Kind words can also hurt people
"Do your best"
"It's okay"
"Don't worry about it"
These are all words born from a desire to encourage someone.
Surely there is no malice intended.
It is precisely because you care about the other person,
that these words come out naturally.
But there are days when that kindness doesn't reach them.
On the contrary,
it can sometimes even hurt the other person.
■ Even if the words are the same, the hearts are not
When said on a good day,
"Do your best"
is encouraging.
But on a day when you are already doing enough,
"I have to try even harder"
Sometimes it feels painful.
"It's okay"
is one such phrase.
There are days when it brings comfort,
"But I'm actually not okay..."
There are also days when you feel that way.
Even if the words don't change,
the heart that receives them is a little different every day.
That is precisely why,
even with the same words, there are days they feel warm,
and days they feel painful.
■ What I realized
In the past,
"I want to encourage you"
was the only feeling I used to choose my words.
But one time,
what came back to me after I gathered the courage to share my feelings was,
"Don't worry about it."
That was the one thing said.
Of course,
I believe they said it out of kindness.
But I,
"I guess this conversation is over now."
"Maybe I shouldn't talk about this anymore."
That is how I ended up feeling.
Since that incident,
I have come to
"what words to say"
rather than,
"how the other person is feeling right now"
think about that instead.
■What truly saves people
It is not the words themselves,
"I care about you"
It is conveying that feeling.
That is what, above all,
saves a person's heart, isn't it?
"Thank you for telling me"
"That must have been hard"
"You don't have to push yourself"
Even just a single phrase,
words that accept the other person's feelings,
mysteriously have warmth.
■ I am still learning too
Even now,
"What would have been the right thing to say?"
I sometimes worry about that.
There surely is no single correct answer.
That is why I,
Rather than searching for the perfect words,
I want to be someone who can
listen to others until the very end.
Even if I choose the wrong words, I believe that
the desire to be there for someone
will surely get through.
■In conclusion
Kind words can sometimes hurt people.
But that does not mean
that the kindness itself is wrong.
What is truly important is
not "what you say"
but rather,
"with what feelings you convey it."
And,
trying to listen to the other person's heart.
With just that, the temperature of the same words changes.
Through this 'Words Series',
what I wanted to convey was that
words have
the power to hurt people,
and also the power to save them.
That is precisely why,
I hope that today, too, the words we choose to share with someone
can be chosen with just a little more care.
The time spent thinking about words
has been precious to me as well.
From next time, I will change the theme a little,
I would like to write about the "expressions of the heart."
◆Related Articles◆
・The kinder a person is, the more they say "I'm sorry"
・The kinder a person is, the more they say "I'm fine"
・The kinder a person is, the more painful it is to be told "do your best"
・There are times when "don't worry about it" is not enough to save someone
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