[Education Series Part 2] Is school non-attendance a problem of "how parents interact"? — A psychologist who crosses boundaries thinks this way
In the previous article,
along with the story of a mother
I am involved with as a school counselor,
I summarized the "left-brained in the head" type of school non-attendance and
the response at the hospital.
(Click here for the previous article ↓)
(Click here for information about the "left-brained in the head" type ↓)
In this article,
I would like to summarize
my own thoughts.
The pitfall of thinking that explains things as "spoiling"
Continuing from the previous article,
as a fundamental premise, I
"Because the mother just listens to everything the child says,
I can't tell if it's a trait or just selfishness"
Regarding this statement from the medical side,
I cannot help but feel that
"not being able to distinguish" is an assessment problem on the expert's side, and blaming the parent's involvement is shifting responsibility
I feel this way.
They have been desperately trying to understand their child's difficulties,
and have been working hard through trial and error.
Imagining the frustration of a mother who was told this by a complete stranger,
my heart truly aches.
In the car on the way home from the hospital.
The face of my child seen through the rearview mirror.
With what feelings did the mother
return home?
Since I am not the person involved,
I could only listen to the story and imagine it.
Continued
"Isn't the mother spoiling them too much?
Spoiling cannot be cured with medicine"
However,
regarding this as well, I feel
the error in the very perception that "a parent listening to a child who says they don't want to go to school = spoiling"
I feel this.
For those who are "left-brained in the head,"
responding flexibly to the child's needs
is a natural thing.
This is not "spoiling," but
a
reasonable accommodation according to their developmental stage and traits (it goes without saying).
Even so,
applying general parenting norms as they are
is in itself an inappropriate statement
I think.
Perhaps
"The mother continuing to listen to the plea that they don't want to go to school" = "maladaptive learning"
I think that is the intention, but
this is not an assessment, but rather
an act of simply "evaluating" the child with the subjective and wavering word "spoiling"
I believe so.
And,
the framework that "a parent listening to a child who says they don't want to go to school" equals "spoiling" is,
simply "rephrasing" the cause of the behavior using words that describe that behavior
one could say (it is called a circular reasoning trap). It is a structure that seems to interpret things but actually interprets nothing at all.
If possible, rather than these words based on an "external perspective," I would like to look at the background of why they cannot go to school
Could it be that their anxiety is too strong to bear?
Could they be suffering from sensory sensitivities?
Is there a possibility they are confused because they cannot see the path ahead?
Are they expressing stress they cannot verbalize through their behavior?
Is it difficult for them to switch tasks due to weak executive function?
Perhaps they have become defensive due to past failures.
If these "internal" aspects had been properly captured in words, wouldn't the mother's feelings have been quite different?
When professional words become a "blade"
Summarized in the latter half of the previous article
"Medicine is superior to education"
or
"Professionals are superior to the individuals involved"
I believe that this implicit social structure turns casual remarks by professionals into sharp blades.
"Words have the power to distort reality"
As someone who also works on the front lines of the medical field, I want to continue to be someone who can constantly monitor myself regarding how sharp my words are and how much they might distort reality for that person, and I want to continue making the effort to be that way.
The stress and symptoms experienced by "left-handed people" in a right-handed society
Up to this point, I have summarized the magnitude of the influence held by medical professionals in my own words, but of course, conditions such as anxiety disorders, insomnia, and pediatric depression are areas where medical expertise is applied.
These ailments are various symptoms that arise when the "left-handed person in the mind" lives in the "right-handed society in the mind."
Regarding these symptoms,
Dan Papa's article is very easy to understand, so
I will post a link to it.
Thank you very much, Dan Papa, for your kind permission♪
The "3 signs" to visit a child psychiatrist or psychosomatic medicine clinic
found in Dan Papa's article
are very appropriate even from a medical perspective.
If these symptoms are present,
I would definitely like you to consider visiting a hospital.
If you have not yet
seen Dan Papa's article,
please take a look at it once.
The next time will be the final part of this series.
Even after connecting with a hospital,
the school non-attendance still does not improve.
I would like to summarize
my [Furiko's] thoughts
on such cases.
Thank you for reading
this time as well.
The next article is here↓