What are 'fluffy words'? | Autism Parenting Diary

What is this?

The twins returned home after finishing their last day at nursery school.

They took their crafts out of their bags one after another. Even though they usually don't even show me the printouts they get. I felt that the last few days must have been very fun and memorable for them.
Among them, I noticed a card that my older twin brought out and asked him about it.

It's a 'fluffy word'.

He said that and showed it to me.

He told me he colored it and cut it out cutely.

What were 'fluffy words' again?

When I asked, he tilted his head a little and
Hmm, kind words.

He answered like that.

I said, 'That's right.'

That is what the teachers at the nursery school they graduated from taught them.
The world is also overflowing with prickly words. Sometimes they aren't even just 'prickly'—they can be much worse.
Children sometimes hurt each other by using prickly words unconsciously. It happens precisely because they don't yet know the magnitude of the power of words... or what kind of impact that has on others.

That is exactly why, while they are still young, the nursery school teachers told them almost every morning how important words are and how important it is to speak with the other person in mind. I am so grateful for that.

The older twin who taught me about 'fluffy words' has autism.
After he moved up to the toddler class, the things he struggled with became more pronounced. The nursery school teachers carefully observed his daily behavior and suggested support such as developmental therapy.

When I talk about that, some people are surprised and ask, 'Does that mean the nursery school told you to go to therapy because your child is strange?' I was actually surprised by that reaction. I thought, 'Is that how people interpret it? Well, I suppose that can't be helped...'

The nursery school teacher never once said that he was 'strange'.

'During group activities, he seems particularly anxious and comes to the corner of the room to observe. Like this, sucking his thumb...'

In this way, they recorded videos of how he was doing at preschool and let me know when he was having trouble. As a parent, I had already started to feel that something was different and that things were becoming difficult, so this confirmed it. Rather, I felt it was a chance to clarify his strengths and weaknesses for the future and make his life easier.

I'm sure it must have taken courage. Having worked in the education industry for a long time, I know that some parents find it hard to accept such news.
That is why I am nothing but grateful to the preschool for having the courage to tell me.

From there, I wanted to deepen my own understanding, so I became a certified child development supporter. The happy look on the teachers' faces when I told them about it is one of my most cherished memories.

These are his two "fluffy words."

Because of issues with his pen pressure, he isn't good at writing characters. So, it takes him time. He used to get frustrated with himself and would always tell his teachers or his twin brother to "write it for me." But by the time he reached his final year of preschool, his awareness of wanting to do things himself, even if it takes time, grew significantly.

"Wait a moment"

There's no need to rush. Everyone will wait for you properly.

These are words that protect him.

Also, he is a bit more sensitive to food textures than others.
Mushrooms are especially like that; when he feels that squishy texture, he sometimes even throws up.

"A little difficult for me"

Don't push yourself. But to properly convey your own feelings.
These are words for him to value himself.

At preschool. At home.
I was happy to feel that the words I had been conveying to him had taken root inside him.

*

The twin younger brother, born one minute after the twin older brother.
Even though they are twins, they have completely different personalities, and that is exactly why they love each other and spend every day feeling each other's presence close by.

The older twin is in a special needs class. The younger twin is in a regular class, and they are in different classrooms.
How much does he really understand about finally spending time apart?
I'm the one who is feeling lonelier and lonelier.

My younger son is very dexterous and loves writing and doing crafts.
He gets along well with my eldest daughter, and today, with time to kill during spring break, they were working together on a cardboard project.

The words he wrote down were the lyrics to "Tabidachi no Hi ni" (On the Day of Departure), which he had practiced so much.

He handed me a big stack, saying he wrote a lot while remembering the lyrics.
I'm sure there were many difficult words. I wonder if he felt something from them.

The twins are, naturally, boys of the same age.
They fight, and sometimes they get angry and shout at each other.

I have never seen the younger twin mock the older twin for things he cannot do. When the older brother writes something he worked hard on, the younger one reads it and says, 'You did it!'
When the older twin sees the younger one skillfully making things, drawing illustrations, or walking 10 meters on his hands, he praises him from the bottom of his heart, saying, 'That's amazing!'

Ah, they have grown into fine young men, I think.

When I was taught about 'fluffy words'.
A phrase suddenly crossed my mind.

#WhatIsThisAbout

I think this, too, is truly a 'fluffy word'.

It doesn't need a punchline.
It doesn't matter if you don't know what it's about.
There is no judgment of whether it's interesting or boring.
It is a magical phrase that embraces everything.

After seeing the interview article the other day, I realized even more deeply how much these fluffy words save people.

I don't know what the future holds for them—they are similar, yet completely different.
But, just as they say almost every day even now.
I want them to keep thinking, 'I'm glad we're twins.'

If they ever find themselves at a loss on the path they choose to take.
I would like to suggest that they whisper to each other, 'What is this about?'
I am sure that they, too, will be illuminated by these fluffy words from the back alley and be able to find their next signpost.
Just as their mother did.

Finally, next week is the elementary school entrance ceremony.
Until then, I can only pray to God that I will be able to start the task of labeling the school supply boxes, math sets, and school items—times two—that I have completely hidden away in the storage room and am pretending to have forgotten.

#WhatIsThisAbout

Special thanks
On World Autism Awareness Day, I am also sending my thoughts.