The story of how I blamed my husband too much during my daughter's 'Papaya' phase

My daughter is 2 years and 9 months old.
Lately, she has been treating her dad a bit roughly.

For diaper changes, it's "I want Mommy!"
For bath time, it's "No, Daddy!"

Choosing clothes, putting on a bib, putting on shoes, holding hands.
It's all Mommy, all the time.

If Daddy even tries to get close, she starts acting like a tragic heroine, crying out, "Mommyyyyy!"

I got annoyed at my husband's defeatist attitude

At first, my husband tried to hang in there.

But lately, he's mostly given up.
He says, "I guess you only want Mommy, right?" and has zero motivation.

That attitude really made me snap.

Don't you spend enough time with her normally?
Isn't there room for effort, like trying to entice her with toys?
Have you tried asking other dads at work for advice?
There might be plenty of tips online, too, you know?

These thoughts just exploded out of me.

I'm playing multiple roles all by myself here.

I just wanted him to show me, even a little, that he was struggling to "do something about it."

Mommy has never been rejected once

But then, I suddenly realized something.

I have never been rejected by my daughter, not even once.

Ever since she was born, I have only ever been wanted.

Sure, she has her "no-no" phases, but I have never once been rejected as "Mommy."

How many times have I thought, "If Daddy can't do it, the burden of childcare falls entirely on Mommy. You don't know how hard that is, do you?"

But surely, my husband's side of the story is this:

"To be unilaterally rejected by my own child for no reason. (And then get yelled at by my wife, too.) You don't know the emptiness and sadness of that, do you?"

That makes sense.

If even Mom becomes Dad's enemy here, it might be the most painful thing ever.

That's why, especially at times like this, I should stand by Dad.

Taking on the 'Mommy is better' phase

Of course, it's true that the burden on Mom increases. I can't lie about that. lol. There are plenty of days when one body just isn't enough.

But to be loved this much by my daughter, and to be wanted this much.

Aren't I an incredibly lucky person?

I am the only one who can fulfill this role.

So for a while, I think I'll fully embrace the 'Mommy is better' phase.

This is Mom's declaration of resolve.

So Dad, please don't give up and keep reaching out to her.

Summary: 'Mommy is better,' that's all it is

It's easy to misunderstand, but 'Mommy is better' does not mean 'Daddy is hated.'

The child's true intention is literally just 'Mommy is better.' She just loves Mom way too much.

The word 'Daddy-hating' is just being used to make that point. Really, that's all it is.

So, while I think it's a bit damaging to be rejected, taking it to heart might be a bit off the mark.

'Wow, you really love Mommy too much, don't you? lol'

That level of temperature is just fine.

Rest assured. I'm sure before long, your daughter will be begging, 'Daddy, hold me!' as if nothing ever happened.

Because that's just how children are.

While being pushed around by our daughter like that, Mom and Dad are still in training.

Now then, I wonder how many times I'll be called 'Mom' today.

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Thank you for reading!
As a former healthcare professional turned stay-at-home mom, I write about caregiving, child-rearing, and the complicated things in life.

I write about everything from serious topics to a bit of silly stuff, so if there's a theme that interests you, please take a look at my other articles.