I'm lazy, but I want to do things right.

—I feel like I've been pushed and pulled by that feeling
for a long time.

I'm lazy, but I want to do things right.

For a long time, I've been complicating that feeling.

When I cut corners, I feel uneasy for some reason.
When I try hard, I get exhausted right away.

The middle ground between those two,
I just couldn't find it.

For example, on a night when I come home exhausted from work.
There are ingredients in the fridge.
If I wanted to, I could cook.

But tonight, I just don't want to do anything.
Maybe I'll just order takeout...

At times like that,
even though no one is blaming me,
for some reason, I think, "I'm no good."

I've been like that for a long time, too.

"Try hard" or "don't try hard."
Between those two extreme choices of 0 or 100,
I feel like I've been wavering the whole time.

Then, one day.

I suddenly realized something.

There are days when just steaming vegetables
somehow saves me.

Even on nights when I don't want to stand in the kitchen,
just grilling some fish I had frozen
becomes a "meal."

The moment cooking changes from "I have to do it"
to "I'm glad I did it."

That, surely,
I didn't try hard, but I did it right.
was born from that sense of satisfaction.

For me now, "doing it right"
doesn't mean making it perfectly.
It doesn't mean making it look good, either.

It means not leaving myself behind.
It means being able to tell myself,
"This is enough for today."

I feel like I've started to find
that "middle ground" little by little.

In this note, I write about
being lazy, but wanting to do things properly.

I am gradually writing down meals and words
that resonate with those feelings.

If you'd like, I'd be happy if you could quietly follow me
and come back to take a peek again.

Let's look for meals that don't make us
blame ourselves together.

♦︎If you'd like, please take a look at these as well.

“I slacked off again today. But I decided to count it as having cooked properly.”
—A story about the day I gently gave myself a pass for the meal I couldn't put much effort into.

“It wasn't sloppy, but it wasn't perfect either; it was a meal that saved me.”
—About the day I felt a little better after eating, even though it wasn't done properly.