you are struggling right now and
thinking, 'Why did I choose this path?',
please try to gently vent it in the comments section🕊️

I also stop and start walking again from time to time.
I would be happy if we could look forward together🍀

🌸 For those who want to know more about the real life of a single mother, 'Hana'

My profile is summarized here.

✅ Daily musings and the latest information are being posted on X📱

Thank you for reading until the end🌸
If you can empathize, I would be happy if you could 'Like❤️' or follow👤 me.
Comments💬 are also very encouraging.
Please, let me hear your voice😊