Let's Make Society Bounce with People Who Live in the Margins (Serial Column / Prologue)

I am starting a conversation about loosening up on the idea of doing things "properly."

I believe that interacting with others is a more delicate endeavor than we often think.

I want to support them.
I want to help them.
I want to guide them.

Behind those feelings of "doing it for their own good" lie not just kindness, but a mixture of anxiety, expectations, and unconscious desires.

However, what is truly important is the fact that such good intentions might, before we know it, be robbing the other person of their "power to choose" or their "right to be uncertain."
Such moments are lurking in various places in our daily lives more often than we imagine.

At home, at work, at school, and in our communities, we live our lives within various relationships every day.

And without realizing it...
I want you to be right / I don't want you to fail / I don't want you to take the long way around / I want you to be proper...
We sometimes project such "wishes" onto the lives of others.

The troublesome part is that if the other person doesn't notice those feelings, we may even become stubborn and obsessed with trying to "make them do it."

I must be a proper parent.
I must be a proper employee.
Since I am being proper, the other person must be proper too.

Those who have disciplined themselves in this way might actually be better off relaxing a little more.

This is because there is a high possibility that, without knowing it, they have become unable to allow "having margins" for themselves or for those close to them.

This series originally began by thinking about "how a community should be."

How can we create a place where people can be themselves?
How can we live together without controlling someone else?

As I deepened my thoughts, those questions naturally moved closer to schools, homes, and parent-child relationships.

It is not that the theme changed while I was writing.
I believe that is where the question of "relationships that respect autonomy" appears in its purest form.

The keyword that emerged there was "having margins." I would like to gradually unravel what that means throughout the main text.

How to raise a child.
How to lead a subordinate.
How to motivate people.

In any of these situations, before doing those things, I would like to quietly rethink the question.

How much do we truly trust the lives of others?

Perhaps autonomy is not something to be "cultivated," but rather something that is inherently there, which we must protect without taking away their power to choose.

This series is about community, about education and parenting, and above all, it is a journey to re-examine one's own way of living.

Not to guide someone correctly, nor to make someone act as you wish...
What kind of relationships allow people to continue walking their own lives on their own two feet?
I would be happy if you could read through this while gently holding that question.

It is fine to just pick and read the chapters that interest you.
I believe that alone has sufficient meaning.

If this becomes a catalyst for dialogue with someone close to you, or creates time to return to questions about yourself, there is no greater joy.

How to be as a parent at home
How to be as a boss or colleague in the workplace
How to engage with the local community and society

“This might be our story.”

If you felt that way even in one place, I would be happy if you could quietly take it back to your daily conversations.
I hope you will try to put into words the thoughts you have kept deep in your heart during those opportunities for dialogue, rather than holding them all by yourself.

Surely, there is still “margin” left in everyone's life.

[Making Society Bounce with People Living in the Margins] Series Structure

Prologue | Starting a conversation about loosening up on “doing things properly” (This article)
Chapter 1 | How to have a community that does not infringe on individual autonomy
Chapter 2 | The school as a community and children's autonomy
Chapter 3 | Re-questioning the “first community” called home
Chapter 4 | The struggle of parents who take away the margin even though they don't want to
Final Chapter | Parents living their own lives set their children free

Backstage, Inc.
Culture Formation Designer
Yoshinori Kawai

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