Habits are a 'Skill'! New Common Sense to Accelerate Self-Growth
Conclusion: The reason you end up quitting after three days is not because you have a weak will, but because you don't know the 'correct order' of habit formation.
Reason: Because there are five stages that everyone goes through for human behavior to change, and if you ignore them, you will inevitably fail.
This time, based on a model presented by an authority in behavioral psychology, I will provide you with three specific perspectives to rethink habits as a 'skill' and accelerate your self-growth.
Hello, this is Bunsho.
I will confess honestly. I am an expert at quitting after three days. I could even call it my specialty; I have failed at countless challenges until now.
Every time that happened, I would fall into self-loathing, thinking, 'I failed again... why is my will so weak?' I just couldn't escape this infinite loop.
However, one day I encountered the idea that 'habit formation is not about willpower, but about scientific skill acquisition,' and my world changed 180 degrees.
This time, I will introduce the eye-opening perspective that became a turning point for me. If I could do it, you should be able to grow yourself even better.
About the Proponent
Source: University of Rhode Island
He is an American psychologist and a world authority on behavioral science who serves as the director of the Cancer Prevention Research Center at the University of Rhode Island.
He studied for many years the process by which people stop bad habits (especially things like smoking) and acquire good habits, and he discovered that there is a common pattern.
That is the 'Transtheoretical Model' (Stages of Change).
This model shows that a person's readiness for change is divided into five stages, from the 'Precontemplation' stage to the 'Maintenance' stage, and it scientifically clarified that appropriate approaches differ at each stage.
His theory provides an extremely concrete roadmap, not based on mentalism, for why our challenges end in 'quitting after three days' and how we can overcome it.
Which stage are you in now?
According to Dr. Prochaska, the biggest reason we quit after three days is that we ignore our 'current location' and try to aim for the goal immediately.
In RPG terms, it's like storming the final boss's castle while still at level 1 with starting equipment. There is no way you can win like that.
First, let's calmly check where you are among the five stages.
Pre-contemplation stage: You have no intention of going on an adventure in the first place. (e.g., "I'm not interested in exercise at all.")
Contemplation stage: You hear rumors of an adventure. (e.g., "Exercise might be nice..." and you start gathering information on social media.)
Preparation stage: You prepare your equipment. (e.g., Buying workout clothes and visiting a gym.)
Action stage: You set out on the adventure, but you are still weak. (e.g., You start exercising, but you're about to give up on the third day due to muscle soreness.)
Maintenance stage: The adventure becomes a daily routine. (e.g., You feel uncomfortable if you don't exercise.)
We tend to mistake the "Action stage" for the starting point. However, the real battle begins at the "Contemplation stage."
Knowing the existence of this stage is the first key to overcoming the habit of giving up after three days.
Perspective 1: Reframe 'failure' as 'stepping back a stage'
When you view habits as a 'skill' and understand this stage model, your perspective on failure changes dramatically.
For example, you started exercising (Action stage), but you were too busy and took a week off (backtracking to the Contemplation or Preparation stage).
This is not a 'failure.' It is simply being returned to a previous save point in a game.
You just need to start again from there.
Dr. Prochaska's research also shows that people move back and forth between stages, changing little by little as if climbing a spiral staircase.
Failure is not 'game over,' but just one of the events. This realization will save you from the swamp of self-loathing.
Perspective 2: Clear the 'tasks of each stage' instead of relying on 'willpower'
The strength of this model is that the things you need to do at each stage are clear.
If in the Contemplation stage: Don't force yourself to start; focus on gathering information about the pros and cons. Just looking at the social media of someone you admire is fine.
If in the Preparation stage: Make a concrete plan. Decide 'when, where, and what' you will do, and set a small goal (start with once a week).
If in the Action stage: Don't aim for perfection. Just praise yourself for 'what you were able to do' as much as possible.
This is not about pushing through with sheer willpower, but rather like clearing quests one by one at each stage.
Just as Goku underwent step-by-step training under King Kai in 'Dragon Ball,' completing tasks in the correct order is the shortest route to mastering a skill.
Perspective 3: Believe in the 'Power of Environment' rather than 'Willpower'
Dr. Prochaska's model suggests the limitations of an approach that relies solely on an individual's willpower.
Especially in the 'Action' and 'Maintenance' stages, an 'environment' that helps trigger the skill is more important than anything else.
For example, if you want to polish your 'reading skills',
Turn off your smartphone and disable notifications.
Place the books you should read in front of the TV.
Join a community where readers gather.
Do not overestimate your willpower; instead, design an environment where you have to act or want to act. This is the smartest strategy based on behavioral science.
Summary
If you are worried about being a 'quitter,' it is not because your willpower is weak.
You simply did not know the 'scientific sequence' for personal change that Dr. Prochaska demonstrated.
Know your stage, clear your tasks one by one, and make the environment your ally. Once you acquire this 'habit-forming skill,' you will no longer be swayed by theories of sheer grit.
3 Things You Can Do Right Now
1. Determine which of the 5 stages you are in regarding the habit you want to challenge right now (1 minute)
2. Decide on just one 'baby step' to move to the next stage (e.g., if in the contemplation stage, just order a related book) (30 seconds)
3. Physically move one thing that might get in the way of that habit (e.g., put your smartphone in another room) (10 seconds)
Thank you for reading until the end.
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References:
Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1983). Stages and processes of selfchange of smoking: Toward an integrative model of change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(3), 390–395.
Lifehacker: "Think of New Habits as Skills" by Beth Skwarecki (https://lifehacker.com/think-of-new-habits-as-skills)
University of Rhode Island: "James O. Prochaska, PhD" (https://web.uri.edu/psychology/meet/james-prochaska/)
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