Thinking about the day again on a sleepless night. — How I, an introvert, deal with unstoppable ruminative thinking

The moment I get into bed, my brain starts racing.

“Was my reply earlier weird?”
“What was that silence about?”

The quieter it gets, the more those thoughts come flooding in.

I’m exhausted, yet I can’t sleep. I’m trying to rest, but my mind just won’t stop.

I tell myself I’m worrying too much, thinking too much. This has been happening every day.

For “overthinkers,” the brain never stops

There is a term called ruminative thinking.

It is the act of replaying past events or conversations in your head over and over again. It’s a loop where things that should be over never end, with thoughts like “I should have said it this way” or “Why did I do that?”

You’re moving, but nothing changes.

I think that is the true nature of that feeling of exhaustion.

Why are introverts prone to rumination?

Introverts tend to process information deeply.

Once they receive a stimulus, they hold onto it in their brain for a long time, trying to understand it by referencing it repeatedly. In itself, this also means being able to think about things carefully.

However, that trait also has a side that easily connects to rumination.

• Reprocessing the content of a conversation in your head after it’s over

• Lingering on the other person’s expressions and the nuances of their words for a long time

• When it gets quiet, internal processing begins because there is no more external information

When external stimuli decrease, an introvert’s brain easily enters “internal mode.” There are days when you can recover there, and days when anxiety starts to spiral.

Which one it becomes likely depends on your state at the time and the content of the rumination.

When “zoning out to rest” is restorative, and when it becomes painful

“Rest when you are tired” is correct.

However, “how to rest” changes depending on the state of your brain that day.

The brain has a network that activates when you are doing nothing. It is called the default mode network, and it is the part that works when you are zoning out or introspecting.

When you feel secure, this network is used for organizing memories and processing emotions. This is the state known as “zoning out to recover.”

However, when you are under high stress or experiencing increased anxiety, that same time spent zoning out easily becomes a time for rumination.

Do you recall the feeling of “being able to rest at a cafe, but finding the silence of the night painful”?

The story of how Tetris was used in “intrusive thought research”

In some PTSD research, there are studies where visuospatial games like Tetris were used to reduce intrusive thoughts—the phenomenon where unwanted memories or images pop into your head.

Why is Tetris effective?

The brain has something like a “workspace” for processing visuospatial information. Tetris uses a significant amount of that space. You have to grasp the shape of the blocks, rotate them, and decide where to place them. While the brain is occupied with that processing, there is less room for other thoughts to enter.

There is a limit to the capacity the brain can process at once. By “giving it a light, different task,” there are moments when rumination becomes less likely to occur.

People prone to rumination can sometimes find relief through “light external stimuli”

Trying to stop your brain will only make you more tired.

The moment you consciously think “I will try not to think about it,” those words invite the thought in. Therefore, rather than trying to stop your brain, gently shifting its focus can sometimes work better.

These are the things that were actually effective when I tried them.

• Turn on the radio (just having voices playing directs a part of the brain toward “listening”)

• Play a simple game for just 5 minutes

• Do a task that requires conscious focus, like practicing an instrument

What they have in common is that they provide just enough stimulation for the brain to “lightly look forward.”

Social media is often too stimulating. Because it contains a large amount of information and triggers too many emotions, it is difficult to use for rest. I think the “just right” level of a radio is more suitable for a brain prone to rumination.

What made things easier for me was stopping the habit of dictating what "proper rest" should be.

For a long time, I thought the idea of "when you're tired, rest quietly" was the only correct answer.

Meditation, a silent room, or time spent doing nothing. There was a time when I thought that if I couldn't do those things, I was even bad at resting.

But there were days when I needed silence, and days when I wanted to have the radio on. Both existed.
(By the way, in my case, it often tends to be one extreme or the other.)

There were nights when I could finally recover in a space without sound, and nights when my brain would start running on its own if it were silent. There were also times when my mind would smoothly quiet down only while I was doing simple tasks.

I felt a little more at ease once I started asking myself, "Which one is it today?"

Instead of "not thinking," it's about "observing the state of your brain."

What does the me of today need: silence, or light stimulation?

To figure that out, if you observe yourself a little, these signs can be helpful.

Signs that quiet rest is suitable

• Feeling exhausted by sound or the amount of information

• After meeting too many people

• When stimulation in general feels overwhelming

Signs that light stimulation is suitable

• When you are in silence, your thoughts start to get noisy

• When only your brain becomes active at night

• When the loop of anxiety won't stop

Summary: You don't have to be at odds with an "overthinking brain"

An overthinking brain won't change immediately. And perhaps there is no need to change it.

The problem wasn't the thinking itself. The cause of the exhaustion was the inability to finish processing, and going around and around in the same place.

The goal isn't to become insensitive. I believe the realistic way out is to keep your ability to perceive things as it is, while gradually learning how to manage your brain.

Overthinking is a brain specification where processing is difficult to complete. I think it's more important to learn how to handle it than to keep using it while blaming yourself.

In this note, I share information from the perspective of someone who is an introvert and highly sensitive, to help others like me survive without becoming too exhausted. I write this while incorporating my knowledge as a qualified Labor and Social Security Attorney and a Career Consultant.

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